HR notified me today that in my first act as Newly-Employed Thirtysomething, I designated myself as my own life insurance beneficiary.
Labels: Stuff that's wrong with everbody else, Stuff that's wrong with me
January 19, 2006
| BlogHer Ad Network |
| More from BlogHer |
| Advertise here |
| BlogHer Privacy Policy |
about me
About Me
- Name: kris
- Location: Washington, DC, United States
Welcome, party people. I'm Kris. Pull up a chair, and let me take that bottle of wine off your hands.
vintage
the ones you liked
recent entries
- There must be a Carly Simon song for this. [Now wi...
- Vibeology
- What? Sometimes I sit around in a martini glass. ...
- Play that funky music white girl
- La Isla Barista
- Rhetorical
- Seven dolphins swimming
- Your Best of 2005 (or, It's not a competition alre...
- The List will be posted at midnight tonight.
- Reading the labels
41 Comments:
Correct Answer: I meant to do that. I want to take it with me when I go. I don't want to burden any of my family members with wealth when I go.
Oh, and I'd also be trying to swear HR to secrecy to keep that whole "I know what I'm doing" rumor going.
Wow. Nice one, Kris. How many glasses of wine did you have before you filled out that paperwork??
ROFL...whoops.
"See, what I failed to mention when doing that is that my family are a bunch of self centered money grubbing a-holes who would totally kill me for that $3,000 policy. So you see, I was just trying to keep myself safe and sound"
I designated my mom and told her to try not to kill me. She said that my life insurance policy would probably cover 1/10th of my college education, but she might kill me in about 15 years.
Lucky me.
I don't see what's wrong with this. You fake your own death, and claim the policy.
(matter-of-factly) It's actually quite brilliant.
"Can't take it with me? Like hell I can't!"
You never know if you need that nestegg in the afterlife?? :) I'm sure that's what you were thinking.
That's wicked self absorbed.
Way to go Mama.
Although I thought you were going to leave me a lock of your hair for our ebay experiment?
Hey, you were just trying to save time. It's much easier to fill in your own information than to track down your sibling/friend/spouse's social security number and address.
I can give you my info and you can put me as your beneficiary. Just to make things easier.
You gotta look out for #1 baby.
Leave it to the cats. That way if you do fake your death, you still get the $$$
You could have maybe gone into excruciating detail about the financial and legal problems that your family has gone through, and also mention that you don't have any friends you trust enough not to kill you for the money.
Bet they would have been sorry that they brought it up.
OH Kris. :)
but, just think, when you are dead, you will be RICH!
;) sizz
Sooo...you can't do that?
I'll be right back, I have to make a phone call.
sounds like your new job is pretty fabulous!! i am the same way...a graduate student who plans out what i'm going to wear everyday for the first week of classes--you have to make a good impression to your teachers--and when i say plan out i mean i have gathered a mental wardrobe of the first week's potential outfits and decide what to wear on what day depending on the class the professor, and who i expect to see in the class--kind of sick isn't it...most of this is response to my updated reading from monday...
--but your job sounds pretty great and soon i will have to ask for advice concerning the office politics scenarios that i'll come across...the real world is calling and am going to have to start looking for a job...
WEll why not. If you die, you should get something out of it...maybe not.
Thus proving you CAN take it with you.
If you still can't come up with anyone the HR people will accept, I will volunteer to be your beneficiary.
Good...at least its out of money grubbing gold digger hands...
Tomorrow they will be buzzing you to tell you that you listed yourself twice as a dependant to yourself on your tax forms.
Oh goodness! You are too cute. I was going to comment but these fine folks have covered all the bases. :o)
If you're going the fake your own death route, I suggest naming someone else. My uncle did this, it almost worked.
lol! Well, at least you didn't try and leave it to your cat. And besides, if you leave it to yourself, you know you'll get buried in style. Ok, I'm being a bit morbid...
I hate HR paperwork. I never understand it. But I think, in this case, it would be fun to leave it to a blog. Wonder what HR would do with that?
who else knows how to spend the money in the most correct fashion but you? i wouldn't trust anyone else anyway...
It's brilliant! If you off yourself you'll get all your...wait...oh. Not so much.
pretty funny. i am shocked that someone actually noticed. i always find human resources to be neither human nor resourceful.
That is hysterical and so something I'd do.
congrats on the new job!
If I had been drinking milk, it would have shot out my nose.
So I've clicked on this for the past three days to see whether you've updated, and this little confession still makes me snicker out loud. Nicely done, Little Miss Immortal!
that's a step up from putting down the cat's name. That would have been ugly.
That is wonderful. :)
you're a blond after all!
I did something a lot blonder with my online bill payment. Sigh. Are you being investigated for fraud now, or do they let blondes go on this sort of thing? :oP
Lol! That's too funny.
I say, contact a psychic, find out who you'll be in your next life, and leave it to yourself.
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! summer shoes Cheap dental plans shift-work sleep disorder Scholarships for culinary arts and hospitality in alabama car alarms Tennessee 2006 scholarships government policy scholarships Nursing scholarship wisconsin Swissplay watch Buy cashmere sweaters manhattan Wedding invitations with style study abroad veterinary scholarship Real estate sales management courses insurance andrews litigation state farm Free money roulette wheels
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! printer driver for hp deskjet 5550 error e52 brother printer hl1650 gel coat paraffin Effects cuff size blood pressure Kanguru quicksilver combo usb 20 firewire hard drives Femdom illustrations menstruating
Post a Comment
<< Home