June 14, 2005
It's half man, half horse
I don't know anyone who is truly happy.

Whether it's heartache, the mortgage, the wrong career, searching for a lost something that never really was, or the pang that is jealousy, everyone in my world has something. Some carry it right out in front like a trophy, unaware of how large their medal has become. More often it's insidious and makes its way into routine phone calls, conversations over coffee, and even postcards. Wish you were here. This place would be great if it wasn't so damn hot.

Happiness must exist, because we make movies and write books about it. (They do fall in love and live happily - rather than heartily - ever after, don't they?) Then again, we write books and movies about centaurs. Scratch that. Well, I know I've felt it, so happiness must exist. There.

But if happiness is a sustained state of being, then it eludes me. I've got satisfaction, awe, contentment, beauty, and love in my life. But where is the constant state of being that is captured in a giggle, in the face of that cat, in the pleasure of a bad pun, in a book that keeps you up reading well into the night?

Who is happy?


25 Comments:

Blogger kitkat said...

I just had a thought as I was reading this. I don't know if I believe it, but it seems like happiness never exists in the present. It exists in memory and in hope for the future, but when do we really feel happy being right where we are? I've felt happiness in the present, but it was never to the degree of the happiness experienced in memory. Interesting.

Blogger oregano said...

I think that when we are truly happy, we are too busy being happy to think about the fact that we are happy.

It is not like we are sad all the time. Just on days when I do not have chocolate.

Blogger Kris said...

Good points from both of you, per usual . . .

Does anyone know someone who is genuinely happy, and not just too emotionally stunted to know that they might not be?

Blogger lizzyjane said...

I am often quite happy, and I take the time to recognize it and enjoy it.
But the only reason I know I am happy is because it is different from all the other emotions I feel everyday.
Most often, I feel content.
If we were all "captured in a giggle" all the time, then we would just be bored.

Blogger portuguesa nova said...

Great post...and great comments...I completely agree about it existing in the past...which sucks.

Blogger Jeff said...

I don't think you can be permanently happy. You build up a tolerance to happiness, just like you build a tolerance to pain.
Happiness takes more and more effort to sustain, until you just can't go any further. You have to experience pain and unhappiness. You can't have one without the other.

Blogger LilRed said...

I am definitely not happy. In fact, I live in a constant state of anger and denial. But I love it!

Blogger Kiki said...

I really liked what kitkat had to say. But I do think there are moments when you recognize your happiness as opposed to just ignoring it. When your angry, sad, etc. it's easier for your mind to keep replaying why you are upset and it sortof becomes a grudge or a chip on your shoulder that interferes with happiness occuring at other times. Same for why I am always bitching about my boyfriend but I never tell people when he is absolutley adorable and sweet.

Blogger Mel said...

Ah, Kris, you have made my morning. What better way to explain how I am feeling presently. I love how all my blogettes can put life into a better prospective for me. I look on to all your blogs, and can't help feeling we're deeply connected somehow...

Here's to the hope of happiness! If anyone, you deserve it!

Blogger Jodi said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog (and I fixed the self-tanner scre-up somewhat...)

There is always something that will bring someone down (tax increases, auto repairs, etc.) but I think that in general happy people are happy because they focus on the postive and the negatives are only temporary breaks.

The again, there are people who are just outright pessimists, always down on the negative and considers a positive just a stroke of good luck.

I think it just depends on the type of person you choose to be.

Blogger Vivian to Some said...

I heard this really sad, but I think completely true saying once: People are never as happy as when they think they're about to be.

Blogger kitkat said...

Vivian, it is very true. But is that happiness any less worthwhile? I mean, I love Friday because I think, finally, the weekend! I can sleep in tomorrow! But when Saturday comes, I'm already starting to dread Sunday (homework, chores, etc.). I never enjoy Saturday as much as I enjoy the Friday that I think about Saturday! But, as long as Fridays make me happy, what's the difference?

Blogger Kris said...

Thanks to all of you for your insightful comments (and good wishes)!

Kit, maybe the difference is that you should be able to have both Friday and Saturday? That is, to experience happiness in both the anticipation of and the being in the present?

Blogger Adrian said...

Eat BANANAS. : )

Bananas make you happy.

Anonymous your beau said...

Thought# 1
For me, The most depressing moments in life are when I realize a great moment is ending. I find this often with trips, concerts, parties, etc. I love the anticipation, I love the memories, But I HATE the sobering thought that its over. And I don't always have this awakening. But when I do, its pure hell. Perhaps this explains why I cryed after the finale of the Real World-Seattle.

Thought#2
I can deal with unhappy people, though I think they are few and far between-the truly unhappy. Far worse are negative or pessimistic people. They are toxic. They can cripple and destroy you spiritually.

Blogger bandick said...

I think there is a difference between happiness and general contentment. Moments of true happiness have me practically bouncing off of the walls. But my norm is a feeling of being okay with the way things are. Even through all of the messy Heartbreaker stuff I maintained an overall satisfaction with who I am and the life that I've developed for myself.

But, The Heartbreaker is driving up tonight to stay for an "undetermined" length of time, so today I am HAPPY!

Blogger Kris said...

Adrian - banana splits may solve it all, but I don't know about bananas alone . . .

YB - I do hope it doesn't end.

Bandick - Is the Heartbreaker going to end up back on the scene for good? Glad you are happy. :)

Blogger Slade said...

This is interesting because I have recently realized that I am extremely happy in my "immediate" life such as my marriage, career path, school, pets, house ect....but I am still unhappy with my "surrounding" life such as relationships with my sperm-doner (birth father that is), step-family, brothers, I guess you could say the things of my past. It is really weird, because when I think of these things they cause my current happiness to diminish...why is that?

Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

Wow, there really are some great comments here - and I thought the topic was great to begin with.

I had to think about this one, but I think I'm happy, when I'm not thinking about how many things are wrong in my life. Does that make sense?

Blogger Carol Danvers said...

pink lemonade - definitely makes sense!

I am the most happy when something totally unexpected reaches out and grabs me and makes me belly laugh or makes me truly grasp the beauty of the world that exists underneath all the ugly, grimy layers. That's why I love blogs so much - they are all totally unexpected and it's quite a cool experience to see how events/experience effect different people in different ways. Talk about insight!

And YB - that was a perfect response all around. Negative people are definitely toxic. And I get supremely unhappy when I realize something I love is about to end (concert/movie/book/etc.)

Great comments everyone!

Blogger Sub Girl said...

when you worry about being happy, you are not happy, you're worrying. i guess happiness is just being content with BEING...not worrying about the next step. that's why I worry that i'm never going to be happy.

thanks for the blog comment!

Blogger Miranda said...

I think happiness is real.

I've known a lot of people who are perpetually depressed. Little things in their life will go right, and they'll smile for awhile, but what's inside them is dark and unchanging.

And I think that the opposite feeling is happiness. Where things will go wrong, and you'll fight, but inside you there's still warmth and the feeling that it is good to be alive.

Anonymous Vermont Neighbor said...

Wow, truly the thread of Philosophy!

I agree with Carol... and everyone's answers are so solid and satisfying, I'm thinking how can philosophy contain anything more than what's on this thread? I'm happy.

And I agree with Kitkat and post #1, especially.

Blogger Mortgage Center said...

Hi, Thanks for your interesting blog. Keep up the great work! I also have a site & blog about mortgage calc, please feel free to visit.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer