February 11, 2007
Tough cookies. Part I.
I spend an inordinate amount of time totally absorbed by food and what will I eat next and did I eat too much and how many points are in this dressing? I know they say that analysis leads to paralysis - in my case, analysis about food leads to overconsumption and then a little more for good measure.

And what I can't figure out, despite years of said analysis, is why the equation is so difficult to maintain.

Ahem:
EAT FEWER AND BETTER FOODS + GET OFF YOUR ASS EVEN A TINY, LITTLE BIT = FITTING INTO YOUR SKINNY PANTS AND FEELING DAMN, SHAKE YOUR ASS GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF
At this point, I hear you thinking two things, despite your attempts to keep the volume down:

1) this is an age-old question, sweet Kris, just like Why was Don Rickles ever famous? and Why didn't Eglesias remove the mole sooner? If we knew the answer to the questions of weight loss difficulty, we'd be rich, or dead, like the Diet Doctor.

2) it isn't that easy. It's really quite hard as, dear Kris, you've forgotten the confounding variables of metabolism and PMS and being on the pill and being allergic to meth and having no date, wedding or beach vacation with BOYS to provide the stimulus to get in shake your ass shape.

And I get all that. But when it comes down to it, at least for me, the equation works . . . pretty well, and pretty easily.

Stop eating. Get on the treadmill.

Oh, and stop drinking.

Gulp.

Labels:



36 Comments:

Blogger Wicked H said...

No, no, no! We cannot give up the juice. Just be on the treadmill a little longer. It's all good my friend.

Anonymous zandria said...

And the weather sure isn't making it any easier! Who wants to walk around outside when it's SO FREAKIN' COLD? Not many people, I'll tell you that.

Blogger t2ed said...

I had an idea for a diet book.

It was called "Eat Less, Move Around More." I couldn't find a publisher. They said it would never work.

It is perfectly acceptable to count shivering as exercise points though.

Anonymous clea said...

I wish I was allergic to meth.

Anonymous Jorge said...

You want to lose some pounds? Do what I did.
Spend a week moving and renovating, staying up until 3 AM every day and skipping at least one meal each day for that week.

And then move into a vallye where you have to walk a mile uphill to get to the bus stop.

Guaranteed 15 lbs!

Let me know if you need to get into shake-yo-ass shape. I'll bring the boom box, 80's style. Along with cardboard for some of our mad breakin' skillz.

Anonymous Alison said...

Oh, I am so with you on this.

Gulp, indeed.

It was that last one that killed me, "stop drinking"? Why I never!

Blogger KB said...

take dance class with me! EASY solution! :)

Anonymous gorillabuns said...

therein lies the problem, i am nothing if i don't have my booze.

Blogger Danielle said...

i definitely hear ya. i have always had a food obsession. i was even obsessed when i was on weight watchers in the past, but i actually found something that is working well for me now. it's nutrisystem, and i'm going to post about it this week. i started after new year's and have lost 12 pounds so far on it. i like it because if i am craving mac and cheese or a chocolate bar, i can have it, it's just the stuff they send me, so it is portion controlled. anyway, it's not for everyone, but i am liking it because it's easy.

i'm also going on the bike because i will NOT go on a treadmill. i hate them. i worked it into my daily schedule by watching jeopardy on it. i know, i'm a big dork, but now it's part of my routine.

Blogger Lisa said...

Oh, ugh. This totally resonated with me. All I can say is, giving up alcohol in February is an unwise proposition. Things to bear in mind: Alcohol has no fat. Wine is good for your heart. Beer has trace amounts of protein! And B vitamins!

Blogger Love Monkey said...

nobody wants to hear it. But diet and exercise is the way. (some would say Jesus but this isn't that kind of post.) Just try to get in a routine. And try not to break it. That's my best advice.

Blogger janet said...

Ugh you are so right and I so need to do this. Why does something so easy seem so hard at the same time?!?!

Blogger playfulinnc said...

Stress will sabatoge any efforts. Seriously.

And for me, the only way I have ever lost weight is to both eat and burn.
Eat..burn it off. Rinse, repeat.

I cut back on drinking and GAINED. Jesus.

Back on the treadmill for me.

Don't stop drinking, please...I am in need of a morning after hair pic from you!

Blogger Sizzle said...

as a woman who recently gave up sugar in the middle of PMSing, i feel your pain sistah. i know i feel SO much better when i shake my ass and yet, i don't. totally annoying!

why was don rickles ever famous? no. really! why?!

Blogger Megarita said...

It's not even that we're trying to get normal; it's that we're often trying to be crazy. I've got a beach vacation in a month and my house is filled with post-its saying, "BIKINI." I'm hoping this inspires a month-long fast while I keep up my normal workout. getting older blows, in a nutshell.

Anonymous nabbalicious said...

I definitely factor the booze into my daily points! I'm dead without it.

A friend and I once said that we thought a good WW menu for a day would be twelve margaritas and a peanut.

The most exercising I can make myself do these days is 60 crunches on a medicine ball every other day.
I still have thigh rolls. Do those ever go away once you have them? I'm skinny! Why do I have thigh rolls? :(

I switched from beer to vodka when out drinking. Less carbs? At least I hope so....

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Haha-- I had a friend in college who would eat one big bagel over the course of the day so that she could blow all her WW points on beer. Pretty healthy...

Winter is impossible for losing weight, especially now that it's so cold that I don't want to take even my usual walks. Hang in there... when the cold snap ends, I bet it will be easier to feel motivated and eat a bit lighter. :)

Blogger Hey Pretty said...

I'm a total lush myself, but I have found that eating my veggies always helps me lose weight.

Blogger kris said...

I think you guys are just afraid that this blog will get uberboring should I give up the wine . . .

That's valid. ;)

Blogger Kim said...

Have I mentioned yet that I've lost 13 lbs? Just sayin'.


And, yes, we are afraid you'd be a bore w/o the vino. For the sake of your readers, please keep drinking.

Blogger kris said...

I'm pretty sure you meant for the sake of our friendship . . .

Blogger whiskeymarie said...

I've been fairly successful these days getting in shape, but IT IS HARD. I find I have to work out at least 1 to 1-1/2 hours at least 5 times a week, and I basically have to live on egg whites and hay. I have chosen to continue to have my many glasses of wine whenever I feel like it, as work sucks and wine doesn't. I am quite sure that if I quit consuming those empty calories, things would move along quicker, but since I'm getting o.k. results I'm willing to work harder.
Life without wine is not a life I want.

Anonymous Married Jen said...

Only reason WW works for me is that I can use my flex points (and other points!) for drinking. It's hard to count the number of drinks you've had though :)

Story of my life -- "I wonder how many points this has???"

Anonymous Chaos Control said...

Welcome to my world ... constantly thinking about food and what to or what not to eat. Counting points. Trying to save enough for my nightly glass of wine. And trying to find time to work out. Oh, and work nearly full time, spend quality time with my pre-schooler, and stay connected with my husband. UGH! Not enough time in the day!!

Blogger yournamehere said...

Kris, as Jim Beam is my witness, I shall never drink less.

Blogger justjenny said...

I started drinking less and didn't lose any weight. However, when drinking a lot, I also wound up throwing up a lot, so maybe I wasn't really keeping any of those calories...

Blogger Amy said...

Something I am battling at the moment. Will NOT drinking my nightly wine impact my weight loss? I am thinking probably but so hard to do without. That is my leisure/reward for a day done dammit! (Yeah, AA could be my friend, I know...)

Blogger Wanderlusting said...

Dear me, you've read my mind.

Thing is, even though my weight is a day to day struggle, I know excercising will make it easier.

I just wish I wasn't such a lazy bastard.

However, there is nothing like a little motivation. I've got an interview with the director of The Office on Thursday, so I think I am going to be working out and not eating for about 72 straight hours.

Sigh.

Blogger Wanderlusting said...

And, btw, there is some evidence that drinking red wine might actually help your metabolism! Granted it's probably not over a glass a night, but hey ya gotta cut down somewhere.

Blogger Keith said...

I've been losing weight since I increased my drinking...I just changed from beer to wine and vodka (not mixed). I'm thinking that I'm gonna stay the course until the scale tells me otherwise. And of course, I find that when I exercise, I can maintain that fine line between being amusingly buzzed before turning into a sloppy drunk for much much longer. Viva vino!

Blogger Samantha said...

I moved my scale into kitchen, every time I walk in there for snack seeing that thing turns me right around. Luckily my wine is not kept in the kitchen.

Blogger kris said...

I can't even tell you what a great idea I find that to be, Samantha. If I combined that with that Radio Flyer full of fat that Oprah brought on stage 10 years ago, I might never eat again. Good call.

Blogger Lady Latte said...

Whenever I take a break from drinking (which I attempt at least once a year just to make sure I still can), I end up eating tons of candy instead. My body is so used the alcohol sugar that I crave jelly beans and kitkat bars like addicts crave heroine. I think I'm better off with a glass or two of wine.

Blogger FATSO said...

I am sooo glad i am not alone on the wine thing.

Shit, i drink 2-3 glasses a day (thank goodness i work out) I really think the only reason I work out is so i can drink wine.

It was well-said here: life without wine is not a life I wish to contemplate.

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer