how the student became the teacher (told with some artistic license)

Kris: If you had to describe how boring we really are today, how would you do it?

Stacy: How boring WE are or how boring our jobs are?

Kris: Us. We’re pretty boring today. Neither of us has come up with anything snappy since the Spanish Civil War.

Stacy: Actually, I have an answer. Truthfully, the twitch in my left eye is the most excitement I've had all day. I'm trying to see if there's a pattern to it. Like, onetwothree...onetwo...onetwothree or something.

Kris: Good one. I’m so boring I’m pretty sure those stupid Anne Geddes babies sleeping in a mailbox/pea pod/Celine’s hand would get invited to happy hour before I would. Ok, you next.

Stacy: I'm so boring that even the crickets are annoyed.

Kris: Cornstarch is more flavorful than I am.

Stacy: Jerry Falwell is more entertained right now than I am.

OR

I've hit a flat line flatter than Falwell's.

Kris: Ah, excellent use of a current event reference. I’ll take either. Ok. I’m more lackluster than a Julie Delpy performance.

Stacy: OOOOH, SNAP! They named a new Care Bear after me: Apathy Bear. Or, you know. Whatever, I guess.

Kris: Tee hee hee. Ok. Here’s one: I’m more monotonous than your speaking voice.

Stacy: I'm deader than Lindsay Lohan's career.

Kris: I’m as lifeless as your split ends. (come on, bite . . .)

Stacy: That's not as bad as the fact that I'm more lifeless than your sex life.

Kris: I’m more off than the alignment of your eyes.

(e-pause)

Stacy: Touché, Danielson.

Kris: (catches fly with chopsticks.)