July 11, 2006
We are so not on a break (Version 3.51)
It's more and more common in the blogosphere these days; people from our "real" lives make these sites more about them than what we know them to be - cathartic, sometimes completely narcissistic, outlets for our creativity, our joy, our loves and our frustration. On a regular basis I see bloggers closing up shop and releasing new urls only to a chosen few, flipping their shingles to the "Nothing to See Here" message, or going on hiatus to figure out whether or not it is really worth it.

And so it is with me.

The pleasure I get from writing these posts is being tempered by the fact that they can also be used, however innocently, to check in on my life from a distance. I recognize the semantics; I know that technically anyone with Internet access has just as much of a right to be here as everyone else. But this site isn't about everyone else. Just as the email of friends past is theirs alone, as are their phone conversations with family, and their letters and journals, this site is mine. And although I understand that this is a public forum, my intention in spilling details of my life is not to have them peeped from afar by those no longer privy to details via my voice, nor is it to hurt anyone I care about through my accounts.

Don't get me wrong - I dearly love these folks I'm talking about. But this is the bottom line for me, and it may sound harsh but that is not my intention: just as reading someone's personal correspondence is an intrusion, something about people I have known but now am not in contact with witnessing my life unfold just doesn't feel right to me, and truthfully, it seems shouldn't feel right to them.

I refuse to let this site become a collection of nothing more than crappy recycled memes and censored notes on my everyday - which is essentially the direction in which I'm headed (yeah, I can acknowledge it). What has been a haven for me has grown to be a burden as I consider - despite what I hope has been demonstrated for many moons to be good judgment and consideration for those I care about - the impact of each and every word. What about the impact of their presence on me?

I don't want to do this, but I feel like I have to.

So here's my "Nothing to See Here" post. I hope to come back sometime in the next month, but I can't say that for sure. When I do, I can assure you it will be with less frustration and hopefully more of the good that brought most of you to this site in the first place.

Labels:



96 Comments:

Blogger goldennib said...

Everything deserves re-evaluation. Have a great break.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

WHAT THE FUCK????! You call me RIGHT NOW or I'm on your doorstep in hours. Your WORK doorstep.

>:(

What the fuck happened??!

Blogger t2ed said...

As Jurgen put it so eloquently, I'd like to second the emotion.

But seriously, return to posting soon. Even if it's with some bs password functionality.

What you write is great, even if it does make the mistake of being better than mine.

Hope it all works out soon and you're back to your obsessive comment reading.

Blogger jenn said...

Enjoy your break, Kris.

I hope you get the perspective you need and I REALLY hope to see you back soon.

I love your posts.

Blogger wharman said...

I feel sad, but totally get it. Have a great break. You're as good at blogging as David Hasselhoff is rich. That's a lot, so I hope you come back!

Blogger liberalbanana said...

Good for you. If you do come back, perhaps it should be in anonymous form on a new website? We all realize too late that we should have never told X, Y, and Z about our site and then realize that we can't say what we really want to. Without someone hating us, that is. I hate that my ex-friend AND my ex-boyfriend still have my site address and can be reading about my life from afar. And I hate that another girl whose wedding I was a bridesmaid in can read my posts but hardly EVER comments and only responds to my personal emails to her a handful of times each year. It's like a one-sided friendship and I wish I could just turn off my side of it if it's not being reciprocated. But ANYWAY - I know how you feel.

Please keep in touch. :)

Blogger Lisa Ann said...

Can totally relate to your reasons but will miss reading your posts nonetheless. Hope you come back soon.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

gaaaar . . .I hope the break does what's needed, and that you're back sooner rather than later.

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

Yes, enjoy the break bc we won't...but it's understandable. (if that sounded mean, I didn't mean it to be!)

Blogger Amy said...

Hope you return, but understand your departure. I've moved a blog so those "tracking me" couldn't. I'll miss your writing in the meantime.

Blogger Finn said...

I'll miss you like crazy, but I understand.

Hope it's a short break. And I hope you find a way to come back on your terms.

xo

Anonymous Jorge said...

So, if I'm reading you correctly, you burned the toast this morning, and your freezer broke down, thus reducing the freshness of your wardrobe?

Man.

Tough times.

I'll see you soon.

Blogger Penny said...

I hope you come back soon. You are a wonderful writer and I've enjoyed your insights and take on life. I can't promise I won't continue to check the site out at least once a day. :)

Blogger playfulinnc said...

Yep. I may be soon to follow in your steps.

I'm with ya in spirit.

Anonymous Sweet said...

Totally understand!

Blogger Lefty said...

It's hard to blog and not feel over exposed here on the web. It's a difficult compromise to reach - I find that I need some kind of creative outlet (either to create or to comment) but temper my output based on the audience. I'm cool with people knowing my general outlook on life but draw the line at posting kid pics and our summer vacation plans (eg dooce). So, I have different accounts for different audiences - so to speak. Most as anonymous as I can make them. Regardless...

I read you not as a stalker but as someone who appreciates your humor and I will miss that. I hope to see you back soon.

Blogger MKD said...

Boo!

Way to jump on the bandwagon.

Boo!

Blogger Freewheel said...

I think you should come up with an alias, take a picture of your cat for your profile photo, and set up a new, anonymous blog. "I'm not a kitty, not yet a catnip fiend."

Oh, and you should definitely get that bike.

Whatever you do, best wishes.

Blogger Sizzle said...

i miss you already. :(

Blogger Heather B. said...

Expect a call, text and email from me in the next 20 minutes...!!!!

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I've always enjoyed your writing. Hopefully you can find a forum to continue it, if you choose not to stay with this one.

Anonymous whoorl said...

totally understand where you're coming from, but boy am I going to MISS you!

Blogger Brookelina said...

I know of what you speak - been there done that - and considering doing it again.

You have my email, I believe. Stay in touch.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kris, I know exactly what you mean and I hope that if you reappear under a new url you'll keep me posted. As I will you.

I've often thought my blog would have never stopped if I had remained anon. Not that anyone in my "real" life disturbed it in any way. It just becomes a rethinking game on every single post. I got tired.

much love, babyjewels

Anonymous mrs. jorge said...

Hey sunshine!

That's all. I just wanted to say hi and to let you know that I miss you and the kids. LOVED the b-day card!

:)

I'm sure we'll talk/email soon. And in the mean time, I'll enjoy the crazy voice mails that you and Jorge exchange.

later skater.

Blogger mamalujo1 said...

I don't know you in real life. I read you r blog regularly though. I've thought about telling people I know about mine, but I haven't, and I think the reason why is clearer to me after your post here. I only know you through what you show me. You're so funny, and cool, and creative. I don't need to meet you in person, though, and it's way better that I don't anyway. Do I feel like I'm any less interested in you? No. I've got people in my life that know me inside and out, but I still get such a kick out of this medium. Now I will stop rambling.

I will miss reading your stuff. I will miss you. Hope to see you again real soon.

Anonymous Jennifer said...

I really hate to read this, although I feel for you, and can certainly empathize. I hope you will indeed come back soon. You'll be missed.

Blogger ejtakeslife said...

I completely understand your decision, but will very much miss your writing. You're too good to jump on the hiatus bandwagon-- selfish brats like me need our daily glass of Kris!

Anonymous bill said...

Sometimes it doesn't feel right, as you suggest, to read the thoughts of someone I don't know - but on balance it does. You know that what you write here is truly public. I know that I cannot judge you or form an opinion of you based on what you write here because it is incomplete. I do enjoy your sense of humor, and what I know of you from your writings suggests that you're a person I'd like to know in person if I could.

I wish there were a (better) way for you to restrict access to people you know and trust, some way for you to protect those things that ought not be public.

I will miss your writing, and what it reveals of you, but I respect you for protecting what is precious. Thank you for all you have given me, and us, your readers if not your friends.

Blogger Egan said...

Hmmm... I get it. It sucks you have to do it, but it's for your own good. I'm happy to see your readers are mindful of this decision. It can't be easy, but I totally understand why.

I'm going to out myself here. I have a separate anonymous blog along with some other bloggers we keep anonymous. It's great for stuff I wouldn't want to share on my own blog, work, family, etc. Best of luck Kris!

Blogger femme d'espoir said...

best wishes, Kris! it's been fun, and I hope you'll share with us again in the future.

Blogger bandick said...

You know where to find me, not that I'm posting much these days...

Please keep in touch, Krisser. I have enjoyed our electronic friendship!

What the.....

Is it because i haven't been stopping by?
Is this the "it's not you it's ME" speech?

This sucks.

SUCKS I say!

Muy suckito! (That's Spanish!)

OK...I guess....
:(

Call me sometime.

Blogger Nat said...

I am so sad to hear of your "nothing to see here" post. I do wish you well - I hope this is more of a hiatus than anything. You are a truly gifted writer and thinker and your blog is definitely one most admire. Best of luck to you, Kris!

Blogger Megarita said...

Shitola! I've definitely been where you are, but I am BUMMED that you are not writing for a while! Hope things get better--you've got skills, mama!

Blogger Trundling Grunt said...

Well, I have enjoyed reading your blog - thank you for sharing it and hope you do come back soon.

Blogger Chantel said...

Sometimes I wonder if there is anything to see too! So I understand. I hope you come back but I would understand if you didn't

take care

Blogger Marissa said...

I for one will be right here waiting for you when you return (and I hope you do!!). But I respect your choice - I know just what you mean. I have quite a few "peepers" myself and every time I see them on the site meter, I cringe. I know nothing about their lives anymore, yet they know everything about mine. It just doesn't feel right. I wish you well and I'll miss you!

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

I'll be waiting too sweetie. I know exactly what you are talking about and am going through the precise same thing myself.

It.is.hell.

Hang in there, you are the best.

Bridg

Blogger Cheryl said...

Will definitely miss you. I hope you come back soon and don't let these people control this or any other part of your life--like your feelings. Take care.

Blogger missbhavens said...

Well, damn. Damn, damn, damn.

BUT, I totally get it.

Relax. Rethink. Refresh. Regroup.

I do so hope that you'll come back here to Ye Olde Blog, or that if you start anew that you direct little ol' me to your new one.

Mostly I just hope that you're comfortable in whatever you choose. Even if that means keeping all your writing private...

...but for the love of all that is holy, don't stop writing, lady.

Blogger TrappedInColorado said...

This sucks!!!

Come on. Don't go. Don't let the few cause traumatic emotional harm and deprevation to the rest of us!

I read you from afar and simply enjoyed. I will miss you.

Peace

Blogger J said...

I'm not anonymous, and now I'm wondering what to do to avoid getting in these very shoes at some point. Ugh.

We'll miss you. I hope you come back with renewed enthusiasm for this medium, because we love your writing.

Blogger Genevieve said...

I hope you come back.

Anonymous mrsatroxi said...

I will miss you and your wonderful writing.

I hope you come back.

Blogger V said...

Oh sister, there ain't no sunshine when you're gone!

Blogger yournamehere said...

Kris,

I love you and your writing. Don't be a stranger.

Blogger Guinness_Girl said...

WOW. I've gotta second Jurgen's "WTF" comment!

I'll miss you!

Blogger Guinness_Girl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Anonymous Kristin said...

I am sorry to have lost you when I just found you.

Good luck with it all, I can totally understand your feelings.

Anonymous gorillabuns said...

you are one the of the few blogs that keep me wanting more. i love your writing, candor and your sense of humor.

i understand the nagging feeling that someone is watching you from afar, causing you to pull down the shades to hide from said people of whom you thought weren't home but are spying intently. hopefully, you will return.

i'll miss you!

Blogger Keith said...

I hate seeing another one of my daily must read blogs bite the dust. I'm glad you aren't going the route of the private password protected sites. Sorry to see you leaving if that's what you ultimately do.

Anonymous Broady said...

If you don't come back... I've just gotten 5 minutes of my daily life back. Ouch. Please come back !

Blogger twobuyfour said...

Kris it's been a delight to read your blog. I started 6 months ago and somehow stumbled to your site. You have inspired me and amused me. I hope that if you decide to keep writing in some form, I stumble across you again.

When I started I deliberatly kept the specifics of my whereabouts, my kids and my lover to a broad vagueness. My former spouse didn't want me to write about them at all. It's not easy sometimes to keep them from prying eyes, so depending on the activity I simply can't blog about it. It's too bad, too. There was some great material from the camping trip and the school picnic and several others. But I don't want predators to connect the dots.

I never had issue with my former spouse reading the blog. I sent her the address when I started. I knew from the start that I couldn't post anything that was going to get me in trouble.

I guess what I'm saying is I hope you return, because I loved reading your posts. I guess I'm also saying that I understand how we all need some degree of privacy - some veil to hide behind. If you feel yours has become too thin, or people are violating your trust by intruding on your REAL life you absolutely should close shop. You shouldn't be afraid to post.

I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with this person who doesn't respect your boundaries. And I hope that if you ever start a new blog or write a book you'll let me know so I can find it.

Whether you write about it or not, keep living your life. Don't hide from the world. Enjoy those hilarious moments when you realize it's too far to the kitchen table, even if you don't blog about them.

Blogger BabsieD said...

How do I say this without sounding like a melodramatic dolt? Ah, screw it.

You made me want to be a better blogger.

Whatever you do, keep writing--even if not in this medium. You've got an amazing talent--one that would just be tragic if kept all to yourself (for us, anyway).

Blogger Aimée said...

baby girl! I can't believe it. I know this blog means the world to you and that it's not only therapeutic, but an opportunity to make such wonderful new friends, get support from people across the globe, your creative outlet, and a tool that has helped you grow and evolve into an even greater version of my dear best friend and non-sexual soulmate - a feat I thought impossible. You light up when you talk about it, you go out of your way to support other bloggers and to be kind to everyone. You inspire people every day - even those of us who don't always come by as much as we should and when we do we just lurk ... so I know that there must be some pretty serious bs goin' on if you're taking this step.

I love you and totally support you but have half a mind - nay, a whole mind - to beat the ever loving s out of, call-out, and smackdown the reason behind this.

We'll talk later but I'm sending you hugs and kisses and much love, boo.

Blogger afromabq said...

well, i, as one of the many, will keep checking and hoping that you'll get your groove back. do what ever it takes kris because as you can tell, there are many of us who totally love and enjoy your writing. take care!

Blogger Kim said...

You guys know she's just doing this so that we'll all post our "Please don't go" comments.

Comment whore.

Well, here's mine: Please don't go! I need your blogginess!

Blogger Plunky said...

Oh poop! Well, I can relate. I have long suspected that there are a few people out there in the world that I have known but do not speak to(for good reasons!)that look at my blog. It is more than a bit disconcerting and creepy. When you feel good about it again, you'll come back. If not, oh hell, I'll cry.

Anonymous Maliavale said...

I'll miss you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope all's well.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A follow-on to my "Hope all's well" comment...I've never met you, but reading your blog sometimes makes me laugh. :)

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Nnnoooo! Not my number one cat humper!

Blogger Kiki said...

I went through something similar and deleted my blog. I immediately regretted it.

Btw, new one is revolving-girl.blogspot.com

lol

Blogger Leesa said...

kris,

Looks like you posted on my site today - funny thing is that I have not seen you before (I don't think).

I understand about breaks. I have not really taken one, but, I have only been posting since Sep 05.

Anonymous nabbalicious said...

I can relate. There are some things I would LOVE to write about, and would if my blog were 100% anonymous, but I censor myself and it sucks. I feel that I care less than I did a year ago about that kind of thing, but the thought is never far from my mind.

That being said, enjoy your break. I hope you get what you need out of it and I'm sorry this is going on!

Blogger Bill said...

You know, I must have been to this post at least three times, each time ready to comment. And I still haven't. I think this is because I don't agree with you but haven't figured out how to articulate what it is I disagree with. Maybe because I don't know the reason. But I think it has something to do with letting stupid people influence something we enjoy, or at the very least influence something we get something out of.

Well, maybe one of these times I drop by I'll be able to explain it more coherently. Anyway ... stopping something because we simply don't get anything out of it anymore is one thing. Stopping something because the assholes are annoying is another.

Blogger piu piu said...

sounds like you're in exactly the same position i found myself in about 4 weeks ago. it sucks. i hope you get back tho

Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

Unfortunately, I think this is a blog-inevitability for a lot of bloggers. I have the same beeling about my blog. Hope you can come back soon.

Blogger NewYorkMoments said...

Sheesh...F-eeling.

Blogger Washington Cube said...

I stopped writing for a bit because I was overwhelmed with things in my life, and also because I didn't want to be writing those self-censored rehashed crappy events in my life pieces. I wrote a silly review of a bad movie this past weekend, and by God, it felt good to write again. Enjoy your hiatus. We'll be here waiting for you until your return.

Blogger Lena said...

Kris - we ALL deal with this. A nosy aunt googled mt maiden name, found my blog, and within 24 HOURS over 50 people had been emailed the link. Including two ex-boyfriends.

I am furious. My writing has changed. I'm resentful of this position I'm in and am now resentful that you're in a similar one.

Promise to email your audience the new URL if that's the way you go. We won't tell. ;)

Blogger C. said...

I'm sad to hear that...but I understand completely. That's one of the reasons I removed my picture from mine.

I have loved reading your blog and hope that you will send me a link to the new one if that's what you decide to do. Thanks for the comment on mine.

Blogger Egan said...

Sad how you're more popular once you announce a break eh? I'm going to cut off my ear and see if my shit on Ebay sells for more money.

Anonymous FH said...

Although we have never met, I found your site via a link; we seem to be about the same age and I could relate to many of your posts. Your effort is appreciated, but I understand your reasons for closing up shop.

Anonymous Jacynth said...

Ba! Bumbug.....this is no fair. Sucks that people are getting bent out of shape because you're being honest with things. It's really a double edged sword.

Enjoy your break, hope you have many glasses o wine. And when you come back and I've visited another's blog, I can say a la Ross, "But we were on a break!"

Blogger Jessica said...

Hey girl! I can totally understand, but know that I will miss you! Drop in to the blog (never close to the quality you've had all this time!) and say hello, or email me, ok? Take the time, and figure out where you feel right!

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I think you've reached the inevitability that all good writers come to; the more you reveal about yourself, the more open you are to being "consumed" by your readers. The decision you must make is how you handle that, and whether you are able to reserve a piece of yourself that isn't exposed on the page.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Blogger Spinning Girl said...

How perfect that you just got spammed.

Blogger Slade said...

I have so enjoyed reading your blog, and am sad that others have been sneaky--cuz that's what I would call it: sneaky. You are an incredible writer...I have always thought that you should be a columnist or something (I hope this is not making it worse!) I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed your prescence on the blogosphere

Blogger Amber said...

I understand the feeling of having to censor yourself, even if you don't want to -- I've gotten myself into that position recently. I'll miss your hilarity and I hope that you'll come back!!!

Blogger JMai said...

Hopefully by the time you get back, Star will, indeed, be over it.

Blogger Anisa said...

sadness. i will certainly miss you, kris. take care...and hope you'll be back soon!

Yeah, ok....you can come back now.

Without you around I'll be forced to stalk the liberal banana chick or anisa here and NOBODY wants that.

Can't you at least email me and let me know what's up?


Oh, if you wanna tell me what you're wearing that would be ok too.

Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Might I be so bold as to ask if you consider me "notify-of-new-blog" worthy? I miss you.

Amen sister! I face such similar frustration. I thought of creating a new blog, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Anyway, if you happen to change your url, please email me. :)

Otherwise, take care and enjoy your rejuvination break.

Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

so are you saying you're leaving us? Is that what you're say? NOOOOOOOOO!!

Blogger Jessica said...

Honey, I thought of you today. Was shopping for the new house, and saw a seersucker shower curtain, and then when I got back to work was passed by a man in a seersucker suit.

Blogger TJ said...

I think I understand where you're coming from. I've had my finger paused over the "Delete blog" button on more than one occasion--for much the same reason that you've described.

I hope that you're able to get peace of mind with this decision, and look forward to your return-if and when you feel the time is appropriate.

And the good that brought all of us to this site has never gone away...

Anonymous sandra said...

I'm mentally flipping off whoever it was that did whatever it was that caused you to take a break -- but that said, well-deserved. Chill out, figure out what's best for you, and come back with a bang!

Blogger Buffy said...
Blogger jenn said...

Hm. I know it hasn't been even close to a month yet... but I was just... you know... kinda hoping... that you were back...

no pressure ;)

hope you're enjoying your break!

Blogger DC Cookie said...

Oh gosh - hope you still come to happy hour!! :-)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP 1998 lexus gs 300

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer