December 27, 2007
Onward ho ho ho.
It's over and I couldn't be happier about it. I know I shouldn't be, in much the same way that I should like to hold everyone's babies all the damn time, but I am. Thrilled. Consumed with the joy that I feel I should have had while everyone was trimming their trees with awful balls and cloth ornaments not washed since 1973. I'm happy Christmas is over.

In my house, Christmas does mean carnage. Not a one of our nuclear foursome escapes it, although I seem to be the unwilling recipient of most of everyone's anxiety dump. This isn't martyrdom; it's a clear, observed, documented, admitted family fact that I'm the black sheep of the clan, particularly at the holidays. Thanksgiving was an absolute debacle, my mother criticizing my every effort down to my reheating of the Thai takeout, all the while praising my sister's Godly steps and clearly superior highlights. I measure the success of most holidays in number of crying jaunts, and given that this year I made it through with zero, Nondenominational Holiday 2007 was a banner event in the old Likey household.

I'm convinced that this is a direct result of the no fewer than $80K I've invested in therapy this year with a woman who is helping me to set some boundaries. No, I don't want to spend my Christmas feeling like a damn 12 year old again. Yes, I'll come over; no, I won't help with the green beans, because every time I enter the effing kitchen you pull out a grenade and I really don't look all that great in red Kevlar. You see, as an adult, these are my holidays too, and I deserve some damn joy out of them. So I get it out of finding cute bows and shiny wrapping, patterned boxes and decorative gift bags. I get it by being the creative one. It's one of the things my family allows me to excel at, something they will actually comment on in the positive. Little joys.

I am convinced that bigger ones await. I want so much to have a family of my own, a husband and more cats and a dog and someplace to put up a tree, a safe place where I'm accepted and success isn't measured in a lack of tears. I pity this poor man, the eventual recipient of decades of stunted Kris joy. I can't wait to choose bold reds and place settings for those I'll welcome into my home. I can't wait to squeal upon finding the perfect holiday cards, to command a kitchen in which I'll cook the green beans any damn way I please, to pick up ornaments during our travels no matter what time of year. It won't be a taking back of the holidays, because they've always belonged to someone else. It will be starting traditions from scratch, every last one of them a success and a joy simply because they are mine.


28 Comments:

Blogger Kristabella said...

Here, here! I'm glad it is over too.

This year's holidays had me wishing I was back in California and UNABLE to come home for the holidays. Because those few Christmases in Cali, with just my friends and lots of wine, were some of the best evah.

Blogger Chantel said...

I'll drink to that!!

Blogger Gunfighter said...

When I left home and joined the MArines at age 17, I promised myself that I would always do Christmas my own way... which meant staying the feff away from my relatives. 27 years later, it's still workin' for me.

MAybe you should hang out with us next year.

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

Whoopie! I don't think that all the Kris joy is stunted! And Whomever the lucky man is, he will return that joy by reflecting it back to you!

I wish that I was thrilled by the holidays too. For me it's been one long slog of working until I didn't know what day it was when I awoke, not seeing most friends, putting off stuff until I had to have someone else do my laundry as I didn't have the time or Inclination. It will be better next year...

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

Oh, and I want another Cat too! I miss my fur-person snuggling next to me. I'm almost through my mourning and I will once again wake up to paws melding on me to get up and feed them.

Blogger Mia said...

But then again, there's a LOT to be said for a tearless holiday.

Cheers.

Blogger Sturdy Girl said...
Blogger Mme.Meow said...

Love means never have to say, "Well, that's not how *I* do it and so therefore you're doing it wrong."

Happy holidays, Kris!

--Maria

Blogger Sizzle said...

i like the future dream. hang onto that. :)

Blogger Jorge said...

I invent my own reasons for liking Christmas.

One of those ways is to spell it with a Kris.

So really, we all celebrate you up here at our place.

:)

Blogger KlevaBich said...

I agree, it's time to put the "Kris" back in "Krismas"! Getting through the season without tears actually is a pretty good accomplishment, so don't sell yourself short.

But don't put your fantasy holidays on hold until the right guy comes along, please. Do it now, do it alone. Because that man just may not come along for a long time, and that's okay. You do NOT need a man to complete you, you're 100% all by yourself, m'kay?

Happy New Year, Kris!

Blogger Nicole said...

This was an awesome post. I totally know how you feel. My biggest holiday tradition that I will put in place? Once I have a family of my own, everyone is coming to me.

And also, we're having quiche.

Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Happy New Year and cheers to starting your own new traditions.

Blogger Spirophita said...

I'm with ya, Kris. My Christmas was filled with turkey sandwiches, and screaming fights over who *really* one transformers Risk. It was also better than years prior.

I suggest you start new traditions, husband and dog or no. :)

Blogger Kelly said...

You've got it all wrong. That someday man will have nothing to feel sorry about when he gets together with you. He'll have a strong, brave, kick ass blogger for a wife. Who wouldn't want that? Sorry about the family. I've been there.
Peace and love this New Years!

Blogger Phil said...

You go, girl.

Rock on.

Namaste.

Blogger Wendy said...

What your mom said sounds exactly like something my mom would say, and does say now, which is why I've completely distanced myself from my family, and have started my own traditions at Christmas with hubby. You keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right track. And I'm happy too that Christmas is over! Happy New Year.

Blogger Whimspiration said...

HUZZAH!

Nothin' but love. I need to find a therapist like yours, I could also use the spine to tell my family where to shove it. *smile*

Good for you hun, and congrats on those boundaries!

Blogger KB said...

I could not agree more!! Seriously, thank god we both made it through. Big :heart: from me to you! Happy New Year, lady!

Blogger Cheryl said...

I hear you.

Kris, My feelings exactly! Someone who's thinking like me...maybe I don't need therapy afterall :) I could not agree with you more. Cheers to a New Year and New Traditions...darn...I'm out of Pinotage...sorry to cut this short but I must make a run to the wine store.........
~ Raven

Blogger Martine said...

My feelings exactly, as well. I keep my distance (literally) during the holidays and believe me, it helps.

Blogger BOSSY said...

Bossy can't wait for stuff, and then she can't wait for stuff to be over, and then she mourns the stuff when it's finished -- talk about Therapy!

Blogger Paige Jennifer said...

Holy shit - you just totally turned this Jewess onto Christmas.

Blogger Dolce SP said...

Stumbled onto your blog and it cracks me up! Love it!

Blogger Danielle said...

i've always dreamed of such family christmas' too, but alas, i'm stuck with chanukah. oh well. i hope 2008 is wonderful for you! cheers!!!!

AHHH....I can't wait for that moment either, until then however, Thai takeout is just as perfect :) CHEERS.

Blogger yo said...

Love your blog- and I couldn't agree with your Xmas post more. After another year of Holi-daze, everything falling short of expectation and feeling beaten-up by family, I am going to to boycott Christmas next year. I need a break.

FYI: don't pity the future man. As my Grandmother once told me, "Casey, they are all the same, just with different names"... meaning: they are pains in the asses too (just in different ways than the parental units)... the same wise woman also told me that "God lets you pick your friends because you're stuck with your family" Amen.

Pick out your own bold reds next year and enjoy sampling them alone while you wrap beautiful presents to yourself. Cheers!

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