February 7, 2006
How many points are in cat?

Tonight is my first Weight Watchers weigh in. (Or my 173rd, depending on which tour of Weight Watchers duty you consider this to be.)

In a perfectly sane and rational attempt at weighing less this eve, I actually SHAVED BOTH OF MY LEGS (and it isn't even Saturday) AND HAVE OPTED TO GO COMMANDO (my splendid rationale? "I'd like to keep my earrings on, so these just have to go.")

Tags: Reason #782 you don't want to be inside my head; mustard sandwiches; how it all began for Lindsey Lohan; growling stomach; why hasn't Hurley lost any weight, dammit?

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46 Comments:

Blogger t2ed said...

I know someone who claims that going to the bathroom before going to the weigh in works for losing weight. Sadly this eventually wound up in the lexicon as "four pound poo."

I know, I know, tmi.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

sportsbra--the underwires on a normal bra have to make them weigh more.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Shaved both legs? Both? I mean, I can understand one, but... two? That's just nonsense.

Blogger Cheryl said...

Yeah, why HASN'T Hurley lost any weight?

Blogger Mel said...

You know what they told me at my first weight in (of my second duty)? "Welcome back to Weight Watchers!".

Those skinny bitches.

But four weeks later, it's actually not that bad. Try the Core Plan. Food isn't the best, but at least your stomach won't be growling!

Blogger afromabq said...

The lengths we go to just for the sake of being beautiful! A haircut before weigh in might help...or a waxing :).

Blogger NotCarrie said...

Yeah, Hurley must have found the fruit with the fat in it or something.

I got pissed last night looking at US Weekly. Seriously made me hungry just looking at some of those skinny girls.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

psssst...who's Hurley? As in Elizabeth Hurley or someone else?

Anyway, you'll do fine, I'm positive. And I do the same things too. Remember to take off your watch (mine weighs 2 oz.! That's a TON!), earrings, rings. And don't eat anything all day.

Well...you might not want to do the last one, but it was one I employed when I really needed it. Though my meetings are around noon.

Blogger Oy Vey said...

I think Hurley's munchin' on too many bananas. LOADED with sugar. Or he kept a secret stash of stuff from Desmond's stash for himself. Or he's out eating wild boar prime rib and not golfing enough.

Blogger Finn said...

Take off your shoes (that's at least a pound right there...). If you could weigh yourself naked, that would be like 2 pounds - but I suppose that's not an option, huh?

Good luck!

Anonymous Jorge said...

Hurley is eating other cast members, which is okay with me.

I think Hurley rocks just the way he is, dude.

Blogger Kris said...

t2ed - sure. we all have that "friend."

jb - seriously, i like the way you think. i wonder how much my fillings weigh.

therese - i know. excess. but i didn't touch my upper lip, so at least we know i haven't gone over the edge.

cheryl - see?!? great minds!

mel - core plan to me = kibbles and bits. i can't do it, man. thanks for your email, sweetness.

abq - i gave up waxing years ago. i trust that you enjoy the fruits of my labor in those geico caveman commercials . . .

notcarrie - fruit with fat = walt?

yuuuuuuurgen - someone's Lost in this conversation, I see.

ov - that might be it. you'd think he'd work up a sweat thinking up all those bad jokes.

megan - naked dub dub? nah. but i have thought about a tankini. ;)

jorge - for the last time, i'm sick of you calling me hurley.

Blogger Debby said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have a real obsession with the fact that he hasn't lost any weight. It is driving me crazy, well crazier than I already am. What in the hell is he eating?!!!!!

Blogger TJ said...

Well, my personal theory is that The Others are actually owners of a McDonald's franchise on the opposite side of the Island, and that Hurley's been slipping over there for Big Macs when no one's been looking.

And they nabbed Walt to enroll him early in their Surly Teenager Cashier Training Program.

Blogger angelatee said...

Purge your mind of heavy thoughts before weigh in. Mine always add an extra pound or two.

Blogger Candace said...

A friend of mine chews gum all day on weigh-in day and spits the saliva it generates in a glass. Is that demented or what? The worst part was when he told my sis it was a mint julep (green from the gum) and she almost drank it.**shiver**

Aha! Now you've vomited and that's a good pound and a half right there. you can thank me later. }:->

Blogger Bill said...

Maybe I'm not understanding this - after all, I'm a skinny little bugger so I don't know how this stuff works. But in the interests of feeling good I would not be shaving but stuffing my pockets with rocks. Then, the next time you check the scales - well, look at that! I've lost 22 lbs. since Tuesday!

I think you've got the psychology of this thing all wrong.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I like Bill's technique. HI-larious.

I don't think it's fair to weigh in at the end of the day. Depending in what you eat all afternoon, your weight could be pretty different one day to the next.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Oh! I'm on my third week of ww. I actually plan on clipping my nails before the meeting. And always, always take a poop. Yeah. I said it.

Blogger JJ said...

I agree with Bill. Everbody loves the "most improved" award.

Blogger mamalujo1 said...

I can't stop myself. Kris, you say you're going commando?

(((shiver)))

Blogger mamalujo1 said...

(in a good way!)

Blogger MKD said...

He totally meant that in a bad way, Kris. I can tell. It's ok. You can come cry to me.

Anonymous Amalah said...

God, the Hurley weight thing. It is driving me mad.

And now this entry has morphed and twisted around in my head and I'm picturing Hurley going commando, and I think I sort of want to cry.

Blogger Mel said...

Kris, core might mean kibbles and bits. But look at it the way I do... you can pretty much drink yourself into obvilion on the weekends and still have points left over!!

No, I'm not shitting you here. Try it. I've lost 15 in 4 weeks!

Blogger Izzy said...

I guarantee if you go commando AND wear a chiffon negligee to the weigh-in, you will weigh less!

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

I second Baby Jewels!! You must dump before your meeting. Do what you can to make this happen.

Blogger Sizzle said...

isn't the whole point of WW that you don't have to starve yourself? this coming from a girl who will wear my lightest clothes on weigh in day and yes baby jewels is right. every bit helps!

but seriously, WW works.

:) sizz

Anonymous Jennifer said...

Take off the belt, too. Or use my little psychological device. Go to the weigh in wearing your work out clothes. Feather light, I'm telling you.

Break a leg, chick.

Blogger Bookhart said...

My weigh-in routine when I was skinny required me to be buck nekkid. But I guess you can't do that at Weight Watchers. Good luck, though! Maybe you'll inspire me. I've been feeling much the fat cow lately.

Blogger Egan said...

BabyJewels said poop. I clip my nails at work, there... I said it.

Blogger Amber said...

I feel your pain. As for my strategy,I especially like saving up points and drinking until I pass out. Because when I'm passed out, I'm not eating. See how I'm clever like that?

Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Oh, yes. Do NOT be constipated, at all costs. My body seems to always want to rebel on weigh-in morning, the fucker.

Good luck! If you ever want to talk points, shoot me an e-mail!

Blogger Calzone said...

baby you know I like big asses..please..dont go

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

wow. Maybe I need to do this punishment also...sigh.

Blogger LBseahag said...

way to go, girl...you are the biggest loser in my book...

Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Heh. We have Weight Watchers at work. Works for some of them.

Blogger Mel said...

Mel's tuesday night weigh-in: -6.2
Total weight loss to date: over 15 :)

Just had to share. You can do it too, girl! We Dub-Dub ladies have to stick together!

Blogger Washington Cube said...

I still like the rocks in pockets idea.

Blogger missbhavens said...

I had a dream about Lindsey the other night. We were auditioning for the school play and since she had horrendous blackheads I thought I was a shoo-in, but alas, she still got the part due to her unparallelled acting ability. Beeyotch.

Save those points for wine.

But I bet you already knew that.

Good luck on your WW goal!

Blogger NARDAC said...

OMG... what a disaster. You only go commando for Weight Watchers?

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

If I shaved my legs I'd probably be an entire pound lighter.

When I went to weight watchers there was this odd, older couple who got as close to undressed as possible. She wore a butt rock 80s leotard and he wore WHITE boxer shorts and a wife beater. It was made even more strange by the fact that our meetings were held in a historic house where events were held and they weighed us in the kitchen. The nearly nude couple always freaked me out.

Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

I read Cube's comments as rockets in pocks. But, hey, maybe that would work, too.

Blogger Sarcomical said...

i know this is just a drop in your collective comment bucket for this post, and i'm a bit late on the draw, but you came by to visit me this week and so i came here, and DAMN how have i not found you yet? you are a little bit of funny, my friend. i likey. ;)

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