Your Best of 2005 (or, It's not a competition already)

So here it is, my gift to you: a list of a gazillion hand-coded links. A compilation of more than 70 posts follows, representing countless hours of writing effort and likely hundreds of hours spent living out their content. I have not screened or edited these, so follow each at your own peril. My hope is that you will link back to this post or its entries so that your readers may explore the work of fellow bloggers who shared favorite posts they penned, as well as the writing of those on blogger sidebars who decided to wait for the 2006 edition (you know who you are :)

Enjoy the rest of 2005. I look forward to blogging with you in the new year.

Hit me with your best Plot (or fiction)

FICTION: A SHORT STORY
I was thirteen and my world was a confusing mesh of childish whims and adult desires, as if some demon had possessed my body with an array of skin problems and mood swings. I could have easily dealt with the physical changes, but the feelings were the sort I hadn't experienced before and didn't know how to confront.

Tales from the Ripped (or, I was drinking when . . .)

Dear Skyy Vodka
Binge Drinker? Try and find a sponsor...And not one from AA...

I Thrive on Embarrassment
This post involves drinking, dancing and ripping out the seat of my pants inside of a Las Vegas night club. Then, consuming an excessive amount of alcohol to dull my senses.

Wallace on Wine
Coming up with a weekly wine column is hard work. So I tried to imagine how David Foster Wallace would pen a wine review. Plus I had been drinking.

Zip and Tuck
How good of a friend is Dave? Read on and find out!

Anal Penetration
Rest assured, it's not what you're thinking...

We're just here to do the Superbowl shuffle (or Sports)

Wie, Wie, Wie, All the Way Home
A discussion of Michelle Wie getting disqualified from her first professional LGPA tournament because of some nosy, nabob of a reporter who narced on her after the fact.

Holden Caufield (or, frankly, my disillusionment)

The shit hat and the stool sample
Can dignity and health care co-exist? The sad tale of the stool sample suggests the answer is obvious - no.

Semper Fidelis
Or, more guilt. Just what a new mother needs at Christmas.

Gumming of age (or Growing older)

No pasa nada
It's my problem free philosophy and the realization that this is how I am so just deal.

Siding with Cider
Whether it's because of the spiked cider at Tryst or the absence of this blogger's financial chi, Rebecca Knox quickly gets over a misinterpreted one-night stand and focuses on the relationships that aren't so ephemeral.

Passing time
My little sister Chicky turns 22 today . . .

I can't believe it's not butter, spray! (or Romance/Relationships)

N*ked Man Dance
A little story about my husband that took place shortly after he moved in (before we were married)...

I Could Feel You
(A post from the originator of the Best of List . . .)

Kickball Pays Off
It turned out to be the beginning of an ill-fated romance.

Complacency has its Limits
When are we in danger of dating complacency kicking in TOO much?

Recognizing the Need to Heal a Broken Heart
In this post I describe what it is like to have a huge shield over my heart in order to not become broken hearted once again. I write about wanting to change and take that shield down and take a risk again.

Dear Huge
I had been sparring with this wine blogger, so I wrote him a letter imploring him to try a particular wine. It must've knocked his socks off as his blog closed up shop shortly after our long distance tiff.

By request
Girl meets boy. Hurricane renders boy homeless. Girl and Boy shack up. Romance ensures.

Hurry Up and Date
My experience at a speed dating event . . .

How (not) to have sex
One in a series of "dating guidelines." My approach to the dilemma of how not to rush into sleeping with someone.

You'll rave about this rant (or Opinion)

Driving Me to Drink
A personal opinion? I think not. This is reality, people.

All About Eve
My reaction to All About Eve. I've done a few movie reviews, but this one just stands on its own, whether or not you could pick Bette Davis out of a line up.

Today in Bitchery
An Open Letter to the Folks Who Put the Clear Adhesive Along the Top of
all Packaged CDs.

I love this stuff
Not Your typical Jersey Girl on Skinny Cows.

Is Summer Over Yet?
From the graveyard of Mel's once "Wedded Bliss", we are reminded of why the Summer of 2005 was one of the worst. To be followed by "Winter of '05-'06 can kiss my ass."

Of the way we murr . . . (Memories)

A complex phrase, in which the various parts are enchained
When I was nine years old, my brother and my cousin sat me down taught me absolutely nothing about the female reproductive system.

Shit happens
What do you wipe with in the wilderness? One woman's story of shame in the streets of Santa Cruz, CA.

Vignette
Me, my college boyfriend and his bedroom.

She don't lie, She don't lie, She don't lie
This is a Memories entry about a Girl, a Grandma, Cocaine and a big, blue Cougar. And, in a roundabout way, how they all relate to music.

Her Royal Highness of Pastry Land
Some perks of growing up in the 1970's.

Dear Mom
This is the letter I wrote to my mom the night of the anniversary of her death. I never intended to post it to my blog at all, but somehow it ended up that way. It’s full of honesty and raw emotion and many people commented that it made them cry.

Pieces, pieces, pieces of me (Autobiographical)

Ghosts, Forgiveness and All Hallows Eve
A bit of a rant, a bit autobiographical, a bit philosophical.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Thoughts about regrets and do-overs. All the things I could have, would have, should have done.

The Haunted Basement
What's more fun that a barrel full of monkeys? Visiting your Mormon relatives and meeting the ghost who lives in their basement.

Possibly My Most Embarrassing Post Thus Far
Enough said.

Meditations on Sunlit Window
I chose this piece because I like my "truth" posts (meditations) the best; by telling these little stories about myself, I connect with my readers on the grounds that all of us are just a little bit wacko, and that's perfectly OK.

To Know Me is to Love Me
Often my writing comes from anger or frustration or angst or tears. When I am happy I write about what color I painted my apartment. This time I’m frustrated.

I'm an Emotional Eater
After the separation from her husband of less than a year, Mel takes a look at the vices that she must overcome to make it through the end of her marriage. Warning: do not read if you are hungry.

Look kids, it's story time
A story about a girl struggling with her inner demons. You'll be intrigued by this tale of crisis, embarassment and loss....

Revenge is a dish best served cold. And with a Louisville Slugger
Question: What do you get when you live with 2 coke whores? Answer: Kicked out in the middle of the night and swollen knuckles from teaching them to fuck with you.

Perennial
About forgetting an important anniversary and the steps that I took to make up for it after the fact.

I feel witty, oh so witty (or Humor)

Rudi in the Sky with Santa
More enlightened discourse (such as it is) about the unanswered questions posed by the famous Christmas special, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Blognesia
This is a little ditty about making up excuses when you don't tend to your blog and eating processed food intended for other species. Oh, and a mother's love.

The Pitch
The classic Hollywood battle except this time the writer wins.

Where there are lips
This post is about vaginal teeth.

The Handsome Canadian
True stories that are also truly funny.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Seconds
So what if he thinks you're crazy and doesn't call you again; isn't that the point?

Crazy People Say the Darndest Things
An entry about the town crazy. Especially relatable if you have crazy in your genes.

Another Real Man of Genius
A true classic. This is my own rendition of Bud Light's "Real Men of Genius" ad campaign. This one is in honor of some guy who took a naked picture of himself and kept leaving frat-boy, horn-dog comments on my blog.

Vatican Idol
This fine gem was inspired by the excitement that gripped the world as we waited breathlessly for the word of who the new Pope would be... Anyway, it occurred to me that it would be more fun if they had a show to decide... Vatican Idol.

Lord of the Rinks (or "Midget Hockey")
Today started off with a bang. I was up at the butt crack of dawn to watch the fruit of my womb play hockey . . .

So you wanna be a hipster band
You don't need to be talented or attractive to be in a hipster band, but you will need a coke habit.

Conversations with Myself
I spent a weekend talking to myself and crying over Coach bags. Enough said.

Why, Dex, Why?
The horrors of owning too many phonebooks. Since writing this entry in March, I have received 4 more.

Maybe I'll fantasize about that...
An excerpt from an IM session I had with a boy named Adam Outlaw. We've never met each other.

Medieval Torture American Style
I joined a bodybuilder gym. Hilarity and humiliation ensues.

An Open Letter To Tom Cruise
This is the post where I let Tom know that I'm hip to what he's up to and throw down the gauntlet. That was eight months ago and I still haven't heard from him. What a p*ssy!

Morning Person? Not So Much
If you know what’s good for you, do not bother me in the morning.

I can't decide between a story I posted about seeing my mother-in-law naked and the story about her feeding me glass in soup.

Blog, sweat, and fears
I am a sweat-phobic. I am totally and completely paranoid about perspiration. And I don't even sweat a lot.

And Now.....The Man You've All Been Waiting For...
FUDD: One Night Only

Moving to Entertainment News:
In a surprising turn of events, the role of Angelina Jolie will now be played by up and coming newcomer, Brookelina.

Weber You Believe Me or Not
The blog post was a true story from this year's Thanksgiving festivities. I had to do something to rescue the family from a lack of turkey so they got me. Maybe too much of me.

Iambic pentameter, hear me roar (Poetry)

Lament
About not having what you think you want.

Ode to Tea
For the lovelorn, the under-sexed and all those who are uncompanioned ... there is tea.

Unnatural State of Philosophy
With a backdrop of Georgetown swank, Rebecca Knox takes hold of her emotions right on M Street -- distracted by a cab's spinning rims. Fresh out of college, she shows an inner-struggle for truth and understanding.

Gardenburger Poem of Devotion by Erin
I wrote this after attending a barbeque where i stood around looking stupid and drinking a beer. After 5 people gave me the protein inquisition, i decided to drink 3 more beers, go home, and write this poem of devotion....

Untitled
I posted this on another blog and it was definitely drug-induced while in the ER one day, but here it is for your enjoyment.

A Bumble A Bumble
Big Bouncy Bumbles with Bounteous Bosoms

My cat beat up your honor roll student (or Stuff about my babies and/or felines)

Perfection Itself is Imperfection
This is just a strange post regarding the amazing ways to compartmentalize my music collection and the revealing patterns that I found thanks to the good folks at iTunes. It was also a huge experiment in linking. I went ape-link with it. My iPod is like a baby...or a pet.