August 24, 2005
More about meme.
A tag from Bridget AND Min Pin!
If you haven't already, please take a moment to read the comments you all submitted to yesterday's post. I wish I could be that funny.

Seven things you plan to do before you die!
1. Travel to the pyramids and the Greek Islands
2. Document my family’s history

3. Go on a real roller coaster without being a) intoxicated or b) on beta-blockers

4. Feel like I’m living in the moment

5. Write something substantial that I don’t post to the Internet
6. Sing karaoke sober
7. Successfully raise a puppy.

Seven things you can do!
1. Win penmanship contests
2. Sing every word to pretty much every Billy Joel song ever recorded
3. Irritate my mother without really trying.
4. Lie
5. Do a spot-on imitation of a parakeet
6. Tell one clean joke
7. Create a vacuum-tight seal between my nose and upper lip

Seven things you can't do!
1. Babysit
2. Successfully wash my back, even with the aid of the recommended extenda-loofah
3. Understand a lick of Spanish
4. Swim correctly

5. Keep quiet when someone asks my opinion
6. Eat sushi
7. Like Bridget, I can’t drive a stick shift

Seven things you say most!
1. Hilar.
2. Cripes.
3. Cricket, I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop playing in the boxspring. What did I say? Mommy is going to return you to the shelter if you keep chewing on her hair.
4. I’m sleepy.
5. Murr.
6. Mama like.
7. Crickets.

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!
1. Sense of humor
2. Kind eyes
3. Need to take a nap at least once a day
4. Willingness to drive me while we’re in the city
5. Ability to locate my cats sans GPS on command
6. Shoulders
7. Ability to put up with me

Seven celebrity crushes!
1. I like me some Andy Garcia,
2. spoonfuls of Tyler Florence (Mmmm. Kris 911 . . .)
3. a little Mark Wahlberg (feel the vibration)
4. ample helpings of Mark Ruffalo
5. pinches of Andrew McCarthy in the late 80s
6. cups of Matthew McConaughey
7. and just a tiny dash of Tom Sizemore (when he isn’t assaulting people).


Blogger Kiki said...

Nice answers.
What's a beta blocker?
Do you remember the Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch song: Wildside. Man, that was the best. :)

Anonymous Neil said...

Can you sing a Billy Joel song in the voice of a parakeet?

Blogger Mel said...

This confirms it... we were twins seperated at birth.

Oprah here we come.

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

I also tagged you kris....but that's okay...I will try not to let it ruin my day....i will be alright I say....and if not I will go play with clay....or roll in the will listen to me neh. Okay?

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Tom Sizemore? I used to have a major crush on Jeff Goldblum. How's that for weird?


please just jump hump nearby gorillas rancidly

A certain kind of shoulders or just people that have shoulders? I bet not having shoulders would be a big turnoff.

Blogger Oh, that girl. said...

oh, I want to play...

xeroxed butts make nice kittie presents preferably xrayed indepth.

Blogger Kris said...

Dale, I knew someone would call me on it, but I didn't know you'd be online so soon.

Broad shoulders are preferred. Although I do like those scrawny Claiken shoulders . . .


Blogger Slade said...

speaking of marky mark...I used to love the new kids on the block--this just reminded me because he had a brother in the band. I was all about Joey!

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

ohhhhhhhhhhh Mark W...forgot him.Damn fine.


Kris you aren't on beta blockers are you??? I am and hate those things. They make you feel dead.

REALLY impressed by these lists!! IMitate a parakeet?? Raise a puppy ! Terriffic, I want to revise my list lol.


Blogger Jason said...

My puppies are halfway to full adulthood. My advice if you want to do it someday -- let go of all material possessions.

Blogger Marel Lecone said...

Mark Ruffalo, Andy Garcia, and Andrew McCarthy--I thought of these guys too. When I see Pretty in Pink now, I think and why did I fantasize over this guy but he was such a cutie in that movie, nonetheless. The way he looked at Molly Ringwald. Hmmm. Looks good and sweet. Great list.

Blogger nutty said...

A parakeet? Sounds like it's time for one of those audio blogs.

Blogger Sizzle said...

mark ruffalo = yum

i am weird like melliferous pants. i had a crush on jeff goldblum...ok, i admit it, i STILL have the crush.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Kris, I just saw yesterday that Sizemore has an XXX video out. Went to the site and I couldn't believe the stuff they were showing. He's hit bottom and shovel down just a little deeper.


Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Well, er, um...I might still have a crush on Jeff Goldblum. It's all about "Earth Girls Are Easy."


pervert umbrellas jauntily pimp yo-yo's

Blogger Danielle said...

Mama likey! I was doing a sevens post too and cannot get the prince song out of my head "all seven and we'll watch them fall."

will you share your clean joke?

Blogger Jackie said...

mmmm....mama likey mark walberg...hmmm.

Blogger Kristen said...

I'm an Andrew McCarthy/Blane fan myself...

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

"You linked me, you really linked me!"

~Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Seven things you plan to do before you die!
1. Save the world
2. Get a black belt in something. 16 years is a long time with nothing but deadly skill and no papers.
3. Learn how to speak cat
4. Take the ultimate photo
5. Write something publishable that people will like. Well, smart people, anyway.
6. Meet Kris
7. Meet Jamie

Seven things you can do!
1. Remember almost any kata
2. Play capoeira
3. Make Dave Laugh
4. Make Dave cry
5. Care about almost anyone
6. Make people feel better
7. Give great massages

Seven things you can't do!
1. Give birth
2. Give up
3. Speak Japanese fluently
4. Fly
5. Go without callig Dave for 2 days
6. Stop eating.
7. Stop hating GWB

Seven things you say most!
1. WTF Sensei?
2. Shweet
3. Munklin and punklin (referring to my cats)
4. Zugga Zug (referring to my cats)
5. Zing!
6. Him name is Hopkin Green Frog.
7. Noice!

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!
1. Sense of humor
2. Captivating eyes
3. Intelligence
4. Gives good massages
5. CAn tolerate my stupid habits
6. Patience
7. Fingers and calves

Eight celebrity crushes!
1. Candice Bergen
2. Michelle Yeoh
3. Miranda Otto
4. Liv Tyler
5. Angelina Jolie (Girl Interrupted version)
6. Jada Pinkett Smith
7. Rosalyn Sanchez
8. Kris

Blogger dag said...

I have only loved monkeys as long as I can remember. People, never.

Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Document my family’s history

I need to do this. Glad you're doing this for yours.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Have you checked out the Tom Sizemore sex tape that was leaked this week?

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