September 23, 2005
My one clean joke (remember, you asked for it)
A lonely man sat in his dark, small apartment, in dire need of some company. I’ll buy a pet, he thought.

The teenage cashier at Pet-O-Rama showed him all kinds of pets. Dogs. Don’t have a place to walk ‘em. Cats. Allergic. Rats. The apartment already has them.

The man decided on a caterpillar. Just the right size, he thought.

He took the caterpillar home and placed it in a tiny, darkened aquarium in the bathroom. All was quiet.

“Caterpillar,” the man said, knocking on the aquarium glass. “I’m going to get some dinner, do you want to go with me?”

Silence. I’ll come back in a few minutes just in case he’s sleeping.

The man returned a few minutes later and knocked on the glass once again. “Caterpillar, I’m going for Chinese food down the street. Lots of leafy greens! Wanna come?”

Silence. Maybe he doesn’t like Chinese.

The man decided he would go back again in five minutes. But this was the last straw. “Caterpillar!” he said, raising his voice. “I’m going to dinner now, with or without you!” Had he gotten this tiny friend for nothing?

A voice finally came from behind the aquarium glass. “I heard you the first time!” the caterpillar belted. “I’m still putting on my shoes!”

Labels:



34 Comments:

Blogger Megarita said...

Ha! This is much better than my "string walks into a bar" joke, which is the only joke I can tell at least somewhat well. (I'm deficient in this arena.) Nice!

Blogger JJ said...

Loved it. And proof clean jokes can be funny, too. We should do a movie about this with a hundred different comics telling this joke in their own way. Or has that been done?

Blogger Meg said...

Cute, cute.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Wicked.

That caterpillar should have loafers instead.

Sheesh.

Stupid caterpillar.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

*crickets*

Just kidding, Kris! So cute, I'll be telling it today for sure.

Blogger Bobby said...

do you know how long it has been since I read or heard a joke that wasn't dirty?

Thanks.

Blogger MoDigli said...

A-ha ha! Very cute! :)

Blogger Nicole Criona said...

hee hee hee - that actually got a laugh out of me!!

Blogger t2ed said...

I thought there were two kinds of jokes: clean ones and funny ones.

Blogger Washington Cube said...

This one won't be turning up in The Aristocrats, but it's a good one. Thanks for jump starting our weekend with a smile.

Blogger Dave said...

No more booze, clean jokes--I feel like we just don't know each other anymore.

Blogger babyjewels said...

that was cute, I'll tell my son that at dinner.

Blogger Jeremy said...

Wonk. Wonk. Wonk.

Blogger Shawn said...

Two guys walked into a bar...which is kind of funny 'cause you would think the second one would have ducked.

or...

What did the man say when he walked into the bar?

Ouch.


I'll be appearing live weeknights at the Ramada Inn off I-45...

Blogger Hope said...

Imagine what it would sound like if the caterpillar were wearing flip flops.

Blogger Kim said...

That's a terrible story! The poor man islonely so he gets a pet and it's an obnoxious little caterpillar with an attitude? I mean, come on, if you're going to take a while, say something. I feel sorry for the guy.

Thanks alot, now I'm all upset.

Blogger KlevaBich said...

So this baby seal walks into a club...

Blogger missbhavens said...

I love it! I needed a non-"...walks into a bar" joke, of which I have like 17.

"A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says 'what can I get for you', and the skeleton says 'I'll take a beer and a mop...'

I'm grateful for the new material.

Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Ha ha! Good joke!

Blogger lizzyjane said...

hehehehe!
I think I can actually remember that one!
I will tell it to Juan!

Blogger hillary said...
Blogger Brookelina said...

And now for a "walks into a bar" AND a Polish joke! Two for the price of one!

Polish guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender looks out the window and says, "Hey buddy, I think you left your flashers on."

Polish looks out the window and says, "No I didn't, yes I did, no I didn't, yes I did, no I didn't, yes I did....."

Blogger LBseahag said...

That was so clean I have that Summer's Eve feeling...

Blogger sunshine said...

I love it!

Blogger yournamehere said...

How come Hitler never drank whiskey?
It made him mean.

Thank you. I'll be here all week, ladies and gentlemen. Be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses. Try the veal.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

Okay, can I tell mine? My standard? I've told this every single time I've had to go under anesthesia or gas. I don't know why, it just comes out. And it is SO BAD I could hide forever.

Okay....

Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?




Because they have cotton balls.

Ironic - it's neither clean nor funny. Go fig.

Blogger Mercy said...

Cute. Clean jokes can be cute ... :P

Blogger Jackie said...

Cute! Loves it. :)

Blogger still_figuring_out said...

lol. a darn good one!

Blogger t2ed said...

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend just showed me this neat website full of joke
I cant believe the quantity an quality of humerous joke it contains
Heres one of the jokes i found on it:
Bob brought some friends home to his apartment one night after they had been out painting the town. One friend noticed a big brass gong in Bobs bedroom and asked about it."Thats not a gong" Bob replied "thats a talking clock. Watch this!"
Bob struck the gong and sure enough a voice on the other side of the wall screamed "Hey your jerk its 3 o'clock in the morning!"

Blogger Kely said...

Hello I want to congratulate to you. This site is fantastic, looks like entertained and very good to me it elaborated. I invite them to that they explore a little on my site of the Web
Our real estate listing includes great opportunities on Costa Rica Central Valley’s provinces such as San Jose, our Capital, with remarkable cities as Escazu at the west, or Curridabat at the east, experiencing a great development on both commercial and residential properties, making their real estate pricing highly attractive to investors; on other hand, Alajuela city gathers places with a very special warm weather such as Grecia, La Garita and Atenas, or beautiful farms for agricultural, cattle or nature preservation purposes as those located on San Carlos or Sarapiqui. We also offer land properties in Guanacaste, which is the province, along with Puntarenas, with the most beautiful tropical beaches on the Pacific Coast such as Tamarindo, Playa Grande, El Coco, Playa Hermosa, Nosara, Samara, Herradura, Jaco, Manuel Antonio, Dominical and Golfito, where the real estate business occupies the first place as the local economic activity.
Great investment opportunity at Costa Rica Pacific Coast, Preconstruction condos in costa rica
Condo sales in costa rica, Retirement property in costa rica. Visit us for more info at: http://www.costa-ricarealestate.com/

Blogger costa rica said...

These articles are fantastic; the information you show us is interesting for everybody and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it...: Great investment opportunity in Costa Rica: jaco beach real estate, map jaco beach, hotel in jaco beach costa rica. Visit us for more info at: http://www.jaco-bay.com/

Blogger Diana said...

This joke is for the ones who speak spanish: se abre el telon... hay una fila. se cierra el telon.
se abre el telon... hay una piña...se cierra el telon.
como se llama la obra?...
La piña colada...
sportsbook
http://www.enterbet.com

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer