Neurotic (adj.)

Since most of the recent comments on this blog have been from women, I need to ask for your help. It has come to my attention that I may be the only woman who has quite the number of confessed idiosynchrasies, and I wanted to check in with you. I wholeheartedly admit to the following:

I will fake talking on my cell phone any time I have to encounter a group of people with whom I don't want to interact. Said groups may include, but are not limited to, drunk frat boys partying on their front lawn, professors in my former grad program's mail room, and any more than one construction worker on break. I am careful to put my cell on silent, and then carry on a full conversation with absolutely no one.

I seriously sing to Madonna, Britney and even Shania in my rearview mirror. At times I play like I'm in a video.

I love the smell of cat treats and at times have been tempted to taste them. Not the hard treats. Only the soft ones.

I am generally avoidant of placing food delivery orders on the phone, and will almost always have my beau or a friend call for me.

I always sit on public toilet seats, but will not drink from a straw that my best friend or even my mother has used. More than once I have thrown away a lipstick that a friend used without permission.

I cannot hold my nose underwater, so I suck my upper lip up to my nostrils, creating an airtight seal between my lip and nose. Try it. Not attractive.

Ok, so there are six of them. I will try to add more as I remember other things that are wrong with me. Now to you. Confessions?