May 4, 2007
SPF 0
So I'm happy to report that the creme brulee topping that encased the bulb of my nose completely chipped off last night. I almost saved the flaky goodness for show and tell with my coworkers. I thought better of it. Maybe next time.

Apparently sunburns don't happen all that often in the mid-Atlantic. At least 25 people have commented on the burn that ravaged my face and the front of both arms, as well as leaving me with an unattractive sock line on only one ankle. The rarity of these burns, like finding a straight man at Ikea, prompted one stranger to exclaim, "Oh my God, LOOK AT THAT!" which in turn prompted me to search the horizon for Godzilla, and the convenience store woman, who always thinks I want to buy Marlboros even though I only buy soda from her, to recoil and cry, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!?" while making circling motions like she was exfoliating with a belt sander. I promptly checked for a third eye upon returning to my desk. All clear.

My Monday night date was kind enough to say that my face looked fine, and when I called him out on his gentle lies upon returning from the bathroom, he acknowledged that he could only make out three of the blisters camping on my nose. We like.

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19 Comments:

Haha oh no. Well at least it's gone. And we can all have a good laugh over it.

Last Sept I got this horrific burn that was so bad, my lips were bleeding. That had never happened to me in my life before.

Blogger Jo said...

Ouch, those hurt. I had the same thing when I was 13 and went to the beach in Brazil with no sunscreen. At least I wasn't dating anyone :-)

Blogger t2ed said...

I think I saw The Bleeding Lips in a club once.

Blogger Melissavina said...

Once I went to Applebee's (first mistake) and our waitress had a bandaid on her face. I decided then and there that there's nothing creepier than a waitress with a bandaid on her face.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!11

You're teh AWESOMEST!!!11

Also, who the fuck was your date and why don't I already know about this? I prefer to convey my "In-the-Mamalikey-Know" smugly.

Suck it.

Blogger kris said...

OMG Melissa, I'm sitting here with a bandaid on my face as we speak.

Jurgen? I am so ruuphying you at BlogHer. Yeah, misspelling intended, asshat.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

Yeah, whatevs. Jesus is Lord, bitch.

Blogger Lord Fondleberries said...

but, my fake internet friend, this is actually stuff that is wrong with you: quite physically so.

huggin blisterin kitties,

lord f

Blogger playfulinnc said...

Little white lies get you everywhere.

Blogger Sizzle said...

you need a sun bonnet or something. :)

Blogger Desiree said...

I'm Irish so I totally get your pain... I burn myself every year and tell myself I'll never do it again. You'd think I'd learn.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I've burned more here than I ever did on the other coast. Which means that I've had one sunburn since I moved here. Being part Italian rocks the house sometimes (but then, I probably spend twice what you all spend on sunscreen on my hair removal expenses, so it evens out).

Blogger Jorge said...

Mrs. J has a funny burn story about me.

She will tell it to you one day.

I figure she'll blog all of the embarassing things about me, now that she has taken the first step and joined Facebook.

Blogger brookem said...

im a sunburn magnet. welcome to my world.

Blogger Wicked H said...

Molting is the new Black!

Blogger LPC said...

Hi girl ! I just love you !

Blogger KB said...

Dorothy, we ain't in FL anymore. Slap some SPF on that shit and be pale like the rest of us! :)

<3

Blogger Bill said...

That'll teach you to try quick-drying your hair in the microwave.

Blogger Boogie Train said...

He sounds like a keeper. If you're going to choose a mate choose one that has the balls to tell you when you look fat. You know they'll never lie to you.
www.citizenboogie.wordpress.com

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