December 26, 2006
Kris’ totally secular reaction to what one reporter wore to the birthplace of Jesus (OR What's that Cat Doing in that Hat?)
Under the weather this Christmas, Kris battled a cold,

So she watched TiVo’d House and 48 Hours of old.

Correspondent Ms. Maher tracked Jesus’ birth,

Her bad choice of fashion lent Miss Kris some mirth.

Now how does one choose what to don for the Savior?

Kris recreates our reporter’s buying behavior:

Isn’t it exciting?!?” to her colleagues she said.

I’m going to where He first lay his sweet head!”

Now to bigger things, “what in the world should I wear?”

To the big three-tiered mall Ms. Maher did tear.

There was Hecht’s and a Macy’s and clothes shops galore!

Where should she start? Who still made clothes of yore?

Nordstrom offered reserved linen pants with a top,

Victoria’s Secret and Bebe most certainly flopped.

In Wet Seal a crop Ms. Stefani would just adore!

But she did not want the Father to think her a whore.

To the third floor she made it! Ann Taylor might help?

At the bright pinks and purples she let out a yelp.

Onward to Abercrombie - her final great hope!

Those small sizes left her clutching the end of her rope.

Was there no place that made the right clothes for this meeting?

Through her velour jogging suit she could feel her heart beating.

Then she rounded the corner – it was Gap, what a goodie!


"This is wrong! It’s atrocious!" Kris screamed from her couch,

The birthplace of Jesus and she’s dressed like a slouch!

An outfit one might wear to a basketball game,

Was apparently good enough for our Lord just the same.

So note to self, dear readers, when visiting the manger

To simple good conduct do not be a stranger.

One hopes she might read this and feel some chagrin,

For those sans good taste there’s no room at the inn.


Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

Oh Abercrombie,
how I love thee.

Kris, I never knew you were such a master of poetic prose!

Blogger Wicked H said...

Blasphemous! I totally agree.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Seriously, everyone needs to dress like a Shepherd.

It's true!

Plus, it depends if you're visiting the Jesus where the Beckhams play the part of the foster parents of the Almighty.

THEN there is a lot more reason for flash and glitter.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Christopher Marlowe!

Happy Holidays, Kris!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it! You are brilliant.

Blogger Marissa said...

HAHA! There are no words...Hi-Larious, Kris! (and atrocious all at the same time)! Happy holidays!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This might just be the most hilarious post ever! Thanks for the smiles!

Blogger Cheryl said...

You poem is hilarious and just a bit wacky.
Appropriate for an outfit that sounds way too tacky. ;)

Blogger Brookelina said...

You are a gigantic talent. But please, no Abercrombie - not if you are over the age of 16. It's too disheartening.

Anonymous zandria said...

That's hilarious! :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is the best work, which I ever ve seen Everything is so harmonious, that even such aggressive critic as I would not be desirable to change anything!
- a
spaghetti alla carbonara

Blogger TJ said...

I think this post will give "The Night Before Christmas" a run for the money as the new holiday classic for next year...! lol

Happy New Year's, Kris--hope 2007 is filled with more laughter and contentment.

Blogger Nancy Drew said...

Happy, beautiful 2007, Kris ((((((((hugs)))))))))

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