July 5, 2006
Take her down a notch
I think someone knew my Sassmeter was registering a little too high this weekend. Soaring off my first-ever waxing appointment (with a woman named Agnes, who in my plans was crinkly and 70, but instead was an amazingly hot 25 year old), a very fun weekend spent imbibing good wine and eating vindaloo and one of the more delicious hamburgers of my life, not to mention unexpected run-ins in the city with folks of my present and past, I swirled around town feeling like an A+, swimming, softballing, social superstar.

Until I closed my upper arm fat in my clutch as I tucked and latched it under my elbow.

Yes gods, make me humble.

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27 Comments:

Blogger Finn said...

Ouch! I hate when that happens. I certainly hope you had more wine to dull the pain. ;)

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I just spent a full four minutes trying to figure out why your upper arm was near the clutch pedal on your car. Durrrrr.

Blogger Wicked H said...

Vino will definitely take care of the pain. As an added bonus, you won't care, temporarily.

:-)

Blogger Brookelina said...

Ow ow ow. OW.

Blogger MKD said...

lol. Awesome. Once the fat of my ass squeezed my cell phone from my wee girl pockets in a public toilet and splash went my phone...

Blogger Anisa said...

OUCH!

you are so fabulous...love this post, social superstah'!

Blogger Megarita said...

Hahahaaha! I had to re-enact this to figure out what you had done. That sucks! Tricep kickbacks all around!

Blogger Amanda said...

sounds like a painful weekend...with the arm closed in latch thing and the waxing. wow, girl. good thing there was liquor.

Blogger Biscuit said...

Oh, ow! Those teeeny little pinches really smart.

Waxed by a hot girl, huh? Damn. I don't know you well enough to go there...

Blogger Sizzle said...

ouch! time for a new purse? ;)

Anonymous Jorge said...

That happens to me, too.
I'm related to the flying squirrel though.

:)

Anonymous Jorge said...

That happens to me, too.
I'm related to the flying squirrel though.

:)

Blogger Egan said...

..you're still in the running...

Anonymous janet said...

haaa, i swear this always happens to me, but usually not til later when I look at photos of something where I thought I looked hot, but no, I had a double chin and a lazy eye all night.

Blogger Jackie said...

Hahahah!! The same shit happens to me all the time. I'll be walking down the street in some hot outfit, impressed with myself for looking put together for once, and trip on my heels.

In front of hot construction workers (a perpetual fantasy for me).

See? Humble is just my way of life.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeet.

Blogger missbhavens said...

Vindaloo in July!

You are a brave little toaster, you are!

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Sweetie, if you even felt it, you obviously didn't have enough vino...the gods were trying to tell you something...DRINK silly!!!

Hugs from the Bridg-ster...your sister in good drinking....habits....

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

p.s. visited friends' cottage over the weekend. Met family of half of the couple. Fell downhill. Picked myself up, walked back to cottage to take meds, head down. Walked right into open window, gashed head.

All this on ONE beer.

Didn't dare drink any more that day, didn't want stories going around about the drunk....

sigh.

We're related, I think, Kris....

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

At least you weren't humbled by accidentaly peeing your pants.

Blogger goldennib said...

I do shit like that all of the time.

Blogger kimmay said...

i bet zoe's love nips can help you get your arm out of your clutch. :)

Blogger Cheryl said...
Blogger Bill said...

Quit your whining. I once caught my pecker in my zipper (somewhat like Ben Stiller in that movie). Now THAT's something to howl about.

(And that was the last time I dressed commando style.)

Blogger t2ed said...

Is the Sassmeter 2000 made by the fine folks at Ronco?

Cause mine's been on the fritz since about 1997 and I definitely need to replace it.

Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

How in the hell did you manage to accomplish that? Is that really possible. You'd need large amounts of upper arm fat and from your pics, I just don't see it.

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