May 13, 2008
She went to a party last Saturday night
I recently sent one of my infamous mix CDs to t2ed. This one was a variation on my all-time favorite summer 2007 mix, a mix made for an old friend that to this day trumps all of its kind. t2ed's is still a compilation of Music That Only the Kris Still Admits to Enjoying, but has the added bonus of some special ditties thrown in that I knew would make him cringe extra special like. Ah, the Spice Girls, Night Ranger, Air Supply, Chicago . . . and who can resist the subtlety of a voice like Lita Ford’s?

He first played it last night on his car ride home. This morning, I received this:
Dearest Kris:

There is nothing sexier than having your top down (on the car, perv), having the stereo cranked because you lurve Mr. Petty, having eye contact with the milf in the Porsche Boxster next to you and then suddenly realizing that the Spice Girls are now blaring from your stereo. Break eye contact and then continue to stare straight ahead for the remainder of the drive home.

I'll tell you what I want. What I really really want? I want you skanks to shut the hell up. If I want to get with you, I have to get with your friends? This doesn't sound like the start of a very stable long term relationship. You want to zigga zig zig a cow? I don't think I like where this is going. We can still be friends.

Seriously, was I exposed to REOSpeedJourneyStyxFuckRangerSupplyWagon? Those bands were all the same to me. And dead to me. I can't begin to calculate how many hours of slow dances/bear hugs I spent my formative years being emotionally crippled to while that music played over a shitty sound system in a school gymnasium adorned with crepe paper.

I can't wait to return the favor. I think I'm going to have to broaden things from just beyond my heinous prom experiences. Don't worry, they'll still be plenty of hair bands, big hair, pre-packaged popcrap and dancers who think they can sing and singers who think they can dance. I have a truly huge collection of CD's. I know, it's not the size of your collection, it's how you use it. Just remember that I was in high school, college and law school during the 80's. That a long span of crappy music to choose from. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Bring it.


20 Comments:

Blogger Reid said...

I assume that the comments section is the right place to request a FULL track listing of the MTOTKSATE mix? Consider it requested.

Blogger kris said...

Oh dear friend, I'll do one better - email me your address and I'll burn you a copy. It really must be witnessed in person to appreciate. Carry on.

Anonymous Mme. Meow said...

Holy crap-- are you taking requests?

Blogger Chantel said...

He probably should start with Mili Vanilli?

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

Count me in too! Hell, I could be sending all sorts of wild stuff on my hard drive that I don't play with too much!

Blogger brookem said...

that cd sounds right the hell up my ally! id love to hear what's on it!

and is t2ed single? he made me laugh with that email.

OpenID redstaplernation said...

Spice Girls! He should have cranked it UP instead of getting embarrassed. And Styx? And Journey? How can you argue with a whole CD of classic karaoke songs? ;o)

Blogger Sassy said...

Weird. Must be a music post day...

Blogger Elise said...

Yeah, I think we're gonna need a list of the tracks. Stat :)

Blogger Spirophita said...

Oh WOW. I just died laughing or relieved myself in my pants.

Blogger 1218Blog said...

LOL! Funniest shit ever!!!

Blogger myself said...

Bahahahaha........

Sweet. Reminds me of a mixed tape (yes, I am that old, whaddya wanna make of it???) that a friend made me aptly entitled "Music to Hang By"

Yes. It was JUST that depressing!

Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

Dude. That...that was BRILLIANT.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I for one turn the volume UP when that CD hits the Spice Girls.

Blogger gorillabuns said...

oh, how i loves me some Night Ranger, not Fuck Ranger.

Anonymous Food Rockz Man said...

Note to self . . . NEVER accept a mix from Kris! But that's some funny sh*t . . . the top-down MILF tale . . . I can imagine the horror your poor "friend" experienced. (Who does that to a "friend"?)

Never blare a mixed cd. You never know what is coming up next.

Blogger Kim said...

T2D2! Kris hearts crappy songs. Send her some good music and it'll drive her nuts.

wuh

Blogger Ryane said...

That is brilliant. Kris, you are my hero. Officially!

Anonymous Elvina said...

This is great info to know.

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