January 19, 2007
Overheard in the Shenandoah (Or Why No One Invites Me for Dessert Anymore)


* Photo and artistic license with the following courtesy of Kim and her GD Notebook. Ahem.

I spent the first weekend of 2007 in the setting we all know Kris loves best: a cabin in the Virginia mountains without track lighting, a package store with free wine refills or reliable cell phone service. (Oh, and numerous cruel stories about the resurgance of rural cyborgs, but apparently it's not cool to cry over your s'mores, p*ssy.) But it was all for a good cause; each beer we consumed both raised money for Jerry's Kids and - arguably more important - celebrated the years our dear Kim spent inventing the text message and supporting her "Buds Across America" campaign.

The following was overheard on afternoon #1, and shall not be forgotten until at least evening #859,324 of all of our young lives:

Kris, to group of camper friends and Kim's perv dog, who could not seem to stop showing the bare essentials of his ass to all who mistakenly looked toward it: Seriously? I don't know what's going on with your dog, but he sure has shown us enough of his piehole this weekend.

Kim, pursing lips to foreshadow impending blogger friend embarrassment: Kris?

Kris, to her empty wine glass and said imminent embarrassment: Yes?

Kim: How exactly do you eat pie?

I'm not sure, but I may not be invited back next year.

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16 Comments:

Anonymous Jorge said...

Linkin Park once said...

In the end, it doesn't really matter.

Just let it be, child.

Let it be.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure this is but one of the many nasty side effects of beer on a wine drinker's brain. Blame beer. Beer is dangerous.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christ that's fabulous.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for allowing us to laugh at your humiliation. It was worth getting out bed this morning just for that.

Your future husband is on SNL this week, krispriven. And he looks HAWT!

On a completely different note, have you noticed that one part of your ZoomCloud reads "gradually gay ish"? *snort*

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep!!!! You are a cat person. Dogs are without a doubt on of the most gross creatures on the planet. No other animal takes more pride in being a dirty, stinky ass showing, slobber slinging, leg humping slob. Than a good dog!

Anonymous wordgirl said...

Well...the truth hurts...about the the dog showing his ass and everything.

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

I make slips like that all the time. I HATE it when people catch them;)

Anonymous dharmabumx said...

I just fell out of my chair laughing. I so needed a good laugh this afternoon! Thanks for sharing your most endearing, alcohol infused moments:)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG - you are hysterical. That kills me.

By the way, you're not the only Krispiven in town, beeyotch. ;)

Blogger Kim said...

Now that's a good looking dog!

Sweetheart, of course you'll be invited back. If you weren't there, who else would we make fun of? I mean other than Glenn.

However, you are not allowed to ever, I mean ever, watch another Cowboys game with Kyle. He was very upset about the "So, when did you girls first get your periods?" question in the middle of the oh-so intense game.

Blogger Amber said...

Personally, I would totally invite you to every function I was at, simply because I would know things would never be dull. And if they WERE dull, it would only be that way for other people, as you and I would amuse ourselves by merrily chatting about our cats. We're just. That. Good.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmmmm. Pie.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"With your teeth"

I would totally invite you to every party I EVER had because you're fun, smart and a rock star.

So there!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

p.s. And what kind of idiot would allow your wine glass to be empty???

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmmm. Camping.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or, they're totally going to invite you back and enter you in the local pie eating contest.

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