In a mood

I am filled with love today. Courtesy of Benadryl, I had fantastic Peyton Manning sex dreams that also oddly involved swimming. The kind done with big, broad, tanned shoulders in water that pools only in the right places, like on big, broad, tanned shoulders. Bolstered by a new spring outfit, I am a woman who rolls down the window to tell another she loves her beautiful eyeglasses, who lets an antsy driver into traffic before she is due.

So help me Oprah, if someone snatches the last Diet Coke or takes my mom to see a dirty bird porno passing as mainstream pop culture fare - which she only later realizes she thought was Made of Honor - I will kick him in the hammy and contact his exes armed with those photos.

*straightens skirt*

Enjoy this beautiful day.