November 14, 2005
Ode to the beau, or let me count the ways
Dear beau,

Thank you so much. I loved every minute of our weekend (ok, at least a few of them).

The spinach and ricotta ravioli made with two quarts of heavy cream made for a wonderful weekend appetizer. Not to mention the iPod. Finally, a place to put my Stealers Wheel and Christina Aguilera without the Heathers girls catching on.

Watching over me as I ordered just one more beer and a round of lemon drop shots to follow, as at age 32 cheap vodka apparently needs no chaser. The way you promised to nurse me back to health, searching on Saturday morning for the nearest blinds, supreme Dijourno, and all of the ginger ale to be had in the national capitol area. Not to mention the exhorbitant Advil purchase intended to remedy a headache the magnitude of which I hadn't experienced since I last woke up on the Kappa Sig basement floor. My sanity and I both thank you, babe. From behind my smoky hair and the darkest sunglasses you could find, I recall thinking that I couldn't love you more.

That was until tonight. When I heard you in the bathroom, gagging because you had used the highly-pressured aerosol intended to clean out computer keyboards to dislodge a morsel of ham from your teeth, I once again knew we were meant to be.

Forever,
Kris

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46 Comments:

Blogger Marissa said...

Wow. What an atypical approach. Hilarious! :)

Wow...sounds like you got yourself a keeper.

Let me know if he ever helps you go to the bathroom after you've thrown your back out moving. And if he does, marry him.

Blogger missbhavens said...

(sigh)...

he sounds dreamy. Positively dreamy!

Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Wait till you hit 35... ;o)

Anonymous your beau said...

Thank you for the kind words boo. For the record, I had turkey, you had ham.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

AAAHAHAH!!! Kris, you're awesome. If your beau is half as cool, you're a lucky gal.

Blogger Keith said...

The icons are easily read right on the "Duster" can - don't suck on the straw, don't use the straw as a Q-Tip, don't hold thre raindrops in your hand and DON'T LOOK AT FIRE. EVER.
I love that Stuck in the Middle With You song, too.

Blogger A Unique Alias said...

Creative solution to the lack of a WaterPik. He must be an engineer of some sort.

Anonymous Jorge said...

That last paragraph indicates that you and I could also have been an item.

Ah, the power of compressed air...

Blogger Anisa said...

hahaha! what a great letter...when a man will nurse you back to health after too much partying, you know it's serious...

:)

Blogger Candace said...

"Wuv, twoo wuv..."

Blogger Poppy Cede said...

Isn't that what tooth picks and dental floss are for? Can-o-air is expensive!

Blogger Dave said...

Holy crap did I laugh at that.

In case there's confusion, that wasn't a question.

This entry also underlines how badly I dropped the ball on my wife's last birthday.

Blogger Sizzle said...

lucky you! :)

Blogger mysterygirl! said...

This is a thing of beauty.

Blogger MKD said...

He didn't see the message "DO NOT INHALE. CONTENTS MAY BE FATAL?" I think it is a sign of true love.

Anonymous Jorge said...

Dave - Yes. I was very upset at this. No loving for you.

Kris - Listen here, Miss Spelling. I will fly down to DC to kick your scrawny ass if you keep it up.

;)

Blogger Heather B. said...

ahhh true love is so so sweet.

(Read this in a high-pitched whiny voice"

"Oh beau....I love you SO much....yes I do...yes I do...NO, I love YOU more....Yes I do...No, nobody could POSSIBLY love anyone as much as I love YOU.....blah blah blah blah!"
:P~~~

I'm not jealous or anything.

Mumble mumble lucky bastard mumble

Blogger Cheryl said...

wow sounds like you are definitely lucky.

the computer aerosal for teeth?! Really?

Blogger erin said...

that is so hilariously sweet it's ridiculous....and thanks to today's entry and my strong starbucks coffee i feel myself going into a sugar coma....
just poke me if i start twitching...
seriously, your beau sounds great...any brothers??
glad you had a great birthday even though the post-birthday hangover sounded like a B*TCH...

Blogger LBseahag said...

that's hilarious...gotta love that canned air...

clean teeth and a great nurse!

Blogger JordanBaker said...

I think that demonstrates the sort of ingenuity deserving of rewards, frankly.

Blogger TJ said...

sounds like a successful birthday--and lol at the aerosol dentistry...

Blogger AJ Gentile said...

Hmmm... does that WORK?

Gotta try that.


:pause:


OWWWW!!!! COLD!!! AAHHHHHH!!!

:shakes fist:

Blogger jane said...

I heard about this advertising scheme on a another blog, that gives away free computers. It sounded like a scam, but after I googled it, it was legitmiate. You have to sign up for an offer from one the sponser companies. I did a free trial one. Here's the link, check it out.
Mac Mini

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

One of my co-workers tried to sweet talk me into letting her spray compressed air UP MY NOSE so that she could see what would happen.

Blogger oregano said...

Love is a beautiful experience. Today, I was moved to poetry.

Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Ahhhh....
So sweet and real. Aint love grand?

Blogger Lindsey said...

lol! That was great! I was giggling to myself until I reached the end and I couldn't help but to just laugh out loud.

Everyone needs love.

Blogger Bridget Jones said...

THAT was MARVELOUS!!!!


Still rolling on the floor laughing!!


You sure are meant to be!!!


Bridg

Blogger lizzyjane said...

The tow of you MUST meet up with us in St. Lucia when we get married in the spring.

Blogger rebecca_knox said...

I have a girl crush!

And it's you!

Clever, as per the usual ...

Blogger Dutchess said...

huh, never thought about that one... its a quick high and floss. nice.

Blogger Finn said...

Aww, how sweet. But please tell beau not to ever, ever floss with that stuff again. He could die. Like dead. The refrigerant cuts off oxygen to the brain.

Blogger still_figuring_out said...

lol. hope you beau is doing ok.

Blogger Kristen said...

I just don't even know what to say.

I wish you had whipped out the camera on this one because it is almost impossible to believe. And to think that floss never came to mind.

Anonymous sandra said...

My god that's fantastic. For your reference - re: atypical ways to deal with things - we found in college that leaf blowers are really a lot more efficient than mops for tiled or hard wood floors.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

your life is the best of all.

Blogger Jessica said...

hahahahahaha! I can't think of anything else to say hon, just that. Keep him, if only for the sheer entertainment value of the canned air episode. The caretaking abilities are pretty awesome too!

Blogger Aimée said...

I love you both. Especially when I appoint myself your in-laws' wedding planner and when I read that someone else can now take-on the role of emergency hangover helper .. or EHH ... much like the sound I make when I hear anything that implies you two do IT. I love said beau for loving my best friend ... and I guess he's okay as a person, too.

Blogger mrsmogul said...

I wonder if I should get one of those aerosal cans for my keyboard? At the moment, I just blow at it.

Oh. My. Goodness. that was funny. Mostly because I can picture my own beau doing exactly the same thing. Why do men insist on being unconventional?!

Blogger Marissa said...

Meant to be! This is adorable and I Love it! Sounds like the celebration was fabulous!

Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

The spinach and ricotta ravioli made with two quarts of heavy cream made for a wonderful weekend appetizer.

Next time you eat something like this, invite your buddy The Zombieslayer. You two can get all romantic and everything. Don't mind me, I'll just eat the food. :)

Blogger nabbalicious said...

Hahaha! I love that. He's clever, that one.

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