July 24, 2005
Honesty is such a lonely word
This topic has been trying to hatch in my brain for some time now, but I successfully had convinced it to remain in its shell for at least a few more weeks. That was until Pink Lemonade Diva - or more specifically, her mother - unplugged the idea incubator and handed me the pen.

You see, PLD's mother told her that during her weekend visit home she wanted to:

A) teach her Gammy's secret recipe for double chocolate brownies? Delish, but no.
B) talk about their annual summer trip to the Cape? Not even close.
C) DISCUSS THE CONTENTS OF HER BLOG? Ding ding ding ding!
What does she win, Don? In my world, this would equate to standing on my head in front of my parents and my 1991 youth minister with nothing on but barrettes.

I had an immediate visceral reaction to this posting. Alert! Alert! It was the sick feeling you had in high school when your mom came home early; your underwear was somewhere in the hallway and you and your 17-year-old, acned boyfriend were engaged in heavy petting on the bottom bunk. It was the reaction when, in the heat of an argument with a parent, you first immaturely blurt "I hate you!" only to see the slap of disappointment hit them square in the face.

My uneasiness only circled the issue in big black ink yet again: despite a close relationship, my parents only know part of who I am.

The Kris they know and love was an honors student who did the right things. She sang Neil Diamond's Coming to America in the fourth grade talent show clad in a white ruffled shirt and aqua pants. She didn't drink her first Bartles and James wine cooler until she was almost free of high school. Their Kris ran coffee hours and screenings of Cary Grant movies at nursing homes. She was awful at sports but knew how to make a mean chocolate milkshake.

Their Kris would never have hitched a ride across town from an unknown Camaro-driving man who she met pumping gas at the Chevron next to her house (and she certainly would never have gotten into his backseat). She would not have picked up a smoking habit - even one she for all intents and purposes would eventually kick. God love her, she would never, ever have gone further than heavy petting, and wouldn't under any circumstances have done it anywhere near the living room floor of her childhood home.

And another thing. She would certainly never share with perfect strangers those things to which her parents would never be privy.

But would it be so bad if she did?

Labels:



32 Comments:

Anonymous Jorge said...

You know something?

I'm glad that she does. :)

J

Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

There are things you should keep from your parents. I get along great with mine, but still don't tell them everything. Remember, you can still be honest by remaining silent.

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Right on, ZS.

i am so glad i don't have to worry about that. my father is lucky if he can even turn on the computer. and though my mother can turn on the computer and check her email, she wouldn't understand what a blog was if it stared her in the face. so i think i'm good.

Blogger Tao said...

I agree with ZS too!

Blogger oregano said...

I have to disagree.

Somewhere along the highway of my adult life, I made the decision to be completely authentic with my folks. They get all of me, whether it is a vintage chardonnay or boxed wine.

It has been quite liberating. My relationship with them has never been better.

Blogger deanne said...

Me, my mother and my sister are all really close - they both read my blog (I think my mum skims over the sex posts though). Part of the reason why I'm comfortable with them doing so, is because they know the shit I talk about on my blog is stuff I'd talk to them about face to face.

Blogger Mel said...

Ha.. living room floor... brings back memories...

I told my Mom about the Blog before I started writing it... and at the first mention of sex she claims she stopped reading.

I know that she stills reads daily to check up on me. It's just like reading my diary... she can't leave it alone.

It wouldn't hurt to tell them - only if your writing style doesn't change. A more conservative Kris on the horizon? I don't think I could deal with it...

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

I don't know why but as I get older, I feel like sharing things with my mom that I did when I was under her "roof", "thumb", Etc. She always stops me with, "I don't want to know this, tell me on my death bed". Even now at 25, married with two kids, a mortgage and job, she still was irked that I got another tattoo! Her words, "are you going to just cover your whole body? I guess you are grown up and you an do what ever you want." But I still see the dissapointment, or sometimes jealousy in her eyes. Its weird how we still worry about our parents reactions, dissapointments and proudness (is that even a word?)

Blogger Kim said...

I am so glad my mom doesn't even know how to turn the computer on and that my dad is the type that would never ever bring it up if he had read it.

Blogger kitkat said...

min pin--pride?

Anyway, I think I might have ended all communication with my mother on my blog. Inadvertantly, of course. She thought I was being rude--in some circles, perhaps, but it's rough in our family.

Sometimes I don't write stuff about sex because I think my padres might be reading it. Then again, I'm married, and do, on occasion, engage in that sort of thing. Read at your own risk, I say.

I heard nuthin, saw nuthin and I'm sayin' nuthin'.

Unless I get Bribed with the brownies, then I'll squeal like I'm starring in the off Broadway production of "Deliverence".
I'm weak like that.

Blogger Jason said...

Only one or two people from outside the blogging world read my blog that I know of (but I won't rat them out), but no family members. Maybe I'll out myself some day, but so far there's been no need.

Blogger lizzyjane said...

Oh dear....the lifelong struggle of parental relationships. It makes me nauseous just thinking of it. Sometimes I think parental relationships are THE most complicated relationship on earth. Mostly because they seem to change dramatically every 5-10 years. Going from complete love and devotion as a 5 year old, to utter frustration and anger at 15...it gets confusing and scary. And I can only imagine how hard it is for them as well. 'My baby used to love me, and now she won't even let me drive her to the mall"
And THEN once you hit 25, you have to somehow be FRIENDS with your parents. Does it ever end?

Blogger lizzyjane said...

I LOVE my link!!!!!!!!

Blogger Jason said...

Hottie Kris,

At this point I think my parents have figured me out, but I still scare them as they're pretty risk averse, and I've gone out on quite a few limbs the last few years. In my mid 20s, definitely not, nor was it worth telling them. They just wouldn't get it.

As for blogging -- cute, but just to show how out of it I am, I hadn't even thought about doobs when I used the word "joint." Such a fogey am I.

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I'm extremely open with my parents, at the price of them being extremely open with me. "Painfully honest" is an apt term to describe it.

Anonymous Jorge said...

My parents don't know much of me. Although they think they do.

Blogger Marissa said...

Kris - this is TOO funny. I could have written this post myself! As I"m getting older, the parts of myself my parents would hate are starting to become a little more apparent, but to them, I was also a goody two shoes of a girl who didn't drink, smoke or - gasp - have sex!! (btw, I didn't have my first wine cooler till senior year of high school - and I got drunk of 3 sips of it! Those were the days....)

Awesome post!

Blogger Alecia said...

I've kind of always operated under the assumption that my parents know more about me than they are letting on...and either choose to ignore it, or choose not to believe it. And that they are also much, much more open minded and accepting than I will ever give them credit for.

For example, when I was thirteen or fourteen and snuck out of the family hotel room to hang out with a cute boy until 6 in the morning...somehow it got back to my mom. She finally broached the subject last summer (a full ten years later). The thing is, she just laughed about it, and wanted to know why I didn't just tell her.

Of course, even though I know all of this, I still only tell them the PG Goody Two Shoes Snippets of my life. They don't know about my blog, and unless they hear about it from someone else or figure out what google is, they probably never will.

Blogger Kat said...

I had to stop thinking about WHO was reading my blog. It was affecting how I wrote.

I am not sure how my parents would react, my best friend told me that she is a little embarrassed by the content. But then she is mormon, so...

Blogger deanne said...

Yep - my parents (well, my mother for sure) know who I am, so the stuff I post never comes as a surprise to her, or makes her think "Gee that doesn't sound like Deanne!"

Blogger Kiki said...

I would be so mortified if my dad found my blog.

I've said this before, but in a way I kindof wished he did so he could get to know me a little better, but then I remember....

I would be so mortified if my dad found my blog.

Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

happy to say I survived the visit. Must post my mother's concerns...

Blogger Amanda said...

my mom reads my blog...i wish i didn't subconsciously remind myself of this when i sit down to write...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you sound like you could be a contributor for this http://bittersistas.blogspot.com/

Blogger Cindy St. Onge said...

I know that icky, red-faced feeling.
Love the comment about standing on your head in front of your parents and yourth minister with nothing but barrettes on. Smashing! Funny posts, and the headings are a riot in and of themselves.

Anonymous Vermont Neighbor said...

Family conversation: it's a give and take and not always fun. In fact, it's honor. Duty. Commitment. Effort!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Custom engagement rings, fine jewelry design, diamonds, colored gemstones and
antique jewelry are among our specialties. Please visit our on-line galleries of fine
jewelry, custom engagement rings and beautiful gemstones.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello people.Winter good time!
This is best.
Best ski:jay peak ski resort
Best credit secret:pay victorias secret credit card
Best house:real estate in charlotte north carolina
Best forex info:forex training course currency trading
This is cool:punishment enema picture

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good-girl-turned-bad Britney Spears has topped an eclectic list of the net’s most popular searches
n the run-up to Christmas. The popstar,who hit the headlines last week for stepping out
“commando” with her new best friend Paris Hilton,has helped revealed exactly what the internet
savvy are looking for from their stars - the thick and the dead.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer