Got it BAD

Inspired by Megarita who brought the possibility of such a disorder to my attention.

Diagnostic criteria for Blog Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

A. Either (1) or (2):
(1) Six (or likely more, if you're honest with yourself) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for the duration of your time in the blogosphere, to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with the developmental level of other 32 year olds not living at home or working at the post office.

Inattention
(a) often fails to give close attention to TPS reports and other minutiae required by supervisors at paying day job
(b) often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities because of thoughts of those on blogroll (including but not limited to: I bet Jurgen would just love this lip gloss; If I won the lottery, I really would buy Poppy a fountain soda dispenser, I wonder if Neil proposed to Brooke today)
(c) finds self completely unable to read even own 100 things about me post in one sitting
(d) neglects to shower on time at least once a week due to failed promise to stop after reading "just one more blog"
(e) regularly replaces common professional editing marks with LOLs, ROTFLs, and various inappropriate emoticons
(f) often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., "Honey, we can heavy pet right after I finish this entry," and/or "The twins know how to use the deep fryer just fine on their own. Just one more minute!")

(2) Six (or more, c'mon, we're among friends) of the following symptoms have persisted for the duration of your time on Blogger, to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with the level present in your other hobby activities, including, but not limited to scrapbooking, fantasy football, online poker, gardening, and masturbation.

Hyperactivity
(a) often fidgets with hands or feet in meetings, Safeway grocery line, stirrups due to being struck with perfect blog idea
(b) often talks excessively about blogging to friends/family who have no idea what a blog is
(c) often talks excessively about blogging to friends/family who know what a blog is, but who could absolutely not care less
(d) leaves meetings, religious services, movies, ER under guise of restroom use to check on blogs of self and others
(e) at least once a week publishes 1) blog entry with two or more grammatical or spelling errors, or 2) lame, phoned-in entry due to pressure to publish

Impulsivity
(f) often comments on blogs prior to finishing entire entry and/or accompanying comments
(g) bypasses reading blog entry for the day due to it grossly exceeding your 350-word-limit processing capacity
(h) interjects inappropriate blogger content into real-world situations (e.g., Spinning Girl would so call that "FABU!" "Oh my gosh, Mogul has been saying the SAME THING about her pregnancy!" "That same thing happened to Sizzle on her last date" and the ever-popular "Hey guys, Jordan so totally got laid!")
(i) lies needlessly about blogging activity so as not to appear consumed by said blogging activity (e.g., "I'm just checking on that Air Jamaica airline strike," "Phew. Looks like that storm in the Himalayas isn't going to hit us!")

B. The symptoms do not occur exclusively during the course of an evening spent with 750 ml of Chardonnay, a TiVo'd episode of Lost, and a life-sized poster of John Stamos.