Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. – Plato
So when you find out you’ll be a panel speaker at this year’s conference, do you:
a) contemplate which of your incognito wine vessels you’ll sneak into the session, enabling you to sound minimally coherent while droning on about your cats,
b) ponder the location of your unfilled emergency Xanax prescription (yes, I have one that isn’t filled, and no, you may not have it),
c) consider feigning a nonspecific GI ailment so as not to be forced to speak in public, much like you did during the unfortunate name-reading-into-a-microphone caper of Girls’ State 1990?
Maybe BlogHer flasks will be part of this year’s SWAG.
a) contemplate which of your incognito wine vessels you’ll sneak into the session, enabling you to sound minimally coherent while droning on about your cats,
b) ponder the location of your unfilled emergency Xanax prescription (yes, I have one that isn’t filled, and no, you may not have it),
c) consider feigning a nonspecific GI ailment so as not to be forced to speak in public, much like you did during the unfortunate name-reading-into-a-microphone caper of Girls’ State 1990?
Maybe BlogHer flasks will be part of this year’s SWAG.
Labels: Blaahging, Stuff that's wrong with me
32 Comments:
Motherfucking Girls State. 1998, South Carolina. No, just no.
I thought wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you.
Thank you, thankyouverymuch.
a) contemplate which of your incognito wine vessels you’ll sneak into the session, enabling you to sound minimally coherent while droning on about your cats,
FOR SURE! LOL
Goddamn, you're important. GODDAMN!
That's awesome that you'll be speaking! I expect to see an excerpt here. :)
who among us hasn't played the fool...
picture them naked?
congrats girl!
Let the waaaaa-waaaaa-ing begin that I don't think I can make it :(
But you as a speaker - v fancy!!!
woo! which panel? i have to add that to my "must see" list, you know.
GIRLS STATE 1995! REPRESENT! :)
Congratulations! you're fabulous!!!
you are onto something with the flask.
All I can say is that picturing the audience naked is the worst idea ever. Instead, mix the booze, Xanax, and laxatives and you will have Options a-c covered.
Xanax, wine and then more Xanax.
at least that is what i would do.
um... now you know my name.
i hate passwords and this new fangled invention called the internet.
a.k.a. gorillabuns
Oh, for goodness sake, fill the Xanax prescription! It's such a nice little product. Who leaves one unfilled just sitting around?
Hey, that's cool! Go fill that Xanax scrip, though.
My dear, although those choices were DAMN funny, I'm 'a have to go with something altogether different: smothering you with compliments!
Mad'me, you were shelected for a reashon. Relish it! We all know you have something to say, and that something usually touches us readers in private areas (aka -HEARTS, pervs). You have a way of communicating that doesn't make people feel inferior, but just the opposite. Your spin on this here blaahging will no doubt help many a BlogHers!
So in advance, and on behalf of her-bloggers, Thank You!
Kelly's comment about your touching our private areas just made me smile.
You're in the big time now, girlie. Pretty soon you'll be too important to talk to me... I'll just have to learn about you through your monthly photo essays of your cats and whatnot. :) Wait, what?
for me public speaking and air travel both require a good dose of "fermented courage" go with a nondescript flask...the beer hat thing is a real give away.
got here via Curly Glamour Cello Girlie.
Flasks would be so sweet. I have one. I feel so Marria Cooper aka Mischa Barton's character on The OC circa season 1.
Anyways.
I have Xanex! and Klonopin. Klonopin is stonger- you can have one if you want. But I'd recommend Adderall. It's nearly destroyed my social phobias. I have such an easier time of talking to strangers and in front of people now, it's amazing! I barely even use my tranqs anymore.
I would say A, but then I am partial to masking fear and awkwardness with good old fashion inebriation.
Look forward to seeing you @ Blogher :)
Whoo To The Hooo! Congrats!
You know you could borrow one of those baseball caps with 2 bottles already affixed with tubing attached.
Start a new Blogher trend, I triple dog dare you!
Oh, you'll be wonderful! I'm so excited for you! I won't be there, alas, but I'm dying to know what you say! You'll have to post a full transcript. Seriously.
Sweet mother of lord, fine, I'll write about it too. I was going to hold off, but NOOOO you and Stacy and you're excitement.
Also, I have my xanax as well. Wheee!
Excellent.
You'll be fine.
I mean, come on, Mama.
Who doens't love you?
I DARE them to speak up.
*punching own hand*
;)
good luck you blogging goddess you! you rock. seriously.
I know the Xanax comment is played out, but I've been told I make a decent Xantini, I say we split the bottle and go out for cocktails...
I love your blogging style and I am an IndieBloggers member. I'd love it if you wanted to write a rant for us at RantasaurusRex.com. Our contest this week is: worst date ever rants.
I just sneezed and I totally peed a little. Just now.
GodDAMNIT. I think this means that I offically have to come to Blogher.
Look at you, Ms. Likey! Congrats! What kind of panel?
Post a Comment
<< Home