May 17, 2007
how the student became the teacher (told with some artistic license)
Kris: If you had to describe how boring we really are today, how would you do it?

Stacy: How boring WE are or how boring our jobs are?

Kris: Us. We’re pretty boring today. Neither of us has come up with anything snappy since the Spanish Civil War.

Stacy: Actually, I have an answer. Truthfully, the twitch in my left eye is the most excitement I've had all day. I'm trying to see if there's a pattern to it. Like, onetwothree...onetwo...onetwothree or something.

Kris: Good one. I’m so boring I’m pretty sure those stupid Anne Geddes babies sleeping in a mailbox/pea pod/Celine’s hand would get invited to happy hour before I would. Ok, you next.

Stacy: I'm so boring that even the crickets are annoyed.

Kris: Cornstarch is more flavorful than I am.

Stacy: Jerry Falwell is more entertained right now than I am.


I've hit a flat line flatter than Falwell's.

Kris: Ah, excellent use of a current event reference. I’ll take either. Ok. I’m more lackluster than a Julie Delpy performance.

OOOOH, SNAP! They named a new Care Bear after me: Apathy Bear. Or, you know. Whatever, I guess.

Kris: Tee hee hee. Ok. Here’s one: I’m more monotonous than your speaking voice.

Stacy: I'm deader than Lindsay Lohan's career.

Kris: I’m as lifeless as your split ends. (come on, bite . . .)

Stacy: That's not as bad as the fact that I'm more lifeless than your sex life.

Kris: I’m more off than the alignment of your eyes.


Touché, Danielson.

Kris: (catches fly with chopsticks.)



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so bored I'M READING *YOUR* BLOG.

Blogger kris said...

I'm so bored I'm thinking of new things to do with your boyfriend.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm lazier than Paris Hilton's wonky eye.

Blogger kris said...

I'm as tiresome as your storytelling.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm having about as much fun as the guy who took your virginity when you were 30.

Blogger *kb* said...

Too funny!! Thanks for entertaining another bored girl!

Blogger janet said...

I'm so bored that this conversation is actually thrilling me :)

Blogger kris said...

I'm staler than your morning breath.

Blogger Alison said...

I'm so boring that your boringness is way more interesting than I am.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm more blah than the color of your teeth, is all I'm saying.

Blogger kris said...

I'm flatter than your highlights.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm having about as much fun as the Peeping Tom who used to come by your house - the one who became narcoleptic, not the one who got caught because he fell asleep in the bushes watching you change.

Blogger LMNt said...

"I’m so boring I’m pretty sure those stupid Anne Geddes babies sleeping in a mailbox/pea pod/Celine’s hand would get invited to happy hour before I would."

Consider yourself (and anyone else you know who'd enjoy it) invited to happy hour. There's even bribes.

I asked the babies first, though.

Blogger kris said...

I'm lost like Jurgen's manhood.

Blogger Heather B. said...

I'm so bored that I'm sitting here smelling my hair. And wondering where I should go for happy hour tomorrow night. In DC (Cough, cough, cough).

Blogger kris said...

HB, are you putting us on? Like Stacy does her Wonderbra?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or like Kris puts on her geriatric incontinence diapers? Which one, HB, for I must know.

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

This conversation is flatter than your singing voice, lov-ah...

Blogger Tracy Lynn said...

You guys are way more interesting than me. But then, so's YEAST.


Blogger Heather B. said...

Have nothing witty in response, except: YES. I am serious.

Blogger Lola Goetz said...

hahahah! i love you guys.

i'm so boring i make myself yawn. so, will you two make me yawn in july? please?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did we not come through for you last year, lola? We'll be badder and drunker this year. We should have t-shirts! RAWK.

Blogger Jorge said...


I slept through this entry.

Did something happen?


Blogger amyella said...

This is one of my favorite entries evah.

Because my life is so boring, that reading this entry was the highlight of my day.

Blogger Jake said...

I think my head just exploded from the awesomeness of this entry and subsequent comment smackdown.

Kris = Domination Station.

Or, you know, domstat (pronounced dom-staysh for you old people out there).

Also, I'm so boring, I invent quotes for

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