March 19, 2006
Songs in the Key of Old Woman
I haven't posted in days, mostly because I have been so Long Duck Dong tired and couldn't raise my head above the keyboard. There are weeks when I feel like I have caught again that malaise that hit me in college (only eating Froot Loops and Ramen noodles + exercise limited to walking to the vending machine adds up to wanting to stay under your pink XL twin JC Penney comforter for the week).

I went to my first DC Blogger happy hour (thanks to a wonderful planner) on Wednesday night. There are a few choice obs from the event that I made a mental note to share with you prior to/during consumption of much too much house Chardonnay:

1) DC Bloggers are hot. Not like normal, Bell-curve hot, but hot like "Lost" hot. If all of these bloggers were to be stranded on Roosevelt Island, unable ever to make it back to the mainland of Virginia, the world would not want for beautiful, talented, boozing writers.

2) Despite what people try to tell you, the green stuff in mojitos isn't really kelp. Stupid spinach.

3) I'm embarrassed as to how many of these DC talents never made it on my blogroll. There are so many excellent sites out there, more than I can keep up with. I have a good bit of a hreffing to do when I feel I'm awake again.

4) Thank God Heather B. showed up. The look of horror on her face convinced me a) that it probably wasn't cool to take off with the band's tambourine, b) that my dance moves aren't as smooth as I pictured them to be, and c) that we might want to catch a cab home before a fellow cutie blogger snapped incriminating pics to post to the Internets. Moral: Always trust a woman in pastel cashmere.

I went to see my boyfriend play the Verizon/MCI/FDS Woman/Cheez Its Center on Thursday night. Having a twenty-something trophy wife has apparently done wonders for my man, as he shook it well past my bedtime.

I am pleased to report that although I thought I could hear my bones creaking this week, I was not the oldest woman in the crowd as evidenced by the following:

1) The man next to me shielded his eyes painfully every time the stage lights hit on the crowd,

2) I saw two different women - within a three-minute time span - drinking their Bud Lights through a straw,

2a) Most everyone in my immediate vicinity brought a crossword, copy of Redbook or glucose monitor to keep themselves busy until Billy took the stage, and, proudly,

3) I didn't call my kids in the middle of New York State of Mind to tell them loudly about how mommy drank an entire daquiri and would be taking the train home.

I have spent the past two days pampering myself and taking care of those things that never get done. I'm pretty sure the world is out having fun while I do laundry and watch 22 Tivo-ed episodes of CSI. The freau (the term I will heretofore use to refer to the beau, given our limbo friend/more status) is in Vegas for his brother's bachelor party. The mere thought of having to share a room with five drunk men and boozing while playing nickel slots until 4 am makes my head hurt.

Maybe the Blanche in me will want to get back to such things after these Doan's pills kick in.

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38 Comments:

Blogger Amber said...

Apropos of nothing, nowadays whenever I see the word "malaise", I think of Dr. Evil:
"My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament."

As for concerts, we're in that weird age limbo. Too young to be those at Billy Joel, but too old to be those at Jason Mraz. Sigh. Welcome to limbo.

Blogger Washington Cube said...

I loved your concert observations. They gave a lot of visuals.

Blogger Marcia said...

I totally understand your wanting to stay in bed and watch TiVo'd CSI. BUT. I'm extremely jealous of your DC Bloggers Happy Hour - I just now had a thought of having a St. Louis Bloggers Happy Hour, but I doubt that we're as hot and fun as the DC Bloggers...

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

You're da best! Glad you had a good time but we GOTTA work on those drinking habits (I mean increasing the intake!)...

Blogger I-66 said...

...I knew there was a reason my ears were burning

Blogger Bill said...

Well, at least your not so old you can play hacky sack with your own testicles.

Blogger TJ said...

Sorry about Mom's phone call during your concert. I've told her time and time again to text those things to me, but once she gets half a dacquiri in her--all bets are off. As it turns out, she passed out on the train and wound up in Newark.

And CSI has taken over my Tivo as well---and the weird part is that I don't ever remember ordering a season pass in the first place...

Blogger MKD said...

You are better than I. I can't bring myself to attend a blogger happy hour. It seems too...ironic. And we all know how irony kills. 10,000 spoons and all you need is fork.

Blogger Maliavale said...

That which makes your head hurt -- specifically, boozing it up with five drunk men and playing slots until the wee hours -- makes me realize I may not be fully living life.

Blogger Lindsey said...

A blogger happy hour. Fabulous idea. Glad you had fun.

Blogger Guinness_Girl said...

Kris, what kind of mojitos are you drinkin'? The green stuff is supposed to be mint! (Or am I reading your post too literally? Man, I'm off my game today. Lost my mojo.)

Blogger Amanda said...

between you and i we probably have all seasons of CSI ever created on the DVR or TiVo.
i know the feeling you describe all too well.
ps i love amber's reference.

Blogger Dave said...

Dude, what's the deal with that tattoo? Did you get that when you were in Toronto? Does that mean that Jorge has a tattoo of the Lincoln Memorial on the small of his back?

Blogger Candace said...

I love the creaky bones and how you could tell you were younger than those around you, LOL!

On a slightly embarrassing note, I didn't realise BJ was still doing concerts. I thoght he'd gone all classical. Or was it his new stuff?

Blogger Kim said...

Spinach? Could you not tell it was mint from my sweet, fresh breath? That's the only reason I left so much of it stuck in my teeth.

And you got my URL wrong. I knew you didn't really ever read my blog. Just lyin' to me to get in my pants.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Ah, you're still doing okay.
The foundtain of youth is a fermented pool of grape juice.

One a day keeps the Reaper away.

Freau sounds like a beau's hairstyle.

I'll have to remember to get mine cut before flying down to pointy-monument land...

J

Blogger Wombat & Aspen said...

I'm still living with this sort of life-algebra:

straws + boozes = drunk, faster

Oh, now I see the flaw in the logic; BudLite doesn't count as booze.

Wombat

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

Man I love crosswards. I'm just glad I can still drive after A daquiri though.

Blogger Needtsza said...

I just spent the weekend Un-CSI-ing my Tivo. Hope you got some rest and are ready to post more.
If you wanna read more, feel free to come on over.
Meanwhile, hope to see ya at the April 14th "verizon" center show of your boyfriend

Blogger Dana said...

You know, I usually don't trust women in pastel cashmere, but I'll rethink that position now, especially if they can tell me when it's time to: Stop. Dancing. In Public.

Anonymous rcr said...

Hmmmm... I'm totally going to start rocking the bud light through a straw. Hawt.

Blogger nursevl said...

I hate to break it to ya, but if your old enough to own some Doan's...
Excuse me, I have to go have my Phyzzic now...

Blogger Heather B. said...

Smart women wear pastel cashmere. Embrace the pastel cashmere.

Oh and the look of horror was because you are way too cool for me and also, women in pastel cashmere shouldn't be dancing after 5 drinks. Lesson learned.

Anonymous MappyB said...

Drinking beer through a straw. That's awesome. Sounds almost as good as my Motley Crue show. Gasp!
http://mappyb.blogs.com/mappyb/2005/11/you_know_youre_.html

Anonymous Jacynth said...

You know if you drink beer out of a straw you get drunk faster. It's true, dammit.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

If you only have a little bit of mojo, do they call that a mojito?

Since I watched season one of Grey's Anatomy this weekend, I completely endorse mass quantities of TV watching.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Come to connecticut and I'll make you a real mojito - delish with mint. Or I could do it Italian style with some broccali rabe.

Blogger Mone said...

Everything will be all rigth, keep drinking the red wine...

Blogger JJ said...

I cannot believe I went all the way over to that site and searched and searched and looked at all the pictures to discover that the only shot of you is of the tattoo on your lower back.

Has your boyfriend trimmed down at all? He was looking kind of round the last time I saw him.

Blogger Kiki said...

I'm so jealous of this blogger meetup. I guess that's what I get for living in stupid Oshkosh. :)

Blogger Cheryl said...

Blogger meetup?! I'm officially jealous.

Hope the Doan's kicks in soon. Until then, no shame in enjoying a little CSI.

Blogger t2ed said...

Did you ever complain that the music was "just too darn loud?" Because that's the real tip that you're too old to be at the concert.

"I wish those darn kids would sit down already" is another one.

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

Part of me is incredibly jealous of your DC blogger meetup. Another part of me hopes Philly never has one. Philly's scary.

My favorite line of the day: 'I didn't call my kids in the middle of New York State of Mind to tell them loudly about how mommy drank an entire daquiri and would be taking the train home.'

Blogger Egan said...

It sounds like you had way too much fun at this blogger gathering. Please tell me there were some really really creepy people there. That's how I imagine the large blogger gatherings.

I wish my mommy would call me when she's been overserved.

Anonymous sandra said...

I'm kinda jealous -- I want to meet hot bloggers! Do I need to move to DC?

Blogger katie's brain said...

I'm moving to Boston. I haven't met any bloggers where I live, but I have a feeling most of the hot ones here have blogs with a lot of spelling mistakes, which might not bother me on a desert island, I guess, but from my desk it drives me nuts.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! »

Anonymous Markus said...

Good Job! :)

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