April 23, 2008
Use your words
I'm a woman who talks a good game. I probe acquaintances for specifics of their sex lives, I request details of every gross surgery or open wound, and I'll approach complete strangers to ask them where they got their highlights. But last night at the MAC store, I simply refused to ask the saleswoman for my favorite lip gloss by name, and instead pointed at my empty tube and grunted. Because apparently saying the word "nymphette" in an open forum offends my delicate, reserved sensibilities. My mother will be most encouraged by this development.


28 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

I have a similar quandry when I need to purchase my MAC eyeshadow staple...."haux".

Aargh.

Blogger Jen said...

I have a similar quandry when I need to purchase my MAC eyeshadow staple...."haux".

Aargh.

Blogger Jessica said...

Please, I have trouble even ordering my favorite ice cream at Cold Stone - Cookie Doughn't You Want Some in Like It, Love It, or Gotta Have It.

Makes me feel like a fool.

Blogger Heather B. said...

"delicate, reserved sensibilities"

You're still talking about yourself correct? Hello? Kris? Are you in there??

It seems as if I've picked up your forgotten bad behavior. If you need them they're over here drinking straight out of the Jack Daniels bottle and using the 'F' word with aplomb.

Blogger brookem said...

this may not be wicked relevant to your post, but it made me think of this (yet again): i wish we lived closer. we seem to have a hell of a lot in common and hell if we couldn't kill a bottle (or two or three) of pinot together.

Blogger TrappedInColorado said...

You know, Kris. I do not comment too often but I do check you out everyday (like many men do I am sure during your commute and walk from the car to your office) and I just have to say these little nuggets of humorous insights into your life are simply hilarious. You have so often made me laugh out loud (I detest the LOL moniker and refuse to use it) and even have saved my days. Peace. BTW - If I lived in the area I would so ask you out!

Blogger I-66 said...

I don't even know what MAC is...

Blogger Cheat to Win said...

I'm not really sure what offends me the most in this. The fact that you wear a lip shade named "nymphette," the fact that the shade even exists, or the fact that you never even referenced "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama.

You should be ashamed of yourself. I bet she'd say your lip gloss isn't even poppin' anymore.

Blogger t2ed said...

All my commercial transactions are performed via grunts and gestures.

Is there another way I don't know about?

Blogger kris said...

It's official - I'm moving to Colorado! Thanks, hon.

And I had to Google the Lil Mama lip gloss reference, because I'm that freaking out of the loop. See? I still say "freaking." Ugh.

Blogger kris said...

Oh, and t2ed? No one really wants to hear about your conversations at strip clubs.

No? Too much?

Blogger Melina said...

Nymphette is my favorite too, but I have no problem saying it...ever since I had a lipstick called "Whore" made by this little indie company at this little boutique I found once.

Blogger HKW said...

I've thought for sometime "Give that Lip Gloss or Eyeshadow a name" would be a very, very satisfying and interesting job. Sadly, I remain a data analyst.

Blogger 1218Blog said...

Wait they have a lip gloss called "nymphette" huh, what!

Blogger Mme.Meow said...

But it's so fun to pretend you're saying it to the salesperson!

Blogger Katie said...

That's the beautiful thing about the WRITTEN word... you can say what you want without actually SAYING it.

Blogger kitkat said...

This is yet another reason I avoid any kind of "counter" for any retail purchase. Cashiers at Target rarely even notice what I'm buying, whether it's lipstick or Preparation H.

Blogger FoodRockz said...

I don't mean to offend your delicate, reserved sensibilities . . . but Tag! You're it: http://foodrockz.com/2008/04/23/tagged-seven-random-things-about-food-rockz-man.aspx

Blogger abbersnail said...

Oh, man. My mom decided that she loved my blush the last time I was home, and she asked me what the color was called. I nearly shit a brick when I had to say the word "Orgasm" at the dinner table.

Blogger Nettie said...

MAC has a lipgloss called Nymphette? I'm going there on Sunday!

Blogger Dating at Forty said...

I'm going to buy it just so I can say it. And maybe "accidentally" drop it when out on a date, so he can pick it up and read the label.

Blogger Rachel said...

That's hilarious! But yes, I probably would've just pointed to the tube also or just continued to look for it by myself, because I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

Blogger Kelly said...

I walked past MAC yesterday but I was a bit intimidated. It was all shiny, and bright, and sleek, and rows of silver canisters holding bright makeup....and I was about as scrubby as a girl can get and still be acceptable outside of her home. Also, I ran into my ex-boyfriend's mother that day. All around, a bad day to look dumpy.

Blogger Kelly said...

oh, and I've been reading your blog for a while but I don't know if I've ever commented, so....hi! I think I found it through sk*rt and your post about past loves. Which, by the way, broke my heart in the best ways.

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

"Because apparently saying the word "nymphette" in an open forum offends my delicate, reserved sensibilities. My mother will be most encouraged by this development."

Who are you kidding? Delicate, reserved Sensibilities? You of the Asshat and flailing Boobs?

Have another glass of Pinot &
Rock On with Your Bad Self!

Blogger Washington Cube said...

I see someone beat me to it, but I was going to bring up NARS blush, Orgasm. Luckily, I wear a blush made by Tarte...I don't know if that's any better.

Blogger KathyLikesPink said...

Personally, I feel uncomfortable asking the clerk at the liquor store if they have Fat Bastard.

http://www.fatbastard.com/

Blogger Shauna said...

I am headed to MAC right now if they have lipgloss made just for me! whooo hooo..

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