January 3, 2007
I can't understand why Bug runs away when I try to braid his hair
Yeah, so I'm pretty sure I have no idea how to spend down time. Most of my people were out of town for the past two days, otherwise occupied, or keeping a safe distance from Kris: Outbreak Monkey, so I was alone a good bit. And suffice it to say I was pretty gosh darn bored. Should I have had any visitors to the abode they would have noted that I accomplished a lot - read: the bathroom sink no longer bears those strange stains and the little ones' nails are clipped and quite possibly polished - but rather than pen a Pulitzer-worthy piece or a meh post for either Web site to which I'm hopelessly devoted, I engaged in, among other things, the following:

-- Spending a good amount of time trying to dislodge tuna from the no man's land between my throat and my nose, forced there by an unexpected cough;
-- Watching a ridiculous number of episodes of the Office and Arrested Development and Body of Evidence and House and I should probably stop there;
-- Sleeping;
-- Reading old issues of Wine Spectator and most chef bios on the Food Network Home Page;
-- Napping;
-- Avoiding Constitution Avenue due to my aversion to both traffic and dead old people;
-- Baking brownies and then actually cutting them into the shapes of cats and stars.

In the 7th grade, my mother working and me many moons from a valid New Jersey driver's license, I spent a summer at home with only sporadic play dates and trips to the town pool. I read almost a book a day for those few months. During that time the smut lover in me was a sponge for the Young and the Restless (a pasttime I apparently reacquired during the recent illness with no name). I also ate my weight in Ellio's pizza given my mother's absence from the house and my complete disinterest in firing up a pan to warm up Steak Ums. And I was perfectly content.

So I'm left wondering what could be so different at 33, with the clear exception of the valid driver's license and the use of tampons.

The irony is not lost on me. When I am running ragged I absolutely beg for time in the quiet. If I could just sit down for 20 minutes and watch a movie or the 80 things I have recorded. I haven't seen my parents in a week and haven't dusted the bedroom in at least 12. Do the cats even have any litter and when did Cricket start drinking wine?

But when all those things are taken care of, then what?

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38 Comments:

Anonymous Kelly said...

When all those things are taken care of, then you should... s'explore the neighbo(u)rhood?

I heard somewhere that you'd like to maybe one day start jogging/running. You could explore the 'hood while starting a fun new activity!

Or, you could, you know, become the creepy neighbor lady who freaks everyone out by talking to herself, quite aloud, about the grrrrreat! time she had with the pillow last night... and how it maaay just call her in the morning.

But the running thing may be better. but that's just me. (It's crazy how quickly it can eat up your time, in a good way!)

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I've watched an entire season of Arrested Development, several 2 hour Poirot movies, everything my DVR DVR'ed in my absence, and more episodes of the various specie of Law & Order than I care to admit recently. I'm with you.

Anonymous janet said...

oh my I can tell you and I would have a very good time hanging out. Especially with the cat-shaped brownie thing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so uncommon for us to take time to be still that it becomes really unnerving. I have had to take walks and read a LOT recently. But you know? I've gotten kinda used to it now . . . thinking this reading and playing stuff is a bit more fun than working . . . hmmmm...

Blogger Amber said...

I feel your pain. I was snowed in alone this weekend and was more bored than I've been in a long time. It's interesting that I'll spend hours watching t.v. when I'm ABLE to leave the house, but when I can't? I just want to leave so badly and t.v. is boring. I'm a weirdo. A rambling weirdo, apparently.

Blogger kevin said...

What I would give to have a day of nothing but my own solitude. Does it make me a bad father if there are days when I wish I didn't have a kid? Does it make me a bad husband if I occasionally long for the days when I was sans spouse?

Please enjoy these times for those of us who can only live vicariously through you. It's like needing to eat everything on your plate because there are starving kids in Africa or something. Yes, I'm ure it's like that Africa kids reference.

You never got dressed, right?

Please, tell me you never got dressed.

Well, I assume that playing with dolls is now out, yes? That's what I did until I was coughthirteencough. That, and dream up entire civilizations and religions (for which I would be a goddess) and compel my younger sisters to act them all out with me.

Now, I watch entire seasons of Buffy at a go.

Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Man, your weekend sounds like my dream. Except, I think I'd cut my brownies into the shapes of letters and eat them in alphabetical order.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your situation is truly one of life's biggest conundrums... or is it a paradox? I suffer from the same affliction and often chalk it up to a 'the grass is always greener'thing...

So, are you feeling better?

Blogger Kris said...

AHHH! The beauty of not being alone in your feelings!

Jenn, I think it's actually both, but I'll let the wordsmiths chime in on this one. And yes, I am finally better - thanks! I'm knocking on wood with crossed fingers and toes as I type this . . .

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd go conundrum. A paradox implies an impossibility or a contradiction. "I won't live right until I worked myself to death." That kind of thing. That’s four years at the University of Windsor talking, people. U of W: Canada's Southernmost University. (That's actually the slogan.)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having gone through the exact same experience lately, I think that if you're starting to feel bored, it means you're getting better.

The difference between childhood boredom and adult boredom is undoubtedly that we had time to discover good sex and/or good wine and/or a crowd of party people in the meantime. And then, to save our sorry souls, came blogging.

Blogger Kris said...

Dave has spoken. I fear I may have been voted off of his Canadian island.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching the Food Network actually causes time to speed up. It's been proven by researchers at Duke University.

Oh, and the last 2 minutes of any sporting event with a clock to slow down. It's how Duke wins all those games.

Blogger k said...

Focusing on the important issue here -- what color did you possibly paint your little ones' nails?

I would love to do the same to my boys, aside from the fear that their talons might accidentally dislodge one of my eyeballs...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My problem is that I live a slothful life, yet I never get bored of it. Or do very rarely. I never accomplish anything, and yet only feel bad about it when I tell others.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

EVERYONE"S SICK!

FELL BETTER!

Anonymous Jorge said...

Constitution Avenue traffic is due to the dead old people.

I think what you need to do is start a blog with an alternate personality. That would be cool.

I would read that and love it just as much as I love your current blog.

Also, you could attempt to walk to Ottawa for Dave's movie marathon next weekend.

I mean, that should tide you over in terms of things to do. Just bring your ipod and some depends, and you'll be good for all emergencies.

Blogger Beth said...

Speaking of Young & the Restless... what's up with Colleen and Professor Korbel sleeping together??? What a pair of skanks!

And, Dave, "U of W: Canada's Southernmost University. (That's actually the slogan.)" You CAN'T be serious!!!

Anonymous Kate said...

"When I am running ragged I absolutely beg for time in the quiet."

I completely understand! It's funny how my friends who are still in college don't understand how I'm so exhausted all the time.

Blogger Sizzle said...

i was doing pretty much the same thing as you the past few days except i didn't choke on tuna.

i've always been restless, even when i was young. i don't do sitting still very well.

now i want to know, did you ever read those couples series books when you were a preteen?

Anonymous maliavale said...

I used to watch so much "Flintstones" when I stayed home sick, because they played it all day long, one after another. Is that still on?

I find a similar thing happens to my lists. I feel rushed to get things done, and then every now and then, there's nothing. !!! And so then I resort to my "to do someday" list. Yep, I have one of those. It includes such exciting items as papering my kitchen shelves and painting an old chair. Rock.

Then again, there's always reading and knitting.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

Apparently "then" is when you e-mail me about your poop.

I'm just saying.

JESUS IS LORD!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never seen so many posts about doing nothing. So I will add another.

Boredom brought us to this place - no I don't mean cosmically- I mean it brought us to the Internet. So, consequently I love boredom, the internet and HGTV (hours can go by in a flash, hours I tell you) and you get lots of good ideas, (mostly how to make things out of other things) which you can try yourself when next you find yourself without much to do.

Blogger erin said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/03/dining/03pour.html?em&ex=1168059600&en=cb8732be036577e4&ei=5070

thought of you...and those wino ways...here's to you kid!

=)
erin

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If only I could have just one day to myself. Ah, freedom. So elusive now.

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Blogger Cheryl said...

It is amazing how we want free time to do stuff until we get it. Although the Office and Arrested Development and the rest are good diversions.

Oh, Steak-Ums! I remember those!

Blogger Mood Indigo said...

I was home sick yesterday and The Office was my only solace. The Office is never a waste of time :)

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