February 13, 2007
on motherhood
I am a mother. I may not be a mother in the way that some of you are, but I am a mother nonetheless. I did not give birth to the furry creatures that sleep in my bed, one on my king-sized pillow and the other to my right with a calico tail smacking my face, but they are my children.

And as a mother, I know I’m supposed to find all that they do adorable. And I used to. Like Bug’s ability to talk, to make the noise of pigeons, only more substantial and with considerably more fervor. I call it his trilling, and he once reserved its use for important moments, like getting my attention so I’d help him up on the windowsill, or to save me from stepping into the feline-forbidden stream of water behind the glass doors in the bathroom, or to tell me precisely where it was that Timmy fell into the well.

But now my dear child uses his words much more often than mommy would like. At 5 am, when he trills incessantly until I wake up, wanting that teaspoonful of kibble that will apparently fill his miniature stomach until he eats again in 20 minutes. Or when repeated attempts at opening a cabinet door sadly fail, and he needs help opening said door to reveal a very important whole lot of nothing on which he will promptly turn his back and resume the licking of obscene body parts.

As a mother, I must ask: how often is it that you want to lock your beloved little ones in a closet? Or put them in a pillowcase? Or repeatedly blow on their ears when they are trying to sleep just because you know that they hate it?

Or maybe this just means I really am a mother.

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28 Comments:

Anonymous Jorge said...

Last line: BINGO

Our furballs do the same thing. It's become worse since we moved into the new house, as if they feel entitled to piss us off for disrupting their lives.

In the end, though...

They're still cute.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Hee hee hee hee hee.

Just because you love them doesn't mean they don't make you crazy every now and again.

My cat attacks people. Like... as in, actively, visciously attacks visitors. And usually only the ones who are scared of cats.

Aw, I miss my widdle guard attack kidden.

Anonymous Alison said...

Oh, you are definitely a mother.

Blogger Matt said...

I used to love taking revenge on my dog by waking him up when he was napping. I'd insist that that was the time to go out for a walk. Not sure he got the sarcasm but he was just as groutchy as me.

Haha this made me laugh so hard tears came out. I love that I can totally relate to this and my friends call me "the crazy cat lady."

Or repeatedly blow on their ears when they are trying to sleep just because you know that they hate it?
Haha, I'm always doing this to my cat.

Blogger kris said...

I heart that I'm not alone in terrorizing my offspring.

Anonymous Karly said...

You are must definitely a mother. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be a mother with out considering locking the children in the closet. Just don't ever actually do it, and you're fine.

Blogger Mrs.Quad said...

You ARE a mother.
moth·er 1 (mŭth'ər)
n.

A female parent of an animal.
A female ancestor.
A woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother: a den mother.
A woman who creates, originates, or founds something: "the discovery of radium, which made Marie Curie mother to the Atomic Age" (Alden Whitman).
A creative source; an origin: Philosophy is the mother of the sciences.
Used as a title for a woman respected for her wisdom and age.

I love your blog. OH and I "tagged" you for that very reason!

Blogger Mel said...

As a mother of two chirping kitties, I can sympathize. They do something to irritate me daily. But usually right after, they do something ridiculously cute that tugs my heart-strings. Damned cats.

Oh, and the ear blowing? Guilty as charged.

Blogger Rebecca said...

Yeah, my cat just runs around crying for no apparent reason. Occasionally, it's set off by her hearing the people above me. I think she's upset that there is an outside world, but I'm not sure.

And I don't blow on her ears, but I do tickle her stomach while she's asleep. I'm sorry, she doesn't want it tickled, she shouldn't expose it like that...

Blogger Rebecca said...

Yeah, my cat just runs around crying for no apparent reason. Occasionally, it's set off by her hearing the people above me. I think she's upset that there is an outside world, but I'm not sure.

And I don't blow on her ears, but I do tickle her stomach while she's asleep. I'm sorry, she doesn't want it tickled, she shouldn't expose it like that...

Anonymous Josie said...

Oh, you're a mother.
I'm a single mom to a 16 yr old and I love to torment him.
I figure it makes up for no brothers or sisters and enables me a little payback for all the annoying / exasperating things teenage boys do.
Needless to say, its built character and an awesome sense of humour in him.

Blogger DDL said...

I want to do all of those things to my furry little babies on a regular basis. I also like rubbing my hand over their just licked clean fur. It never fails to initiate a frenzy of cleaning to remove my scent.

Blogger Kelly said...

You've inspired a mothering-desire, Kris!

Kitties!

Blogger bandick said...

Pillow cases = good

Wire hangers = bad

Blogger t2ed said...

I thought you had to either regurgitate nourishment or use spit to clean your progeny to count as a mother.

Hope you either like tuna or have an overactive salivary gland.

Blogger Maethane Boy said...

My cat's nickname was "Crack Baby". Though he is no longer with us (and it's not because of what you are thinking), I really miss our little monster...

Blogger Brookelina said...

I would really like it if you blew in my ears.

Anonymous gorillabuns said...

the difference between your baby and my kids are, well, nada! i'm sure you are alot more patient than i am with the 5am wake up visit. i croak, get your chocolate milk from the fridge and turn on the t.v. i'll be there in a couple of hours.

no wonder they hate me.

Blogger Amy said...

My first response was to think you are indeed a mother until I realized you were not wearing earplugs to bed. Dead give away ;)

Blogger JordanBaker said...

This is like those "scared straight" lectures during high school where they try to get you not to want drugs or sex, isn't it?

Anonymous Jorge said...

ジェネヴィーヴ - You think you're so cool with your foreign character set.

Well..

Er..

You are.

DAMMIT!

I want to have a foreign character set!

éééééééééééééééééé

Blogger Gwen said...

I've had cats and I've had kids (okay, I still have the kids) and in general, I think I might possibly prefer the kids, with an option to change my mind at a moment's notice. The older cats get, the more they seem to need. The good thing about kids is that the older they get, the less they need. Unfortunately, however, your need for them doesn't diminish. Which may be an all together different reason to lock them in a closet.

Blogger missbhavens said...

How often? OFTEN!

See, that's what makes you a mother, and it's what keeps my fiancee from being one.

Understanding and embracing that feeling has become the "can't we please..." vs. "no we can't" get another dog.

I feel it. He doesn't. It's a big, big problem.

So can I move in with you?

Blogger PaintingChef said...

Hopefully? It just meands you're a mother. Because I'm the same way with my furry children.

And I ALWAYS blow on their ears when they're sleeping. And possibly when they're awake as well...

Blogger MC said...

Oh, I love annoying my Lucy. Haven't blown in her ears, but I'll have to try it.

Blogger Libby said...

ha. Bug sounds just like our little girl, Bella. Just last night we were comparing her to that obnoxious little cheerleader who yammers incessantly on her cell phone in that sprint commercial. Only I fairly sure our girl could give that cheerleader a run for her money!

Blogger Sanora said...

One of my little adorable tots jumps up on the stand to look out the bedroom window at 4 a.m. (every freakin' morning) and then taps on the venetian blind with her paw whether it's open or closed - tap, tap, tap...I finally just figured out that when it's open, it has to be open to above her head so she doesn't have to duck to look out on the empty back lawn and then and only then will she stop tapping.

Obviously, you have stumbled upon major truth for me with this post.

p.s. It's good to be back.

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