September 15, 2005
I'm a genie in a flush valve, baby
Before my alarm so rudely jarred me awake this morning, I was enjoying every moment of berating Christina Aguilera for installing my toilet improperly.

I really should start drinking again.


36 Comments:

Blogger Megarita said...

Perfect. God knows, she might actually be doing some plumbing these days...or is she "on tour"? in "Belgium"?

I was very dissapointed to find that I misread that, and that you weren't BEATING her just berating her.

I think you can take her.

Next time, if you're dreaming about having hardwood flooring put in, think Timberlake, he does great work. SUCKS at hanging drywall though.

Blogger erin said...

i laughed really hard...but too tired to write more...

Blogger Mel said...

I usually have those kind of dreams when I drink...

I think your ban on alcohol stops this weekend. I'm going to Blacksburg for some serious tailgating... you should be too! :)

any "dream" about christina aguilera is really a nightmare.

Blogger Sub Girl said...

did you wake up with your heart pounding??

Blogger Kristen said...

ok that's the laugh I needed this morning.

Blogger Kim said...

What are you talking about?

I drink to have those dreams. 'Course, usually Tylenol 3 with Codine is also involved but that's a post for another time.

Blogger Slade said...

what a great dream! it would have been funny if your alarm had been set to radio and it went off to her singing...hehe

Blogger Candace said...

I thought you were beating her, too.

Takes it to a whole new level, doesn't it?

Blogger babyjewels said...

that bitch installed my ceiling fan all wrong too!

Blogger Dave said...

How was her thong-bearing plumber butt? Hot, I'm guessing.

Blogger Sizzle said...

it does sound like a good idea... the drinking, not the berating. :)

Blogger Washington Cube said...

Sorry if I ain't perfect
Sorry I don't give a -what-
Sorry I ain't a diva
Sorry just know what I want
Sorry I'm not a virgin
Sorry I'm not a slut
Sorry your toilet doesn't work
I won't let you break me
I'm a plumber
Think what you want

Anonymous Bad Maria said...

This seriously made me laugh and then jerk of all trades, babyjewels and washington cube brought tears to my eyes.

Perfect. But I have to agree with Kim & Mel, truly sounds like a dream I'd have because I was drinking.

Blogger Mindi said...

Thanks for the laugh!

Maybe you can daydream some more berating?

Blogger Kiki said...

That's pretty catchy!

Blogger deanne said...

Yes, but you know a handful of Temazepam will take care of that whole waking up thing (possibly forever).

Blogger MKD said...

That's so weird. I totally was dreaming of killing Christina. I couldn't find her though. She must have been installing your toilet.

Blogger Cheryl said...

It doesn't sound like you need to. Things are wacky without the drink...but what am I saying? Alochol is a girl's best friend.

Blogger missbhavens said...

I love it. Once I had a dream that Jessie Jackson was helping me pick out ripe canaloupes at the A&P.

Blogger Murph said...

The only time the subject of plumbing comes up in my Christina Aguilera dreams is when I make a distasteful joke after we finish having anal sex.

Blogger nutty said...

Potty mouth.

Blogger Jessica said...

Just think how bad it could have gotten if you'd been drinking?! Ok, really I'm not sure it could get any worse! How many more days to go?

Blogger lizzyjane said...

Tonight you should bitch out Britney Spears for actually procreating with her white trash fugly cheeto -eating fake husband of hers.

Blogger Marel Lecone said...

I'm still trying to remember a dream I had this evening. I must have been asleep for less than 20 minutes. It felt like an eternity. I felt like I had been drinking--it was such a deep sleep. Very strange, but probably not as strange as Christina A. installing your toilet. :)

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Was the toilet overflowing? Was she singing "Dirrrty"? 'Cos that would be hot.

haha

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Maybe Christina could clean your toilet, 'cause it's Dirrrrrrrrrrrrrty.

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

ohhhhhhh girl I LIKE your style!!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Not only am I jealous of your new blog template, now I am jealous of your dreams. I recently had a dream that someone took a big giant crap on the hood of my car. I wish I could rip Christina Aguilera a new one for improper toilet installation.

Blogger LBseahag said...

Christina with plumber butt?
That's hot...oh, wait...that would be PAris Hilton....damn dreams never get shit right!

Blogger Biscuit said...

We need a new toilet. I'd much rather pull up a chair and watch Christina tackle the job, instead of my husband.

Blogger t2ed said...

That's a really odd dream. Because there's no WAY that Christina has those kind of skills. Jeez. That's why she had to go into music/skanking.

Blogger Mercy said...

Do you think that would have anything to do with Spears doing work in my garden?

Anonymous Jorge said...

I thought that said "beating".

But it only said "berating".

You're not sober enough yet.

Blogger Livenwealthy said...

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