May 21, 2008
the sad, sad state of affairs
I made the mistake of watching the Bachelorette on Tivo last night. If this is all that’s left in the dating pool – men who special order briefs with your name scrawled on the ass, boys who get so tanked that they rip off their shirts to expose chests that should not see the dim light of night, and dudes who kick lemons off another’s head rather than just marking their territory with good old-fashioned urine – take me out back, pour boxed wine down my gullet, and put me out of my misery.

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24 Comments:

Blogger Gwen said...

How could you leave out the man tears, though? Especially when coupled with duck calls, that most romantic form of communication. That's always the best part!

(Another not currently hitched friend of mine had the same reaction to that trainwreck--see what I have to choose from, Gwen? she moaned).

Blogger kris said...

I can't believe I forgot the duck calls, G! Made by a man who looked like he drove an '87 Cabriolet.

Blogger t2ed said...

You know it's not really, reality, right? It's producer reality. Where every "cross section of people" involves crazies who will inject taut drama and/or drunken antics into filming.

Sporting event pre-game shows would be much more interesting if they applied this formula though.

Anonymous whoorl said...

My god, it was so horrible.

(Can't wait for next week.)

Blogger Alexandra said...

I don't want to watch that. It will depress me.

Blogger Lucy Rhode said...

After the producers take us through a couple weeks of toe curling comedy, they usually serve up some good emotional porn. I love fiction! Genders that no longer exist in the wild are nakedly displayed for our viewing pleasure.

By the by, I'm newly hooked on your writing. So glad to have found this spot.

Blogger GreenCanary said...

I'd pay good money to witness that debacle in person.

and now I ask you what is wrong with that??
J/K men they will do anything for tv

Blogger P.O.M. said...

Put me out of my dating misery with Dirty Martinis.
Thank you.

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

You KNOW that type of idiot was EXACTLY what the producers were looking for: someone who, at least looked (and acted) normal until you added alcohol and emotion then they just became instant assholes.

OpenID redstaplernation said...

Wait, is it wrong for girls to kick lemons off each others' heads and rip off their shirts?

Just askin'... :o/

Blogger Chantel said...

I don't watch it, I'm afraid I'll see someone I've dated on there.

Blogger Ulysses said...

Hey! Shut up! Why don't you go out and run into me by accident tonight (lord knows we couldn't do it on purpose -- it doesn't make any sense...). Or someone like me, only better looking and less sarcastic.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

He wants to be a ky-oat! Give him some love!

Blogger gorillabuns said...

You failed to mention the scads of zits/pimples on the dude's chest. and he wonders why he is single.

Blogger *~*Cece*~* said...

Shows like that make me thank my lucky stars I've been taken for the last 11 years! I don't know if I could handle being single again. I wouldn't know what to do!

Blogger Marissa said...

i KNOW! seriously. this is the dating pool? that is so, so unfortunate.

Anonymous Manager Mom said...

I just find that show so horrifying on so many levels.

It depresses me to think that some of those women go on there thinking they'll become famous and have an acting career, because, um, no.

But it depresses me more to think that some of those women go on there thinking they can really find TROOOOOO LOOOOVVVEEE. Um, no to the nth degree.

Either way, nut jobs.

Blogger Kelly said...

Those "gents" were the TV-able of the lot... That's what it must have been. Right?

Otherwise, fill my gullet with wine and tie me to you.

Blogger annie mae said...

Hi Kris, I've been reading your blog for a while now, finally started my own and stole one of your label titles....

I saw the guy pull his shirt off and howl on The Soup. So what does a girl who's given up on this nonsense do? We go for the intelligent, slightly nerdy type who seems the polar opposite of all that nonsense...and they turn out to be just the same, minus the howling and shirt-ripping. Arrrgghhh.

Even worse are these silly "bachelorettes" who are so heartbroken and SURPRISED when the guy hasn't fallen in love with them and want to spend the rest of their lives with them after 6 weeks.

Love your blog. Thank you.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

See, now I'm sorry I missed it.

OpenID itssocomplicated said...

hey,

I just started reading your blog, and I love you. Please check out my blog if you can. It's funny...

Blogger P.O.M. said...

I just found your blog too.
Oh LORD> I would rather go to bed after 3 martinis ALONE these days.

Blogger P.O.M. said...

Oh my gosh. I am going crazy. Just said the same thing twice. I'm losing my mind.

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