This time with feeling

And here we are: Today's version of the last post. Note the artistic license with the categories. Eh. I hope we can remain friends. With benefits.

10 years ago... Weight Watchers and I first met. I lived in a house where one woman would take others' perishables out of the fridge and leave them to rot on the counter. I pretended I was passed out when I didn't want to talk to two of three said roommates. Cornbread was my friend. I worked the noon to eight shift and sat in traffic for the rest of the day. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to embark on a four-year marathon of celibacy.

5 years ago... My fourth year of full-time, full-year, fully-taxing graduate school began. Sex finally came home to roost. I listened to 9/11 happen via NPR. I still wanted to hit cats with my car. You know, the same one I owned for the 10 years ago post.

1 year ago... I wasn't Cricket's Mom. My case contained one less trophy for being an "ex-girlfriend." Home was a 400-square-foot studio apartment made a one-bedroom by a poorly-placed wall. I didn't have any hobbies. Well, save blogging, which was starting to become a mild obsession.

Yesterday... I drank white wine. Against all WW sensibilities, I ordered a Wendy's Single with Cheese and Fries and requested 60 ketchup packets. Literally. My instructor just missed a smack in the head because he was so late for our swim class. I was almost brought to tears by the difficulty of our freestyle drills. I searched for new apartments and Googled an ex. I worked a full day and napped for 2.4 hours. I kissed a boy.

Today... I laughed with my mom like we were schoolgirls. I started to research SCUBA classes. I updated my clothing journal. I e-stalked several of you, hopefully without your (conscious) knowledge. A grumpy mood nearly overtook me but I remained buoyant. I was reminded just how much my approach to life has changed. Oh, and I drove home that same. damn. car.

Tomorrow...I'll have dinner with an ex-boyfriend's wife. I'll pretend to like at least one person in my life who I just. really. don't. I'll worry about the commute home hours before I get in the car. I'll spend less time with my kids than I should. Singing out loud in the car is bound to happen - mostly to Madonna but maybe some OPP - several times. I'll buy something I shouldn't at Target. I'll continue to contemplate confrontation.

5 snacks I enjoy...Goldfish snack crackers; spicy peanuts; an everything bagel with jalapeno cream cheese; Taco Bell nachos; anything involving blue cheese, with the obvious exception of blue cheese Goldfish snack crackers

5 songs I know all the words to...Lady Marmalade, sung by Pink, Mya, Missy M. -- oh, and that whore Christina; Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel; Love Will Keep Us Together, Captain & Tennille (yyyyeeeeahhh.); Come Clean, Hilary Duff; Cowboy Take Me Away, Dixie Chicks. Yes, my Nano collection really is that bad.

5 regrets... Cheating on an ex-boyfriend; not knowing how to take care of myself while I was in college; at age five, forcing my father to take me to the bathroom at Disney, resulting in him missing the mega-fireworks show; filming The Lake House (wait, that one SO wasn't on me); being a part of the nasty side of sorority rush.

5 television shows I watch weekly... Old CSIs Tivo'd off of Spike; Access Hollywood (I heart you, Billy Bush); 48 Hours Mystery/Hard Evidence/City Confidential/Cold Case Files/Investigators/First 48/Without A Trace/Cold Case/Forensic Files/Masterminds/North Mission Road; Huff

5 things I would do with $100,000,000... (1) Seek out someone to make my father healthy again (2) Pay Oprah to put someone else on her magazine cover FOR ONCE (3) Give to the kitty shelter (4) pay Puck to follow Rachel around for another full year, and (5) buy working cars/attractive wall trimmings/new noses and pay off ridiculous debt for the people I love.

5 locations I would love to run away to... the Egyptian Pyramids; that hotel and that time in San Francisco; the very blue and white Greek Islands, just as they look on the Internets; Belize as it just was in December; my parents' spare bedroom

5 things I hate doing... talking on the phone; babysitting human children; calling for pizza; Virginia/Maryland residents who DON'T METRO TO NATIONALS GAMES; my annual exam.

5 things I like doing... lying on the couch with Bug resting on my chest; sleeping post-tanning in a hotel bed with the sheets pulled taut and the air conditioning on high; dancing while tipsy to fantastically awful 80's and 90's pop; being surrounded by warm water, whether it be in the shower or the Gulf of Mexico; waking up in another country.

5 things I would never wear... novelty socks; a fanny pack; a belly chain; a black bra/white tank top combo; a size 4 ANYTHING. (Wow, that one was easy.)

5 recently seen movies I like... I have not seen a truly good movie in ages. I kid you not - I think the last movie I loved in the theater was In Good Company, which made me want to a) grow old in Dennis Quaid's meaty, muscular, manly arms, and b) don bell bottoms and get baked out of my mind with Topher.

5 famous people I'd like to meet... Jennifer Aniston (How are you effing surviving this awful Brangelina thing?); Dayle Hinman (So what was the absolute worst crime scene you've been to?); Madonna (Are you still in love with Sean Penn?); Sylvia Plath (there's more than one question there, frankly); Russell Crowe (Want to have just one drink with me (in your Gladiator gear, of course)?)

5 biggest joys of the moment... the smell of chlorine on my skin; my steady relationship with my parents; my new sense of Me; Cricket's purr and coming home to see Bug's silhouette in the window closest to the door; this sense of security.