May 22, 2007
things to write about in my next entry, as noted today while waiting for the cable guy
1) How it’s really effing irritating that the effing Blue Angels flew over the nation’s effing capital TWICE TODAY, no more than 20 feet above my apartment, and our normally ridiculously propaganda-ish local news didn’t warn us about it beforehand. No, not because I wanted to take pictures of Iceman, but because, I don’t know, remember that little thing called 9/11? Yeah. Don’t bring your jets into our airspace before leaving a “we’ll be in your neighborhood” flyer on all of our cars.

2) Just how I hate memes.

3) The experiment I’m planning in which I will say hello to every person I pass for one full week, just to see how many will greet me back. And about how I will return the following week and clothesline those who ignore me. While wearing a nude thigh high over my head.

4) How I wanted to force feed Oprah bratwurst when she made fun of one of the guests having trouble on her weight loss show. Pot. Kettle.

5) How Google Reader is foiling all of my life plans, including, but not limited to, lude and lascivious stalking of readers.

6) About my attempt to register that lying, cheating “heart-healthy” 10,000 steps a day, which might drive me further toward lunacy and/child bearing, if memes and jet aeroplanes don’t get to me first.


22 Comments:

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

Oprah did WHAT? What an asshat.

Also, tell me about reader and why it's foiling you.

I share your murr and raise you a MURRRR.

Blogger Itinerant Agonist said...

Do you mean memes like "where's the beef?" and did you at least get a chance to see Goose? Maverick is so short, I'd have to guess he can barely see over the cockpit (so to speak).

Blogger EDW said...

This kind of makes me want to tag you for a meme...but ignore me, I'm evil today.

We've had military helicopters flying over our house for the last few days. You can see NYC from where I live, out in NJ, so it's weird, very reminiscent of that time.

Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

I'm with Jurgen. How on earth does Oprah have the right to reprimand anyone for weight issues? She just dropped in my sister-girlfriend ranking. A lot.

Blogger BabsieD said...

Holy planes. They did that a few months ago like right over Georgetown. I was driving down Wisconsin and it was like ROARSWISHRRAAAAAAA and then "F YOU!" from the person I almost careened into whilst nearly peeing myself.

Blogger Freewheel said...

Google reader? You are a premiere blogger, in the upper echelon of blogdom. You don't have to worry about how people find you anymore. You're a star.

Blogger whiskeymarie said...

Good luck with the "hello" thingy.
I've been trying for months to get people to say it when I'm out for a walk- which is nearly every day.
I would estimate that 60% look away before I get a chance to say anything, 25% say it back, and the rest look shocked/surprised and say nothing while picking up their pace.

I think instead of "hello" or "hi" from now on I will just spout out random words, tourettes-style.
"toaster!"
"clock!"
"Massachusetts!"

Blogger Mia said...

Oh yeah to #3. I sit out on my porch and wave to cars going by all the time just to see if they'll wave back. And they never do. It's actually pretty damn funny after a couple of alcoholic beverages...

Anyway.. In the south, you just absolutley can NOT pass someone without at least raising your hand in greeting, and usually full on eye contact and maybe even a nod.

In New York.. they just think yer crazy.. but um.. in my case they might be right ::laughing::

I need to move south. soon.

Blogger Grad School Reject said...

I think a 3rd element of your "hello" experiment should involve you wearing the nude stocking over your head while saying hello to strangers. I'm 50/50 on whether lots of people say hello out of fear/nervousness, or if the same people crap their pants. Either way I support the plan.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I hope after Oprah mocked that woman, she said "We have hypocrisy for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveryooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee! YOU get hypocrisy! and YOU get hypocrisy!"

Haha I like how you put lunacy/child bearing.

Good god, Oprah made fun of someone for having trouble to lose weight? -rolls eyes-

Blogger t2ed said...

That's freaky. We had helicopters over our house multiple timesa at 6:00 am yesterday.

Made we want to grab a rifle and scream "Wolverines." Yes, that's a very obscure Red Dawn reference. The first PG-13 rated movie ever and the first to feature both Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey.

Oprah? Meh.

Blogger Jorge said...

Regarding #3...

Are you planning on wearing this thigh-high over your head by pulling it up from your feet?

I'd like to see that.

As you were.

Blogger Rebecca said...

Yeah, my coworker and I were at lunch when the planes flew over. We just sat there, talking about how it'd suck if we died at Potbelly. Especially if we died at Potbelly BEFORE we got our shakes. What was up with that?

Blogger TrappedInColorado said...

I'd ignore your "hello" just for the next day's clothesline experience!

Blogger s@m said...

Google Reader has nothing on you now! You're a supah stah!

Blogger Zandria said...

I have something on my 101 Things list about smiling at everyone I see for an entire day. A week is pretty adventurous! :)

Blogger Jen Magnuson said...

I'm going to tag you. You had to know this would bring out the antagonist in your readers....

Blogger kris said...

seriously, that makes the baby jesus cry, magnuson . . . SERIOUSLY.

I'm voting for #3. Do it .....Do it!!!!

Blogger Kim said...

You're going to be clotheslining a lot of people.

Blogger Maurey Pierce said...

I, too, strive for 10,000 steps a day. Unfortunately, for every 10 steps, my pedometer registers 5, or 33.

I usually have good luck with people saying "hi" in return. But I'm in Minnesota. We're more trusting. Or is it naive?

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