March 19, 2007
Month Twenty Four
Dear I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino,

You turned two this month. Trite as it most definitely is, it seems like only yesterday that you were born. I vividly remember sitting in my 400-sq-ft. apartment - yes, the one with the bars on the window - enduring hours of pain as I labored to get you up and running on Blogger.

For weeks I couldn't decide on a name, and first called you I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman as a self-deprecating reference to my love for really bad pop music. I intended to make you different than all the other fledgling blogs by changing on a monthly basis the "W" word in your title, but once I hit on "Wino" it just stuck. I don't foresee changing your name again anytime soon.

Like any adoring parent, I have, however, changed your look quite a bit over these 24 months. Given that you were my first site, I started with the simple black template that Blogger still offers at setup.

It became clear to me early on that this did not capture your personality, not to mention would contribute to you getting your ass kicked on the playground much like if I had named you Sheldon, and therefore I felt compelled to change your clothes regularly.

Do you remember your second template? The one with the woman in the martini glass holding that hairy, impaled olive? I do. I almost couldn't sleep the weekend I worked with the designer on that one.

You wore that day in and day out for a year, if you can believe it. Just like that week in college that no one talks about when your mom wore the same black cotton vest out drinking for a week. Then I moved you to one of my favorite templates, the One That Not a Soul Seemed to be Able to Read, which was short lived for that reason alone. Because oh how I loved that stock photo image, even if 16-month-old blogs probably shouldn't wear wine paraphernalia, which I don't think has been scientifically proven as detrimental to later health:

And from there I bounced you to flowers.

Looking back, that may have been more monkey bars ass-kicking inviting than either the generic template or the family name thing. And now here we are.

I think your style fits your personality quite well now. I'm sorry it took me almost two years to get you there.

I think it goes without saying that you and I have been through a lot together. In just 24 months, we've been through a move that involved the Irish brothers carrying a couch up four flights of stairs, a broken heart that your mama thought might break all of her, the addition of Cricket to our growing family of hairy things that walk on us while we sleep, a break, almost a month on the wagon, travel to lands both near and far, a round of layoffs. and lots of pure, unadulterated meanness. We have lost so many online friends to burnout or exposure that your blogroll has been halved in your short life. But the new friends you've brought to my world - most of whom your mama actually likes and is happy to report had no evidence of human heads in their freezers - because oh yes, she checked - outnumber those we might not see again.

Finally, sweet girl, I'm most proud of how much you've grown. I'm proud to say that on most days, your recent content is a little richer and hopefully much better written than in the earlier days. Because I recall many a crappy meme and posting cringe-inducing crap like this and this. Yes, even your mama has bad days and bad nights turning into bad mornings that necessitate the ordering of a Wendy's Single with Cheese - no mayo - and the posting of fluff.

Little Wino, happy second birthday. Know that I couldn't be more proud to be your mother and brag about you at conferences and bars and parties. I just hope you don't grow up to be a Mormon or a carnie or one of them damn gays.

Love,

Mama



50 Comments:

Blogger Phain said...

congrats! i've been reading you for about a year and although i rarely comment, i thoroughly enjoy your writing. cheers to you and here's to another great year :)

Blogger kitkat said...

At least you've gotten all fancy with your blog in two years. I'm still using Blogger's templates :) I remember the black template. I remember when you were only one of a few people on my blog roll. Two years later, you're one of the few who has remained there the entire time. Happy anniversary/birthday!

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I remember the olive girl, but not the basic black template. Hmm. .. And I'm so glad I remembered to take the heads out of the freezer before we met! (they were in the cooler in the car--keeps 'em fine for a couple of hours).

Anonymous zandria said...

Happy blogiversary, Kris! I'll have to go through and read some of those past posts. Quite a ride you've had these past few years. :)

Blogger Lord Fondleberries said...

trashing the gays i can understand, what with their perpetual quest for peace and love, their sensible fashion, incredible culinary prowess, and their unwavering commitment to the gym which consequently results in their fabulously chiseled bodies; but what, pray tell, is wrong with carnies? my blog has been a four-fingered midget (don't call him a dwarf!) carnie nearly all of his now four months in the blogosphere. holy shit, i mean, holly golightly shit, my lil roadside attraction is four months old!

huggin kittens,

lord f

Blogger Wicked H said...

Happy Blogiversary to you!!!

Here's to many, many more - clink!

Blogger candace said...

Oh, they grow up so fast, don't they? Pretty soon this little blog will be sneaking out of the house to meet boys.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Happy birthday, Wino! Before long, you'll be changing your template by yourself by dying it with Kool-Aid.

Blogger Johnny C. said...

I'm not sure whether to say "Congratulations!" or "Happy Blog Birthday!", so I mean both.

Interestingly enough, A Mind Awake turned two on Friday. Does this mean that our blogs are pisces?

Blogger Sizzle said...

i am not sure when i found your blog or how but i'm SO glad i did. thanks for blogging!

Anonymous Alison said...

I kept seeing your blog on other blogrolls, but I only started reading recently. And I have to ask myself WHY I didn't start earlier.

Happy Blogiversary!

Blogger Kelly said...

Cheers to the Winos of DC decent!

May there be many more dates of this nature to celebrate!

(Loved the linkages, Mama, this post was swell!)

Blogger e.b. said...

Newish lurker here - but still wanted to wish you a very happy one. Keep on drinking, er I mean blogging.

Blogger Keith said...

Happy birhtday, blog de vino. And yes I am leaving that spelling intact...I'll raise a glass of chard in your honor later today.

Blogger Firefly Girl said...

I've got a dozen or so blogs I read everyday, and yours is definitely in the top 2 or 3... and sometimes #1, depending on the day! Keep up the good work!

Oh, and I LOVED the 2nd layout. Awesome! :)

Blogger Jenny said...

okay at first I thought you said "I almost couldn't sleep with the designer for the weekend on that one" and I thought, Well! I wouldn't let a little furry olive get in the way of a good weekend and a free website design...

Blogger anno said...

The second template was a lot of fun, but this one puts the focus on your writing, which is what brings me back day after day...

I've enjoyed watching your blog grow up. Happy blogiversary!

Blogger HKW said...

Happy Birthday! Did you open a bottle to celebrate?

Blogger Laurie said...

Happy Blogiversary! Just found you on your second. Sweet.

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

I think I started when it was the olive girl. Do blogs go crazy when in their terrible twos?

Blogger KB said...

Happy Blog Birthday! <-- i love that!


I love it and can't get enough <3

Not half bad, highly entertaining stuff. I still find your judgment on the whole shamrock antlers a little suspect but I'll let most things slide on major (drinking) holidays.

-Badass

Blogger Darbs said...

Happy 2nd Anniversary! Here's to many, many more years of blogging!

CHEERS!

Blogger Lisa said...

Congratulations! Happy two years!

Blogger EDW said...

I love how you did this post...just like I love the "I take pictures every six weeks". When I first found your blog, I showed that to my husband, over-explaining it (he got it without me having to explain) and laughing to myself about it. I love that your sense of humor is apparent when a reader first finds you, and how much you reveal about yourself in so few words, like the title of your blog and this post. Happy Second Blog Birthday!

Blogger Gooseberried said...

Congrats, yo.

Blogger Marissa said...

HAPPY BLOG-BIRTHDAY! it's really fun to look back through all the transitions!

Anonymous Rosie said...

Hi there... I've read enough of your blog by now to be aware that you like to know who your stalkers are, or at least for them to leave a little note so you are aware of the friendly nature of their stalking. So if you've been a little disturbed by the sudden increase in hits from East Asia, that's me, Rosie. I got here through one or another of the dating blogs I read religiously, and was immensely entertained by your writing, humour and general effervescence, so I'm slowly working my way back through the last two years of blogblogblog (sorry it's a funny word and shouldn't be used too seriously).

Voila... now I can resume my reading without feeling guilty =P Oh and I don't have a public blog, hence the lack of a webpage to link you to.

Anonymous Rosie said...

Hi there... I've read enough of your blog by now to be aware that you like to know who your stalkers are, or at least for them to leave a little note so you are aware of the friendly nature of their stalking. So if you've been a little disturbed by the sudden increase in hits from East Asia, that's me, Rosie. I got here through one or another of the dating blogs I read religiously, and was immensely entertained by your writing, humour and general effervescence, so I'm slowly working my way back through the last two years of blogblogblog (sorry it's a funny word and shouldn't be used too seriously).

Voila... now I can resume my reading without feeling guilty =P Oh and I don't have a public blog, hence the lack of a webpage to link you to.

Blogger MKD said...

I'm glad you were born. You make me feel better about myself. You know, like when I compare our lives.

Blogger Evil Spock said...

Two years worth of templates; nice . . .

Anonymous dionna said...

Congratulations! I hope my s/o and I make it to the two year mark! (Our blog that is, we've already made it past two years)
:)

Blogger supergirlest said...

feliz cumpleanos, wee wino!!!

your mommy loves you very very very much.

Anonymous Nocturnal said...

You have definitely come full circle, well done. Happy Blog Birthday, NINjoy.

Cheers

Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

Happy Birthday!

Blogger Mel said...

Holy hell, has it been two years?!? Where does the time go?

I went back and re-read some of those first posts... the ones where I came to know and love you. Gosh, you've come a long way, Mama. I'm so proud of you.

And that black template? Seeing it again is like getting a whiff of an ex's cologne... a wave of memories wash over you.

Yeah, I'm a sentimental cheeseball. And so are you.

Happy Blogiversary! :)

Anonymous Jorge said...

I honestly don't know what I would do without you two.

Y'know..

You and your blog.

Blogger Maethane Boy said...

Me too - or 38! I hope carnie-potty-humor visitors like me are welcome; at least as an example of what not to become in these impressionable years...

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I'm drinking a glass of wine in honor of your twenty-four-month blog and saying a prayer that it doesn't grow up to be a Mormon. *shudders*

Blogger Keith said...

2 years! That's awesome. Keep up the good work - we'll be reading!

Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

Whoo-hoo, baby! Two years is just awesome. I forgot my two year mark, but will have to do something special for the three year.

And when I say "something special", I mean wrestle with some midget clowns and do some blow off a hooker's ass.

Blogger Kristin said...
Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

Ohhh...pea. If she didn't exist I wouldn't have a BFF.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

And...I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!

Blogger Dave said...

I was a big fan of the giant wine bottle header. It was beautiful, and it was so big it actually spilled over on to my co-worker's screen; nay, so big it blotted out the sun. (I'm not just being a dick, I actually really liked it). The current layout isn't too shabby either.

Fantastic two years! Here's to fifty more.

Blogger Laura said...

I caught the pop song reference and thought your title was cute. Really nice post. I couldn't begin to show all my past blog templates. I change at least once a month. Thanks for the visit there. :)

Blogger Momcani said...

I don't care how old she is. To tell the truth, I thought she was older. Must be because she's so mature. I'm just glad I stumbled over you..upon..umm..YOU GOT MAD SKILLS, GIRLFRIEND! Here's to many more.

Blogger sognatrice said...

I've finally gotten around to your place after seeing your link on Guinness Girl's Red Red Whine, and imagine my surprise to see the Red Squares pattern! That had been my template up until about a week or so ago, and I had always been surprised that I hadn't come across anyone else using it as it was just so darn lovely. Anyway, I've revamped a bit, but that's all beside the point...which is...I'm glad I finally clicked over, and I'm very much enjoying getting to know you :) Phew. Now I'm tired.

Blogger deanne said...

Aw - congrats Kris! I wish I was still going as strong - it's really hard to keep it up for so long (so my ex said, nyuk nyuk nyuk) so well done!

Blogger GD|BT said...

w0w! Happy 2nd Blog Birthday!!!
congratulation. even if I don't leave comments as much as your other readers, I do visit and read all your entries from time to time.

Even if it just recently that I found about your blog, I could definitely say that it is quite a treasure worth keeping.

Again, congratulation and the best of luck to come!

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