February 21, 2008
You said duty
Its a funny thing, this not making the final jury cut. It's a different kind of rejection, but it smacks a little like watching Steve K. dance with another while you stand alone picking potato chip shards out of your braces.

I did my best to make both sides happy. Mr. Prosecutor, I'm 5'5", I abhor violence and simply adore tighty whities and recent law school grads. Ms. Defender, I have a clinical psych background, meaning either a) I believe we all can change given a Coke and a smile or b) I'm honestly too damn crazy to care. Love the skirt.

Neither my intent stares nor my nose-in-book indifference seemed to charm the right judges. And when-in the final five!-I was asked to leave the jury box to return to the DC commoners' pit, I wanted nothing more than to commandeer a limo to bawl my mascara off like so many Bachelor finale rejects. Did we not have something special? What was it about her, the one who wore the dazzling yellow hat despite Bull's repeated warnings, that made you want to be with her more? Justice isn't the only one who's blind, baby.

It might be time to get back together with Virginia.


Blogger Wicked H said...


Their loss!!

Blogger janet said...

don't worry, I'm sure it was good practice for when you get called up again in 2 months

Blogger Eileen Dover said...

Attorneys are scum.

Next time wear something dripping in fake rhinestones or adorned in Mickey Mouse, and you'll be instantly accepted.

Blogger kitkat said...

I was going to be on a jury. I ended up as an "alternate," which is a little sad, and then the next day the judge called me and said I wouldn't be needed. Rejection indeed!

They'll be sorry they didn't select you. I mean, don't they need a wine-swigging cat-lover perspective?

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

You didn't miss much. Honest.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I think I was an insta pick for the jury I served on because I'm from a state that makes it seem like I'd be tough on crime, but in a field that makes it seem like I'm a bleeding heart.

Both are true, in their own ways, and I loved every moment of jury duty.

Blogger Snakebite said...

"It might be time to get back together with Virginia."

Just say, "no."

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I'm a two-time loser at DC Jury Duty, but I got called for this Thursday. I don't think I'll be picked again, but I'd really like to serve instead of just having my time wasted.

Maybe I shouldn't go in blackface this time.

Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

I clerked for a judge for two years and let me just say, not being picked is better. I mean, sure it was entertaining watching the bailiff intercept the cracked out mother from rushing the bench but otherwise court was a total snooze.

Blogger gorillabuns said...

are you live blogging this sunday?

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