July 30, 2007
a few things i took from blogher 2007
--It’s a little known fact that Chicago is actually located in the state of Mississippi, neighboring a massive swamp erroneously reported to be one of the Great Lakes. Tourists should be advised not to bother straightening their hair. Or applying makeup. Or showering.

-- Just when you think you’ve quite possibly exhausted the supply of amazing people in this universe, you meet another 50. You meet so many that it’s impossible to link to them here, because you know that in your current fatigued state, you’ll forget at least one, and you shall henceforth be referred to on her site as “the Drunk Ass on the Chicago Children’s Museum Balcony Who Said We’d Be BFFs But Then Totally E-dissed Me, but Not Before Impaling Herself on a Broken Wine Glass.” Those photos will clearly prevent me from pursuing the public office I have so long coveted.

-- The Blogosphere is a different place than it was even a year ago. The increased diversity is evident, and the rising acceptance of writers who don’t fall into the higher-profile blogging categories was even more noticeable. At no time did any participant ask me if I had children, and unlike last year, leave the conversation when I stated that I did not. Groups of women at cocktail party tables consisted of sex bloggers, parent bloggers, food writers, techies, and yes, personal bloggers. As Martha would say, it’s a good thing.

-- I’m not very good at attending conferences. When given the option of going to a session in which I’m actually interested and that might be good for my professional development, or lying in my fantastic hotel bed (after prompt removal of the decorative, hairy black cube atop my pillows - what was that thing? if you didn't have one, don't tell me, because i don't want to know what His Hairyness was . . .), I will clearly choose the latter. It’s hard to leave the bed when the air conditioning is holding steady at 61.

-- No man is an island, and no woman can subsist on wine, Marlboro Lights, and baked Doritos. Or 7 dollar Pringles pulled from their mini-bar slumber at 2 am. I’m calling Lindsay to see if we can bunk at Promises.

-- The Attractiveness setting on my camera is apparently broken and cannot be revived via new AAs. After seeing photos, will be considering rushed application for participation on this season's The Swan.

-- Approximately 1.4 billion dollars worth of Bliss products pilfered from hotel bathrooms and housekeeping carts. I have enough of a stash to be 80 and at the nursing home, rubbing Body Butter on Mr. Johnson’s bed sores in exchange for smokes.

I really should go back to bed.

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30 Comments:

Blogger Keith said...

Heh, love the attitude. I only ever attend one conference a year, and I have to help run it (well the technical side) so I don't get down time, but if I did, it would be either by the pool or in the room.

eDissing...fantastic new term as well. :)

Blogger Sizzle said...

humidity, thou art not a friend!

sounds like you had a fabulous time. i gotta get myself to blogher one if these years.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

Humidity is the Debbil. I cannot believe what it did to my hair. And skin! I look like Chris Farley after a marathon. You know, um, before he died.

ANYHOO.

I love how the cleaning woman kept putting the Pube Cube on your bed. Heh. I knew she deserved her tip. Or I knew she deserved it when our towels were completely orange from Cheeto dust. Yeah. Good times.

You're the best BFF and roommate ever. Love you.

Blogger Lord Fondleberries said...

i'm all choked up over the loss of yet another of my favorite peeps: ingmar bergman. not that this has anything to do with blogher (or perhaps it has everything to do with blogher but doesn't want us to know), but i thought i'd post that here, since it will not be mentioned on mine own blog.

Blogger Chris said...

yes, what was with that black hairy cube. scary.

So good to see you again. Three legged cats are so the next niche blogging group.

as soon as I can see again expect a text message from me

Blogger Average Jane said...

I was fortunate that the black, hairy cube was on my roommate's bed instead of mine. I found it alarming.

It was great to meet you after your session. I've been subscribing to your blog feed for a while now.

Blogger amanda said...

Ha--sounds like the black hairy cube would be reason enough to stay at the hostel option for next year.

Blogger Mamma said...

Okay, let me just tell you that meeting you and the girls was the highlight of my trip--well that and the really cool black furry cube on the bed in my room.

Now show the pictures of the wound would ya!

Blogger valbee said...

So, you were telling EVERYONE you'd be BFFs with them? And here I thought it was just me. HMMPH!

I owe you a pack of Marlboro Lights for bumming so many off of you. Let me know if you're ever in Toledo. They're probably cheaper here, but you can't smoke 'em in public.

And yes, show the photos of the wound!

Blogger supergirlest said...

...and she lived to tell the tale!!! good times!!!

i just thought you should know that your doppleganger lives in kansas city, missouri. i just saw her drive by my house in a while lexus. but she has reallyreally brown hair.

Blogger Lola Goetz said...

the cube kept winding up on my bed. it scared me & i threw it across the room every. damn. time.

going through withdrawals, missing all of my fabulous womens.

*loves*

Blogger metalia said...

I LOVE YOU. And your broke-ass knee.

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

Humidity should only be used as a torture device.

Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Uh huh. Uh huh. And I still smell like the Aveda shit soap my hotel provided. But, I did have free wi-fi and a lovely pastry breakfast spread every morning. Good times, girly! I'd do BlogHer again. I'd do Chicago again. Fuck it, I'd do you at a BlogHer conference in Chicago. Again.

Blogger tallglassofvino said...

and THIS is why i don't do blogher! (that and the non-existant vacation that comes with a new job!) You girls just get OUTTA HAND!! (not that that's a BAD thing!)

spend a long w/e in SF, where it's friendly, and er... uh.... cheap. (depending upon whom you KNOW, and honey, *I* can pull a LOT of *KNOW*s outta my butt!! (in a GOOD way!)

heee!!!
SF Nance (aka: tgov)

Blogger jenny said...

i'm totally going to name my next blog black hairy cube. just imagine the google hits!

and it's going to be in the low to mid 90's in chicago this week, so you actually lucked out. my hair has expanded to 12x its normal size.

Blogger Genevieve said...

sounds like fun! makes me really want to go to a conference sometime.

Blogger Freewheel said...

I want to hear more about the sex bloggers...

Blogger Melina said...

You aren't kidding about Chicago being located next to a swamp. I was there this weekend too (not for BlogHer), and I think I damn near melted.

Bliss products in a hotel? That's just too awesome for words.

I'm guessing (it's a stab in the dark) but are the black and white photos courtesy of the Smart Bar in Chi? I remember one of the bars in that area having a photo booth.

Glad you had a good time.

Blogger Jorge said...

You should have smuggled me in.
Parties are 1.5x funner when I'm around!

;)

Blogger Kelly said...

Might I just say - love the collar bones, deary!

Yes, I am a visual person.

Your parties always sound like so much fun. And even 1.5x funner when Jorge is around!

Blogger Lizarita said...

Just so you know, I totally don't expect us to be BFF even though you DID tell me while we were outside at the Children's Museum that we would be. *sigh*
I KID! You are so fucking awesome and I am SO GLAD that I got a chance to meet you!
And I promise to read your blog from this day forward.

Blogger Angie T said...

I ate cheezits on that pube-ridden bed, god damn it!

Oh well. Being able to crash the cocktail party at the Chuck E. Children's Museum and meet you and the smattering of blog hers was beyond fantastic! I think you should have challenged Lisa Ling to arm wrestling outside the dubya hotel.

Blogger Laurie said...

I stole not a single Bliss product.

I now consider my whole trip an utter failure.

Blogger Cheryl said...

Yes, my adopted city is entirely too humid. I rarely don't have a ponytail or braid from July through August. Looks like fun!

Blogger Alison said...

I'm not a mommyblogger, but I am a mom, and my kids prevented me from attending BlogHer this year (and last year; the year before that it was lack of funding. And my kids).

Not that I'm bitter, because I'm not. Really. But damn, I love Chicago. And I'd love to meet some other bloghers.

*sigh* :)

Blogger AlwaysArousedGirl said...

I'm sorely disappointed that my hotel had neither Pube Cubes nor Bliss products.

I feel cheated.

I did, however, get a potholder from Butterball. That makes it alllll better.

Blogger Erika said...

This comment better work. I've only tried, like, FIVE HUNDRED times!

Soooo good to see your gorgeous face again. Love ya :)

xoxo, Valente

Blogger Viviane said...

I thought your panel was terrific.

Pube cube!? Hilarious.

I took home many Bliss products. My bathroom is happy.

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