May 30, 2006
Hate mail can be sent to Jurgen
I haven't yet found my niche in the blogosphere. As far as I know, there isn't a large contingent of winos claiming they aren't, women who religiously go to bed by 11 pm, or oxygen-consuming, Earth-residing humans who hated Forrest Gump. I'm pretty sure there's a Single Renters with Cats Fan Club, but that is one party that I don't yet want an invite to.

So I'm going to jump on the bandwagon of an already established slice of the blogger pie.
Meet Nigel, my new adopted infant the child I bought at a Mississippi WalMart the baby boy I birthed this week in Namibia. His father and I are so proud of his (insert something all homo sapiens accomplish but is 100x more interesting when it's your china doll child with seams infant who did it)!

Stay tuned for posts on poop, reports on Nigel's first scenic drive through DC,

every detail about how I washed my pride and joy - and my rubber ducky breast pump - in the break room sink on Take Your Offspring to Work Day,


and crazy pics of Nigel falling into Mommy's unattended box of Kashi Good Friends ok, it was Chardonnay.

Silly Mommy.





crickets.



Craptastic. Apparently I wouldn't be any good at mommyblogging, either.


30 Comments:

Blogger Keith said...

Is that crickets I hear or somebody's biological clock tick tick ticking? Either way, it's funny.

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I've got the wino thing, but not the denial thereof, and on nights when I can sleep I'm usually asleep by 11:30. Maybe we can start our own damned niche.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Hehehehehehe.

It's all good. There are a million different ways to blog. Why does there have to be a box?

Blogger Thérèse said...

Heeeeeeeeeee hehhehehehehe...

I said box.

Blogger Finn said...

*snort*

Honey, you are your own niche. Why conform? Conformity sucks.

I think your new baby needs to go on a road trip... send him around to his blog aunties and uncles and let them take pictures of his adventures.

xo

Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

who needs a niche. You can do it all. Next post how about something for the soul sistahs!

Anonymous Jorge said...

Hee hee!
Thérèse said box.

Aw, your little squirt looks just like his mama, what with the yarn for hair and everything.

At least you don't have to worry about your progeny having a brillo pad for hair like yours truly.

What are we gonna do, mama?

J

Blogger Wicked H said...

Don't conform, make your own niche. Oh wait, you already have. That's why I am here..anyone else?

Blogger Jasclo said...

I bet Cricket and Bugg are maaaaaaaaaad! :)

Blogger TrappedInColorado said...

That was a funny funny post. Very witty. We have similar senses of humor. Thanks for the "morning after a 3 day weekend" laugh.

Peace

Anonymous Maliavale said...

Hahaha. It was a valiant attempt!

Is there really a cereal called Good Friends? That makes me feel evil inside. *shudder*

Blogger Amy said...

it's the "crickets" line that makes me laugh out loud everytime!! It's just too funny!!

(By the way, sometimes blogs all about kids gets old - and I'm a mom!)

Blogger Egan said...

You know what's great about this post, the nod to Kashi Good Friends. The people on the covers of Kashi are slightly freaky. They're just too good. Some are lovers I think.

Do you get this question about your blog? "What's your blog about?" How the hell does one answer that? Please tell me Mama.

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...

Hmm.


How was Namibia? Peaceful and quiet, I hope.

Anonymous Jenn said...

I too am a sucker for the crickets.

You are fun. I would send you a bottle of wine to feed your habit if I had more than four dollars right now.

Blogger JJ said...

You need a baby. It's obvious. And WalMart is running a special in their lost and found department.

Blogger playfulinnc said...

Lactating can give you a whole new perspective. I recommend it.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I love this!! A blog baby! You may have just started a new trend. I'm so in.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

You are a f***ing riot.

Anonymous Jurgen Nation said...

What? Why the hate mail???

Blogger Della said...

Everyone should have a Nigel before the real kind!!!! I waited till 30, with a Nigel, I may have waited till 40!

This niche is fine!

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

Love it, you've gone and done it again, lady!!!!!

heh heh heh.

Anonymous Amy said...

I'm totally with you on the wino in denial, I'm rarely up past 11, hate Forrest Gump, but I am not a single renter (although I do have 2 cats), and think that is the coolest niche to be in.

Don't jump the shark with a baby! You could lose a limb. Or drop the baby. Which is probably worse, social service-ly speaking.

Blogger Jessica said...

Ha ha ha! Stay a renter, trust me. This house buying thing is a nightmare! Love the crickets, and Nigel is adorable. Definitely takes after his mama! ;)

Blogger Megarita said...

Awesome. That kid's an investment, and no pesky food bills!

Blogger Stefanie said...

I am a wino and a mom but I don't let either title totally take over my blogging life cause I'm a PERSON DAMMIT. Not "just a wino" there's so much more to me than my wine consumption. Let's see there's my interest in...look I don't need to be put on the spot here. But I'll keep reading baby or no baby.

Blogger Sizzle said...

pictures ARE worth a thousand words. ;)

Anonymous boozie said...

You are hilarious. And, hi, the title of my blog is about how I'm a drunk. I recently began the wine drinking and now, god help me, I can't stop. I'm actually sitting here thinking about wine now.

Do I have a problem?

Blogger CamoBunny said...

aaaaahahaha! you took the words right outta my...

well, no. i wouldn't have been able to say it with such acerbic sweetness. but you've won this first time visitor over with your craptastic pseduomommyblog post. thanks for making me laugh today.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I consider myself part of the contingent of winos claiming they aren't. And mommyblogging is boring. I come here for the booze and crickets.

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer