March 8, 2006
Thelma, Kris and Louise
I have spent the last two weekends with great girl friends. (Nay, gal pals. The word “girlfriend” seems to imply that we plant hyacinth together and share recs for calcium supplements.) These are down-to-earth, take-life-by-the-chops, put-up-with-my-antics gal pals.

This isn’t like me. I don’t do large groups of people for extended periods of time. Particularly new people. I have been known to dart to the bathroom for some damn alone time, already or to volunteer to be the one to run out for ice/formula/paper clips just so I can hear myself think. I recall an ill-fated large gal pal excursion to the beach; you know the type, the one where you pack your entire sorority and the Keebler elves into a waterfront shack to keep costs in the cents. I thought I would die. Girls here. Girls there. Jo was jealous of the attention Meg was getting; Amy followed Beth around much to the chagrin of Marmee. Too. much. togetherness. makes me. feel smothered.

Female friends have also burned me in the past. I put more time into that friendship with stupid Maureen McCheatsalot* than I did into 8th grade math, and when I saw her walking down the hill holding hands with my beau, I was suddenly Molly Ringwald without the happy ending. Forget the more routine female failures: the acquaintances you have met 18 times but they just can’t place the face, the friends who sabotage your growth in insidious ways virtually beyond detection, the ones who have been around for years but have never found even minutes to ask a question about YOU.

And so it was refreshing to like waking up in the morning to the sounds of the girls giggling about the events of the night before. It’s rewarding to sit monumentside in the Sentra with your hangover and your hazards on to assist a good friend following her photography passion. To share your skinny clothes with a friend you know will love them until you fit into them again. To scare a new friend into thinking the human head jokes might actually be true.

I enjoyed every moment of the missed calls, Thai food, Bug beckoning, Cricket’s self-pimping, pizza, laughter, corner store runs, hubcap purchases, chunky milk, delayed elevators, Injera as a facial, shared towels, moisturizing your situation, foot shredding, intimidating tripods, failed air mattresses, and even the hugs goodbye. I nearly wept upon finding the remains of the vanilla vodka in the freezer.

Maybe I’m not so bad with women after all.



* Names have been changed to protect the identities of dim high school friends who stole boyfriends of this blogger.


45 Comments:

Blogger kitkat said...

Wow, am I really the first one to comment? It's been months since that happened :)

I'm finding comfort in female pals these days too. It can be refreshing, but I also will be the first one to leave a large group gathering. To quote Marcia Brady: "I ... need ... air."

Blogger Washington Cube said...

I envy you the quality time and fun with friends. This month has not been kind to me. I've got Grey Goose and Raspberry Absolut in the freezer, myself. Doesn't every respectable woman have freezer vodka? :D

Anonymous whoorl said...

Sounds like you had such a great time. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall...a big, preggers fly on the wall, but ya, whatever.

Blogger Sizzle said...

i can't imagine having a bad time with you. evah!

;) sizz

Blogger Melissa said...

I wonder are we becoming better chosers of friends, or are we just coming to terms with let downs?

Are my friends better people, or am I a better person?

As with most things it is probably a bit of both...still man stealing is never okay.

It seems that junior high is really the forum where you learn that. If I had a nickel for every gal I know who got stabbed in the back in junior high....well my school was pretty small. I might have a dollar.

Blogger Danielle said...

I wonder if Maureen McCheatsalot knew Maureen McSpreadARumorThatIWasALesbian?!?

Blogger Daniel B. said...

They might not be so dim... watch your back when walking down dark streets?!?!

Blogger babyjewels said...

good girlfriends are priceless. glad you had fun.

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Agree with the other bj up there, good gal pals (I use that term too for the same reasons!) are priceless. And hard to find.

Gee, wonder if we knew the same women in our earlier lives???

Blogger Jasclo said...

I totally know what you mean. I get apprehensive in big groups of girls too. I usually find it's easiest to just go with the flow.

You were the perfect hostess.

I can't get the image of the foot grating out of my mind. Yeeee.

P.S. Hope the leak has been cured.

Blogger Jess Riley said...

Aw, now I miss my old girl friends. But not Stacy McBackstabber or Irene I'llignoreyoutodayonawhim.

Down to earth is a must.

Blogger Shel said...

Thankfully I live with two of the best friends a girl could ever have, but such was not the case two years ago when I lived with Riley McHasSexWithHerBoyfriendInOurSharedDormRoomWhileISleptInTheNextBed or last year with the Three Shut Ins. I love my roomates now and cherish our time together, but it also makes me realize how easily things can change.

Blogger Maliavale said...

I'm reveling in the girlfriendness lately, too, especially with the very smart and kind and thoughtful and humourous ones I'm surrounded by of late. Yourself at the top o' the list!

Blogger Poppy Cede said...

Aww, Kris, you've made me teary-eyed. Thanks for posting this so that I could pretend I was there, too. I'm going to the blogfrence Stacy plans even if it kills me!!! I can't wait to meet everyone.

And, that bit about the bathroom, and the beach, and the friends who never ask anything about YOU - you're speaking directly to me. :}

Blogger Heather B. said...

You must moisturize the situation to maintain the sexy.

Never forget that.

I kind of want to put your friends in my pocket and carry them around with me. And drink with them of course.

;-)

Blogger afromabq said...

i still hang w/3 of my high school "gal pals." actually, i think they're my soulmates. i can't imagine my life w/out them. even our children now love each other as much as their moms love each other. keep the good ones-there's nothing better.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

I'm still shouting Harry Caray, still thinking about waking up Saturday with Aim sandwiched between us and singing your shower song, "Good morning, I am Mama Likey!" Why am I singing that in MY shower?!

And, uhhh...Heather B.? You're my friend and I'll hang in your pocket anytime.

Moisturize your situation, all.

Blogger Amber said...

I love my time with the girls, although, like you, I value my alone time.

And who knows -- maybe I WILL find a "dare to be great situation" in D.C. Then we could hang out or not hang out in the same town!

Anonymous Jorge said...

Whatever will you do with US?
I am very excited.
You are now, have been, and always will be, a hotspot.

Blogger Guinness_Girl said...

I completely know what you mean. Whenever I get together with my Elvis girls I feel teary at how great they are.

Sigh. Good friends are great.

Blogger J said...

Oh, I envy. My bestest friend is coming to visit tomorrow, from 3000 miles away, and what I always want, and never get, is time alone with her. No hubbies or kids. Just too mean to tell them to go away for awhile, since they don't really know each other that well. I would love a weekend with her, just to hang out and get into each other's rythem again, like in 10th grade. Sigh.

Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Thank you again for the jacket! I've been wearing it constantly and getting TONS of compliments. You rule, sistah! I can't wait to do this with all of you again really soon.

Blogger ColoradoCastaway said...

Maureen McCheatsalot sounds like a real winner and I'm not thinking much of the beau in question either. It does take two after all. I've never abided by cheaters. I once tried to help out a friend of mine who was having "issues" with his girfriend. He immediately thought I was sleeping with her and promptly punched me in the face. so much for trying to help.

Anonymous sandra said...

Good girls are hard to find...but when you do, they absolutely kick ass.

Blogger Chantel said...

finding my 3 best friends after the age of 25 was the best thing that every happened to me. We are the four directions or the 3 degrees of Virgo whichever we want to call it. I always thought women were too difficult too but they made me change my mind, basically because we're all sorta "dude-like". But I will never forget my friend Ms. McSuemefortheclothesigaveyouaftershefailedtostartahugefamilyfight.

Don't worry, the judge tossed the case out of court.

Blogger Carolyn said...

I was always better friends with guys growing up. They were less petty and catty then girls and I just related better. Now that I'm older, I have more girl friends (gal pals). I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm married now, less competition between us, and the fact that we've outgrown our childish pettiness. It's actually kind of weird to me that I can actually be girly, instead of just one of the guys. Sounds like you have a great group of friends.

Blogger Cheryl said...

When you find a good group of gal-pals it is worth it. It's unfortunate that people like Ms McCheatsalot are out there, but am glad you found these friends instead. Wish I could have been there. If I was, there wouldn't be an vodka left to find!

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Hi, just stopping by to say I have been sick & not into reading, but next week when I am on vacation I will come back & read all I have missed! xoxox SG

Blogger Bill said...

Reading this post reminded me of some of the anthropology books I’ve read. You know the ones – they talk about strange lost cultures from deep in the Amazon and the curious tribal practices they have.

I think that business of sharing the skinny clothes was something the ancient Celts use to do. (Or maybe it was the skinny wives – it’s been a long time since I read that book.)

Blogger Brookelina said...

I think I need to have a sleepover. With pillow fights. And crank calls. And dipping hands into warm water.

Blogger LBseahag said...

women are vicious...

can I have your ex's phone number?

Blogger playfulinnc said...

Women can be very vicious when it comes to work and men. Otherwise, there's nothing better than time with someone who loves you no matter what pant size you're in.

The minute I get a freezer, I am putting Vodka in it just incase you want to be my friend.
:)

Blogger NARDAC said...

1. What does moisturize the situation mean?

2. I was Maureen McFartsalotbutblamesitonyou in another life.

3. Gal pals, fruit flies, boy buddies and gay boyfriends are where it's at.

Blogger Egan said...

Kris this is a fantastic post. You have a gift for painting amazing stories with your words. Merci beaucoup.

Blogger amanda said...

Kris- I totally relate to this post. For years, I had one best friend, and we both agreed that we totally hated friendships/too much time with other women (besides each other) b/c we had the backstabbing, s-talkingness of girl relationships. We've both made a few good friends as adults and things seem to be changing for us now.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I know just what you mean. I need a good balance between girl time and me time. I'm glad that you've found that balance! Sounds like fun.

Anonymous janet said...

I totally hear ya on the girl time...I will now admit that one of my fav girl time activities is having one of them pluck my eyebrows.

ps thanks for stopping by my blog -- love yours!

Blogger missbhavens said...

"...injera as a facial..."
Loving. You.

I think it takes us till adultfood to appreciate true friendship. When we are children and teens we take the idea of a "best friend" for granted...

Blogger Bill said...

I'm not a wino! Not yet a girl ...

You know, two things strike me. 1) your blog title has a sexist tone to it, 2) people should not blog after imbibing Cabernet Sauvignon.

I think we can all agree on those two points.

Blogger Biscuit said...

I never had many women friends. I just couldn't handle all the competition and pettiness. At the age of 38 I finally found a group of women who are loving, supportive, and hilarious to be around. My whole view of women friendships has changed.

Blogger Bookhart said...

The older I get, the more I love my gal pals. All the weird rivalry that happens in high school and your early 20s completely fades away when you meet like-minded women in your 30s--now it's all about finding connections and being honest and enjoying each other's company.

I couldn't do without goils.

Blogger On top of my game said...

I have found my blogger soul mate. Your blog makes me laugh, I wanna be like you! The pressure is on.

Blogger kimmay said...

we had a great time with you kris! let's try to get together more often so that sprint can interfere with our ability to actually see each other. love you!

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