Always look good, even when going to the Giant, just in case you run into any Rules Committee members/ex-boyfriends.
Kill them with kindness.
Take better care of borrowed items than you would your own.
It might not be a good idea to discuss your personal life on the Internet.
Wait for the sale.
When asked for your phone number by a salesperson, transpose the last two digits.
Always go the extra mile to make someone feel great.
When in doubt, iron it.
You are capable of doing anything that you want to.
It is never too early for a Diet Coke.
Kill them with kindness.
Take better care of borrowed items than you would your own.
It might not be a good idea to discuss your personal life on the Internet.
Wait for the sale.
When asked for your phone number by a salesperson, transpose the last two digits.
Always go the extra mile to make someone feel great.
When in doubt, iron it.
You are capable of doing anything that you want to.
It is never too early for a Diet Coke.
12 Comments:
I didn't realize they have Giant stores in VA. The name cracks me up every time.
It's truly great that your mom taught you the second to the last one. My mom never did, but I'm starting to believe it anyway.
Amen, sistah.
Wise advice, indeed! - Speaking of wise - you'd have thought I would have learned from your bowling experience, but no - today I am suffering maximus glutela achiness...
I don't care what I look like when I go to the giant. He's always trying to devour me! Stupid magic beans.
Killing with bullets is always more efficient.
The Library hates me.
Pardon? ;)
There will always be a better sale. If you keep waiting, the final sale will be 100% off. But you'll also be infinity years old.
I honestly don't know how switching the last 2 fingers on my hand will help.
I'm usually sweating if I go the extra mile. I tend to stink. This rains on everyone's parade.
I would never iron an uncooked apple pie. Grilled cheese? Yes.
I am incapable of not doing anything I don't want to.
What about halfway through another Diet Coke?
I've never lived anywhere there was a Giant so I'm unfamiliar with the area of retail. But should I ever enter one, I'll do my best to look good.
As for Diet Coke ... had you said tea, I might have gone along. But Diet Coke? It's always too early for Diet Coke. It's the beverage equivalent of cold sores.
i should try that transposing thing- smart!
Your Mama and you: SMART!
You left out the one wherein she directs you to always spend the extra $5 for the better bottle of cab.
Always stop at garage sales with books. You never know what treasures you'll be able to get for a quarter.
Always write thank you cards. Or you won't get a gift next time.
ahhhh, the sales person tip. i will adopt that as my own.
When asked to give my phone number at a register, I give the number to a different store. The one I use is the only store in my town.
Dear Kris,
Have I mentioned the fact that I love you? Please marry me. I will make you happy.
Love, forever and always,
Jake
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