July 3, 2007
interrupted
I channeled so much excitement into this one moment that I had to sit myself down on the couch for a good self talk before making the call. I had crafted the plan on the way home, rehearsing my words and envisioning the surprise and stuttering that would result in my absence. During those minutes of frenzied thinking, I discovered just what damage the teeth of a nervous - nay, eager - Nellie can inflict on defenseless thumbnails in their proper place at the absolute wrong time.

Someone important to me would break into smile before knowing exactly what had happened, and would scan the room wondering if just maybe I was there, settling instead for placing a long distance phone call of thanks, one vowing unavoidable and unexpected return of the favor. A smile would plant itself on my face for the remainder of the night. Beaming, I would know that my efforts would, when I least expected it, be exceeded.

But intent isn't everything, I realize in that spot on the couch where minutes before I sat with such anticipation. When the required players refuse their parts, the scene disintegrates quickly. It's 70 to zero in the blink of an emotional eye.

And so the surprise is shelved for another evening down the road, one on which I'm open to giving more than I receive, likely when I too least expect it.


15 Comments:

Blogger Jorge said...

I need my decoder ring.

But I left it in my other pants.

I feel like I just ate a retard sandwich. ..but I'm going to chalk it up to Kris' CLEARLY superior intellect. :) Happy 4th of July!

Blogger Freewheel said...

So cryptic...

Blogger Miss Scarlet said...
Blogger Marissa said...

i love this!

Blogger Melissavina said...

I'm corn fused.

Blogger Beth said...

OK, good. I thought it was just me! wtf?

Blogger Lord Fondleberries said...

as the moz once crooned, "i was looking for a job and then i found a job. and heaven knows i'm miserable now."

***

three of them smiled when they read in the local paper that allen was coming home. finally. but---and i swear only i saw this---stanley looked up, removed his glasses, and a couple of tears crawled down the side of his face, and came to rest on his upper lip. he knows, i thought; he knows.

***

yesterday, while we were playing in the yard, nelly cut herself on the swing set. she cried and cried: her favorite pink dress---the one covered in tiny white poka dots and the white satin bow tied tightly around where her waist should be---now ruined by the small droplets of red-blue blood leaking from her scratched arm. when we finally left her there, still crying, her mother hadn't, as usual, come to see what was the fuss. as we walked away, i don't think any of us felt much for that little girl, left sitting alone with her tears and stained favorite dress.

***

"and why the hell not? every time i see candy, she's got another man wrapped around her, why can't i get some every once in a while?"

"you're drunk susan. besides, you should be careful what you wish for, you could end up just like her. it's so sad. she's so desperate. isn't it obvious?"

Blogger KB said...

I love you, but I do not like the posts that I don't understand. They make me feel like I am not part of the cool kids club, and who likes that feeling?

Blogger Maliavale said...

I was hoping you guys would have the answers.

Blogger Kristin said...

No more wine for you, young lady, until you explain yourself ! We want to know all the smelly details of your life. Spill it.

Blogger abbersnail said...

Thank goodness no one else understands. I thought maybe I was drunker than I thought!!!

Blogger Lara Angelina said...

I just popped in to read your blog and I feel like I'm coming into a conversation that started a couple years ago --- however, it still makes me want to join the party! Well, that and that profile pic. Put dark hair on her and 20 pounds and it could be me!
Great blog!
Lara
ps...I'm glad you drink pinot. You know what they say about merlot...

Blogger fiona said...

My dear mamalikey, I know (or think I do) just what you mean.

Blogger Chaotic said...

It sounds like it's about The Boy...sorry

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