September 13, 2005
And what if you one of you ends up being like Ross?
Increasingly, I have noted that bloggers are breaking down the walls of Internet anonymity and meeting up face to face. For example, DC bloggers are known to gather for regular blogger happy hours in downtown haunts. This in and of itself doesn't really faze me. I have one good outfit for such occasions, can carry on a semi-entertaining conversation even during my bout of sobriety, and generally do not fear that those with whom I cyber-interact are true stalker material. But I do worry about one simple thing: Would I really like you guys in person?

This concern is not without basis. My beau has a set rule about people saying "You must meet so-and-so's friend. You two are going to get along so well!" Said well-intentioned folk then detail all the ways in which the two men are similar. Same senses of humor, a love for sports, travel, and all-you-can-eat MD crabs. Enter the curse, the surefire way to ensure that the two will not be braiding each other's hair at future sleepovers. Eventually the meeting takes place. And the beau invariably hates him. The same sense of humor ends up being content similar but with a caustic delivery, the love of sports a comparable passion but for opposing teams. Lesson one that sometimes all you are on paper does not translate well in person.

I once met a fellow teen with whom I instantly connected on a high-school retreat. He was warm, intelligent and quirky in the good way. We vowed to keep in touch after our week of bonding. And unlike so many other teens, we followed through. I was overjoyed when his first letter arrived in the mail, written on notebook paper with the fringes still intact. But he sounded different in his letters. Somebody had taken a class in creepy (read: let's talk about guns and the evils of authority and assorted other strangeness) after I waved goodbye from the bus on our last day. And this somebody had gotten an A+. Lesson one that sometimes all you are in person does not translate well on paper.

Oh, don't think I assume that you'll like me. I nap too much, am cranky as all get up when I don't have Diet Coke, and frequently tune out during conversations. I give the evil eye to kids when they make noise in public places (like the park playground). I write a good game but I am not nearly as affable or fun in person. My close friends, family, colleagues, my cats, post office clerks, the ice cream man, the 7-11 cashier, and the kid who wouldn't type in my check card numbers even though I KNOW THE MACHINE WILL TAKE IT can vouch for that.

That said, should we all meet for drinks sometime in October, say, in Kansas?

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72 Comments:

Blogger Brian said...

As dysfuntional as we all are, we'd probably end up hating each other...then again, isn't that what families do???

Blogger Mel said...

As you once said: "We are the same person".

Give kids the evil-eye? Check.
Cranky without the 6am Diet Coke? Check.
Nap too much? Oh hell yeah.
Not interesting in person? Seriously.

I had a glass of wine on Sunday night. I wish you could have had one with me.

Drink is October sound awesome, but I'm afraid you will be totally disapointed. I'm seriously boring :)

Blogger ginger said...

We'd all be trying to login before we could answer each other's questions.

Blogger babyjewels said...

And if you meet in person and don't like each other, would you not want to read that persons blog anymore?

Blogger hillary said...

I don't know. Most people write what they think, right? So even if you come off as boring to people who haven't read your blog, your blog fans will know that you have the potential to be funny, even if you aren't.

Blogger Kim said...

October? I'll have to check my schedule....and start keeping a list of quips, stories and interesting conversation topics.

Next month can I still use, "So, what about that Katrina, huh?"

Blogger Kris said...

Brian - great point - I still hang out with my family, too. Sometimes.

Mel - a few more Saturday nights and I'll be having several glasses of wine. Then I definitely won't be boring (which you are not, either!)

Ginger - and we could type our responses to each other . . . :)

BJ - exactly, and if they were rude to us, would we talk smack about them online?!?

Ingrid - also a good point. Maybe I could bring copies of my best entries to pass out in case I wasn't entertaining . . . this is a good approach . . .

Kim - and we can always talk about how much the Nationals suck. That should hold us.

Blogger Slade said...

I don't care what you say, I think we'd be great soul sistas in the real world...hehe

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I've been pretty surprised at how average/above-average the DC bloggers are. I've been to two happy-hour-type meet-up things so far and have yet to be disappointed or surprised (other pleasantly.)

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

(other *than* pleasantly,) that is.

Blogger Kiki said...

I think people as hilarious as you and me would have to be completely normal and social butterflies.

Okay well, I'm kidding about the hilarious me part but not the hilarious you part.

I'd go if I was in your area though!

Blogger MKD said...

I would like to keep my anonymity for one. I didn’t start a blog “to meet people.” It defeats the purpose of my online surliness and I hate being nice for being nices sake.

Bitch.

Ok, now I feel better. October is great.

Blogger Megarita said...

I do worry that I wouldn't want to read people's blogs if I thought they were lame in person. I'm a judger, yeah, I said it.

This being said, I keep discovering that I inadvertantly know too many DC Bloggers already! Where's the fun? The mystery?

Blogger Robin said...

I am nowhere near as witty and charming in person as I am in cyberspace. Considering my total lack of both traits in any realm, I'd vote for anonymity any day.

Blogger Danielle said...

I'm with your beau. It's kind of like when everyone and their mother tells you you are just going to looooooove such and such movie, and it turns out to be total crap to you. I'm all about low expectations...

Don't expect too much from me Kris. I'm a real comedy of errors.

Blogger Dave said...

Well put. Common logic would be that you should be worried the other person won't match up, but everyone here (and I agree) seems to feel that they'll be a let-down.

Personally, I'm afraid you won't be able to overlook my hump or my lazy eye.

But fear be damned--we'll meet up when you come up this way. (Assuming you're not going to Vancouver. Again, Canada: big place.)

(And here comes the part where someone who really does have a hump or a lazy eye gets indignant and I have to eat it.)

People I've met through my blog usually end up hating me. Ok, so it was only one person. October sounds great, though. I'll even buy a new fanny pack for the occasion.

Blogger Patsy Darling said...

I am in real life as I appear on my blog I'm retarded. I get drunk and act like an ass. I think I'm entertaining. I think my friends think I'm entertaining. I'm not sure what they think actually I'm always too drunk to notice. I can't go to Kansas that's a damn red state.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Couldn't you pick a place to meet that doesn't have flying monkeys?

I don't know if we'd get along or not, but it would be interesting to find out.

Maybe I will one day, and maybe I won't.

Needless to say, I like what I read, and that's a start.

Blogger Kim said...

They don't suck! It's a slump, A SLUMP I TELL YOU!

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

I would be afraid you would find me either extremely too krass and the topic too sexually oriented, or that you would find me completely boaring....

Blogger Sizzle said...

i've always wanted to go to kansas. :)

Blogger DC Cookie said...

I think knowing the person you're commenting to/about adds a little spice to what you can write. I'm all for the in-person meet-ups. But then, I like everybody...

Blogger Jamy said...

If you like someone's blog, you are unlikely to dislike them in person. You can fake certain things in person, but you can't fake much in writing. There are bloggers who you might like MORE in person--those who don't post often or who don't reveal much--but less? I doubt it.

Blogger t2ed said...

Don't ever meet your crushes from afar. I got to meet the girl I pined for in college at a "Screw Your Roommate" Dinner. (Our college dorm floor had each roomie set the other up on a dinner date. You could be mean or nice; luckily my roomie and I were cool to each other).

But let's just saw she chewed gum with her wine and leave it at that.

Worship from afar instead....

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Perfect! Kansas is very convenient for me.

Blogger Jodi said...

I've often wondered about that too. There are a few of my readers that I know we would never have anything to talk about and a few with whom I could be best friends. But we would all be polite.

Blogger deanne said...

Bollocks to Kansas, let's all meet in London instead!

Todays Word Verification: neamvavv.

It's just so much like a real word.

Blogger Neil said...

I like cranky people.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I think my problem is the opposite-- I would really figure that once everyone met me, my in-person personality would make up for the many days that my blog is not clever or interesting. So when people realized I'm actually not that cool in person, my ego would be crushed on so many levels. But at least I'd be in close proximity to alcohol at the time.

Blogger Shawn said...

I'll just plan
on not liking you then and then I can be pleasantly surprised.

In fact, I'm just gonna figure that this blog is all a ruse -- you're really a skinny, 22-year-old guy with stringy hair that does telemarketing from a dingy basement...you sell electric mobility carts to seniors...you hate old people...the carts have a life-time warranty but the company has gone bankrupt and changed names seven times already...you sometimes spend weekends at LAN parties playing Unreal Tournament...the only time you've been to a sports bar lately, you siddled up to a table and started cheering along with them, but then accidently cheered when their quarterback threw an interception for a touchdown...

God, I hope that's not true...I would feel like a real dope.

And Jorge, it's okay about the flying monkeys. They actually pooled their money after the movie and bought some land north of Santa Barbara where they founded a winged-monkey commune. They remain close friends with some of the Munchkins who often come over to talk about the old days. They're still a little bitter that mainstream Hollywood never accepted them...So, Kansas is safe...boring...but safe...

Blogger JordanBaker said...

Benefits of in person meeting: no fucking word verification--which is really hard if you're drinking.

Drawbacks of in person meeting: you all learn that I actually look nothing at all like Katie Holmes.

Hm .. . .

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

Your face isn't horridly scarred by herpes?

Oh. Poo.

Blogger Washington Cube said...

That guy in the computer monitor hit on me, Jordan. What's up with that?

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I often wonder this very thing. I think I would like some of you, hate others, & feel ambivalent about the rest. Just like "real" life.

YOU, of course, would be my FAVORITE.

Blogger Wicked H said...

I've pencilled you in. Have your people call mine.

Ha!

Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

I personally find it fun and entertaining. I've changed my mind about a lot of bloggers - mostly for good - after getting to know them in person. At a minimum, the in-person experiences have added depth to the online ones.

But I'm biased.

Kris, I agree.

You wouldn't like me in the "real" world.
You'd be disappointed.

For one.....I'm not much of a Jerk at all.
I am not good at ANY trades let alone ALL of them.

I'm really a short, EXTREMELY attractive, smart, yet NOT sexy woman.

I'm left handed and I LOVE zuchini.

I'm not anything like my blog.

Sorry.

Plus your "sobriety" thing is just crazy talk.

Jerk NO likey.

Blogger katie's brain said...

No meeting! No good can come of it! Bloodshed will surely follow and the next thing you know, you have a bloggers in jail story and you'll be featured in a Lifetime movie starring Valerie Bertinelli as you! ;-)

I'm not worried. If I meet any of you people, I plan to be so drunk on red wine that I'll forget it all the next day anyways.

Blogger sassyassy said...

Can we just do lunch? Drinks imply an intimacy, a comradeship...and I don't know if I can handle that intensity outside of the blogger world.

Blogger Sean said...

The advantage of attending one of these things is the ice is well broken. Fine. I still think starting the "bloggerazzi" is a good idea. Someone should try to pull it off, just for the heck of it.

Blogger Poppy Cede said...

Kris, I'll be hosting my parents at my house in October. Could we shoot for February instead? :)

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

well if you match up with MEl you match up with me too except for me it's coffee or diet coke.

I write like I talk (i.e., I speak smart-ass ALL THE TIME).

I think we'd get along famously. Especially if tequila is involved!

Unfortunately I"m nowhere near D.C., being 'beached' in the great white north.

But man the spirit's there!

Bridg

Blogger LBseahag said...

This was a great point to bring up...long time ago i used to buy music stuff on ebay from a guy whom sounded so cute in email and even better on the phone...i person, he sucked, and somehow managed to conceal the lisp over the phone...
i was talking to this blogger phats the other day about having a blog party in MO at a Holiday Inn...hey, the little people do it!!!

Blogger yournamehere said...

Most people who meet me are terribly disappointed. I don't care, but I'm sure they do.

Blogger Miss Penny Lane said...

Well, I'll be there tomorrow with some non-Blog friends, as well. Hope to see ya, but if not, I won't hold it against ya! ;)

Blogger Candace said...

I, too, give the evil eye to noisy children.

And I have two of my own.

I'm mean.

Blogger oregano said...

I finished my evening with a glass of chilean wine. I have three words for you.

neener neener neener

Ah, I love it. Everything you type is true.

My problem is that I'm as weird and off putting in person as I am when I write, except worse because in person there are the hand gestures. Oh, the hand gestures!

Blogger Jeremy said...

I am comment #50. Do I win a prize?

I have no strong desire to meet anyone in the blogworld. I kind of like knowing them just as text and rants and an occasional vacation photo. I say, raise up that internet veil!

... with some exceptions, of course.

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

I just met two fellow bloggers at my birthday party and was very happy that they were, in fact, normal and seemed like people I would have hung out with outside the blogosphere. Also, I apologize for saying "blogosphere." So I'm up for drinks in October. Kansas is a little far for me, though.

Blogger Lauren said...

I'm a DC blogger. Please invite me to the next get-together!

Also, just wanted to introduce myself because I have been reading your blog lately. You can check me out at www.writeongrrrl.blogspot.com if you feel like it.

Best of luck in your sobriety. I'm rooting for you.

Blogger Johnny said...

"i might like you better
if we slept together"

Blogger Candace said...

"Johnny, are you queer, boy?
Johnny, are you queer?"

Sorry, that's the first Waitresses song I ever heard and it's the first one that pops into my head whenever anyone quotes a Waitresses song!

And it was Johnny! How could I resist?

Blogger Johnny said...

im the sixth queer eye.

guy.

whatever.

not really.

Blogger Heather B. said...

Wait...there's regular DC blogger happy hour?!?! How does one get invited to such a thing? And how sad am I that I've never been invited. :-( I'm going to cry about this now.

Blogger Jenny said...

i thought about this too when all the LA bloggers got together for happy hour and then several wrote about it after the fact. they said they had fun and it was interesting to put a face to a name. i'd be down for it, even in Kansas!

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Yeah, let's meet at the Starbucks in Kansas.

Blogger Miladysa said...

Erm ... I feeling kind of left out, could UK bloggers drop by if they were passing?

Blogger oregano said...

Come to think of it, I have yet to find a single Columbus blog other than my blog father, Hell in a Handbasket. At least Poppy is from Ohio.

Blogger LBseahag said...

It would never be a complete party if there were no Brits in attendance...
you have given us so much:
1)Simon Cowell
2)crumpets
3)An accent that dumbass people like Madonna, Jerry Hall, Gwynyth and Caprice picked up...you can keep all of them!

Blogger Marel Lecone said...

Great post. I'm good on the phone, if I'm in a good mood. I'm pretty good one-on-one. All other times, forget about it. I'm also cranky. I nap alot. And, I don't usually say this, but I do find myself tuning out other conversations. The only difference, I give my own kids the evil eye. :) haha

Blogger Meg said...

Well, despite the fact that I'm only 20 minutes from DC...

My best friend lives in Kansas, so that could probably be arranged. LOL

Blogger Brookelina said...

I wonder about the same thing!!! I actually have a little "blog crush" now, (I'm not saying who!!) but I doubt I would ever actually meet him! Too funny. However, I would love to meet some of my fellow bloggers for drinks. What a hoot that would be.

Blogger Lauren said...

when meeting someone that has been described as "just like me" I go into competitive mode and want to be sure that I am the better me. I want people to laugh at my jokes, not beat me to my own punchline

Blogger Keith said...

I'm a Baltimore blogger and we don't do shit together, hon, and that's the way we likes it.
Actually now that I write that, I'm struck by an odd twinge of jealousy. Who is organizing the DC blogger group? How often do you get together? Maybe we in B-more should be bonding over some Natty Bo's. Did I say twinge? Nevermind, it was just gas.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

But I met you! IN PERSON! And OMG, you are so totally affable and fun. (And adorable!)

Thanks for a great time at BlogHer Kris, you're the best :)

Erika

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Blogger honeykbee said...

Another major drawback? No spellcheck.

Blogger Sizzle said...

i'm so glad i read this as the days draw near to the TequilaCon blogger "conference" this weekend in Portland.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

"I nap too much, am cranky as all get up when I don't have Diet Coke, and frequently tune out during conversations. "

This is why we're good roommates and such good friends.

Just saying.

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