June 1, 2005
With some fava beans and a nice diet coke
G. Gordon Liddy and Pat Buchanan should be tied up Hannibal-Lechter style. Only their custom hockey masks should not have mouth slots to allow speech; instead, they should be locked in a room and forced to listen while mute to Eminem or something else equally as offensive as their ridiculous Watergate diatribes.


10 Comments:

Anonymous erika said...

Doesn't matter anyway - it happened before I was born.

Who's Nixon?

Anonymous your beau said...

When we build Pat's wall around this country, we could Hoffa him into it. Or leave him on the other side.

Blogger lizzyjane said...

Make 'em watch Beyonce videos!!!!
And Tom Cruise interviews!!!

Blogger Mel said...

How 'bout makining them watch Katie Couric deliver the news...? May be not as offensive as Eminem, or as disturbing as a Tom Cruise interview, but its close...

Blogger Kris said...

Those are sweet suggestions!

I think it might even top it should we show them Katie Couric doing interviews with celebrities - you know, giggling like everything they say is the funniest thing she has ever freaking heard (a la our friend Ms. Oprah Winfrey).

Couch jumping while talking about your new 26-year-old girlfriend? Talking to Lance Armstrong about leaving his wife and kids for a buff semi-rock star? Play-by-play photos of Roker's gastric bypass while he's eating ribs? HILARIOUS!

And I actually enjoy the Eminem. But I'm guessing Pat Buchanan might implode should he find it on his surround sound. Then again, Pat Buchanan might implode with the Beach Boys on his surround sound.

Blogger Kris said...

Screw anything I've said before. Let's have the gals from the View spend some time with them. That would do it.

Blogger Mel said...

PERFECT.

I think I am going to tivo The View and make my husband watch it every time he makes a dumb-ass remark. Like I said, payback is a bitch!

Blogger lizzyjane said...

Let's lock Katie Couric and Pat Buchanan in a room together until they claw eachother's faces off.

Blogger Shawn said...

Why not just crank up some Nixom White House tapes and tell them to shut the eff up... And cheers to the many other great ideas.

Is it just me or do their rantings boil down to, 'Nixon and his people shouldn't have gotten in trouble because it's not nice to tattle'?

Anonymous eva woods said...

ooh ooh i know.. we could take them and anne coulter and gerry falwell and dick cheney AND katie couric AND that annoying sarah-whatever-her-name-is from the food network and make them have babies (demon spawn) that would gobble them and each other up with thier scary little demon teeth.

if anybody could draw that comic strip, i'd pay money for it.

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