June 17, 2008
sleep study
If you caught 60 Minutes Sunday night, you spent one half hour of your life learning much of what you already knew about sleep deprivation: it can impair your memory, your driving prowess, and your ability to be asked inane questions without choking Leslie Stahl. But guess what else? When a male fruit fly is denied sleep, he spends his time cleaning himself and drinking boxed wine rather than mating.

Doctors have long suspected I have a sleep disorder. I have had thyroid and blood tests and MRIs to no avail. I have yet to head in for my night of electrodes and rude awakenings, but I think I'm on to something. It's sleep deprivation--not my thinning hair, my loud tone, my high expectations, my love for cats and Celine, my awkward attempts at sports, nor my distaste for children--that accounts for my single status.

I'm telling you, people. The flies have it.


13 Comments:

Blogger Jorge said...

Ah, sleep studies.

Best way to have your leg hair removed.

Of course, they only remove think rectangular strips because that's the shape of the tape that they affix those $*(@*($* electrodes to your legs.

Blogger nancypearlwannabe said...

I thought about doing a sleep study this summer, just to get some cash. Gotta love medical research!

Blogger Jitters said...

If only this was the answer....lol

Blogger t2ed said...

This is why I do all my sleeping during staff meetings.

Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

Sigh - so all you need to do is pop some Ambien and you'll wake up to your prince charming?? I'm willing to buy that - after all it worked for Snow White AND Sleeping Beauty!

Blogger Rachel said...

Sleeping disorder...I think that I have one too!

Blogger Jen said...

Maybe you should switch to vodka...I never have trouble sleeping. Oh wait...I think there's a difference between sleeping and passing out, right? Ha! I thought of you on Sunday. It was a hard day for me, too.
Peace.

OpenID redstaplernation said...

Sleep apnea?

Not diagnosed by thyroid or blood tests, or MRIs for that matter. Sure will eff up your naptimes though.

Just a thought.

Blogger John said...

Thinning hair? In a pro cats, no kids, high expectations world, we're a perfect match. And I like wine too.

: )

Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

Kris, I'd take you over a fruit fly ANY day! I just don't know if I would be argueably better than boxed wine- it is good...

Anonymous Jess said...

I watched that too! The fruit fly thing was funny because I feel like I know a lot of guys can be compared to fruit flies...in mental capacity, and now in sexual urges.

It explains so much.

Blogger Alexandra said...

dude!!! That's what I have too! Now it all makes sense...I'd think about this more, but I have to go get some boxed wine now...

Anonymous Carlo said...

Good Job! :)

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