My one clean joke (remember, you asked for it)

A lonely man sat in his dark, small apartment, in dire need of some company. I’ll buy a pet, he thought.

The teenage cashier at Pet-O-Rama showed him all kinds of pets. Dogs. Don’t have a place to walk ‘em. Cats. Allergic. Rats. The apartment already has them.

The man decided on a caterpillar. Just the right size, he thought.

He took the caterpillar home and placed it in a tiny, darkened aquarium in the bathroom. All was quiet.

“Caterpillar,” the man said, knocking on the aquarium glass. “I’m going to get some dinner, do you want to go with me?”

Silence. I’ll come back in a few minutes just in case he’s sleeping.

The man returned a few minutes later and knocked on the glass once again. “Caterpillar, I’m going for Chinese food down the street. Lots of leafy greens! Wanna come?”

Silence. Maybe he doesn’t like Chinese.

The man decided he would go back again in five minutes. But this was the last straw. “Caterpillar!” he said, raising his voice. “I’m going to dinner now, with or without you!” Had he gotten this tiny friend for nothing?

A voice finally came from behind the aquarium glass. “I heard you the first time!” the caterpillar belted. “I’m still putting on my shoes!”