childfree to be you and me

I’m not going to BlogHer this summer. I decided this based on a variety of factors, not the least of which was the fact that I’m not speaking this year and therefore would have to pay for the conference, which would minimize the disposable income I generally reserve for Laffy Taffy and Bonne Bell Lip Smackers. I’m also of the mindset that I deserve a completely fun vacation right now, away from all things even remotely related to business and networking and permagrin. I’m thinking my September trip to Greece will do the trick. It won’t be free smiling, for sure, but there will be no pressure to attend sessions rather than lay poolside with a margarita.

I of course checked out the BlogHer agenda, and was pleased to see there’s a session on being childfree in the blogosphere. Oh, all the places this could go! I’m hoping that the speakers celebrate the presence of childfree bloggers rather than lamenting the amount of attention we seem to lack in comparison to the mommy blogger. I would hate to see it turn into a bitch session in which we show our collective dissatisfaction with not getting enough play. We already know this is how things are, but why is this the case? Is it because we don’t have the well-defined network that the parent bloggers do? Is it because the readership is there in one case and not in another? I can say with certainty that it isn’t for lack of good content; much of the best writing out there is produced by bloggers I’m quite sure have never held a baby. I’d like to see participants discuss what is out there in this "other" community of thriving bloggers, but also why it is that being a non-mommy blogger seems to be today’s radical act.

It also seems important for them to discuss why this distinction is even necessary. Most days I’m of the view that it isn’t, but that this is simply the way things have shaken out in the big, bad online world. People need a way to categorize those they read and those who read them; it helps to answer “Are you one of us?” and saves precious time that otherwise would be spent sifting through an online TJ Maxx of sites. Categorization lets people know where they are likely to find something of interest, a connection. And it colors many things, from post content to who talks to you at a blogging cocktail party to whether certain types of ads run on your site. But does it help any of us? I’m on the non-parent blogroll on some sites – does it make a difference? Truth be told, I don’t care if you are a parent or a beekeeper or both. If you write interesting posts, I’ll read you. If you have something to say that someone else hasn’t said before, or you manage to say it in a different way, I’ll read you. It matters not if you live on a farm in Oklahoma or around the corner from me. Do what you do well and the other distinctions don’t even matter. Do they?